“You have a problem focusing,” the doctor informed me.
Well thank you Captain Obvious. Just call me Doug the Dog from “Up.” SQUIRREL!
I live with preschoolers – two of them. The cumulative attention span of our entire household equals that of a near-sighted goldfish. Continue reading
Morning begins with a cry for Mama (oh who are we kidding – the cry is for waffles). One of the little men is awake. Except he doesn’t want to get out of bed. (Maybe if he hides under the covers no one will notice him.)
The adult of the house least able to feign sleep entreats the sleeping muppet to get up and get dressed. The real motive behind such excitement to start the day? No one knows how well the Nighttime Pull-up has held up against the unwilling bladder of a 3-year-old.
To the potty! Continue reading
Hi Katie,
I don’t know you and you don’t know me. But we certainly have something in common — our children. Rather, MY children, whose photos you appear to have pilfered in order to post to your Facebook timeline and claim them as your own. Continue reading
Jon and I headed out on the town Saturday night to take in dinner and a show. Because what could possibly be more romantic than a date night with Mythbusters. (Admit it – you’d be wondering if they’d blow something up on stage too.)
Are you familiar with the show? Mythbusters is a reality show that has been airing on the Discovery Channel for 11 years. Using actual science, the hosts explore popular myths (hence the name) to test the plausibility of rumors, myths, movie scenes, adages, Internet videos and news stories. The science is real, educational, entertaining and they pretty much always blow something up. Continue reading
Several weeks ago the Wells Fargo fraud prevention line called us. A delightful waste of shared oxygen had somehow obtained my credit card number and gone on a spending spree.
The perp had gone on a $43 spending spree at El Pollo Loco in Hemet, Calif. (Yeah…that wouldn’t have been my first choice for thievery either.)
We called the bank to begin the arduous process of sorting out the stolen pieces, immediately offering to obtain a police report. (Because SOMEONE STOLE MY STUFF.) Continue reading
Preschool pickup could have gone better today. Read ahead at your own risk.
I got the day’s rundown when I went to sign the boys out. “Destroy’s in a pull-up because he asked for one to poop in.” Hey! That’s great! Smooth sailing sign out and just another day for the books.
If only that were the end. Continue reading
Yes. Yes I was *that* mom in Target.
With two trantruming twins impressively flinging themselves about. The cart carrying them, with wheels already off-kilter, jerking in unnatural directions. Continue reading
Did you know I actually work with Clinton from AlliOSNews in my real life? Yup. But he lives in the U.K. I live in Silicon Valley (the motherland (Steveland?) of the Infinite Apple Loop cult). And a couple weeks ago, Clinton visited us yankees during a business trip to our company’s corporate headquarters.
To properly integrate him back into stateside culture, we took Clinton to a baseball game, and later in the week – we dined at the hotspot of overindulgence largesse, The Cheesecake Factory. (Bazinga!) Continue reading
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August is National Breastfeeding Month (or so my Facebook tells me) so I thought what better than to titillate you with a post about boobs. (Pun totally intended.)
Boobs. Let’s face it, they’re a subject adored by many. Including, apparently, my darling tot who’s taken to reading the catalog at an early age. Continue reading
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Out of the Mouths of Babes
Happy Friday. It’s time for the latest installment of the honest truth – toddler style. Continue reading →
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