Out of the Mouths of Babes


Happy Friday. It’s time for the latest installment of the honest truth – toddler style.

Search: Mommy doesn’t have brown eyes. Mommy has weird eyes.
(Green. My eyes are green, kid.)

Me: No splashing.
Destroy: That was Mater.
Me: Haha, I’m pretty sure you just splashed your toy in the tub.
Destroy: Um…no, that was Mater.

Search: Is that Jesus?
Me: No sweetie, that’s Charlie Brown.

Me: Did the Lizard Lady come to your school today?
Destroy: Yeah, there was a snake that went sssssss.
Me: Did you see lizards?
Destroy: It was scary.
Me: Was there a giraffe?
Destroy: No mom…A giraffe wouldn’t fit in the classroom.

Me: C’mon sweetie, time for bed.
Destroy: <saluting> NOT TODAY. SIR!

Jon: <opens bedroom door>
Search: No. I still sleeping.

Destroy: PISSED OFF. Mommy, pissed off.
Me: OMG. I know I get cranky, but how does he know?!
Me: Ohhh. Pit Stop. Like Guido from Cars.

Jon: Do. Not. Do. That.
Me: Strike 1 kid.
Jon: And do you know how many strikes you get?
Destroy: Yellow.

Destroy: <yelling from his bedroom> Umm…there’s poop everywhere!

Destroy: <picking up toy> Is this a grasshopper?
Me: No. It’s a monster/gargoyle.
Nana: I’m never going in your yard.

Jon: You guys are going to go visit GrammaJ and Papa.
Search: YAY! Are we going to DisneyTown?

Jon: OW! We do NOT throw tractors!
Search: It’s okay. This a bulldozer.

Search: I need more rice and beans.
Me: We don’t have anymore. They’re all gone. In your tummy.
Search: Then we need go get some more. At the store.

Destroy: I must run! … … … I’M BATMAN!

Search: Why do we need to put away all our toys? Is the housekeeper coming?

Search: Mommy, are you proud of me?
Me: Oh honey! Yes! I’m very proud of you little muppet!
Search: I pooped.


Filed under Seriously?

4 Responses to Out of the Mouths of Babes

  1. Gramma J

    These are always so funny!

  2. Joanne Hamann

    Great stuff! My favorite is putting all the toys away because the housekeeper might be coming!

  3. Nancy Welker Caracciolo

    Once again you rescued a dour Friday morning – thanks. Aunt J, I too appreciate the housekeeper comment. My fav is Pissed off ~ Pit Stop.

  4. I think my son has actually said the one about Batman several times.

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