Weâ€™re working on the ABCs with the muppets. As you can see, weâ€™re missing some. But weâ€™re moving forward â€“ and itâ€™s part of the ongoing curriculum at school.
Hey! Thereâ€™s a teaching moment right there is for all the types of parents one may encounter at drop-off.
A is for Anxiety Mom
Jittery and heart-racing, they have no idea what theyâ€™re doing when it comes to this parenting thing. And oh god, theyâ€™re so panicked theyâ€™re going to screw it up.
B is for Blogging Mom
Every move is a potential story; entire lives are being blogged.
C is for Coffee Mom
Even her kids know the Starbucks menu. Decaf for the little one and a latte for mom.
D is for Disheveled Mom
Her hair has a mind of its own. She may or may not have remembered to swap out slippers for shoes. And sheâ€™ll probably need to readjust the drawstring on her sweats at some point in the parking lot.
E is for Exhausted Mom
EveryMom. Up late, up early â€“ mind always racing. Sheâ€™s bringing dark circles back into fashion.
F is for Frazzled Mom
What day is it? She probably forgot her kidsâ€™ breakfast. Again. Sheâ€™ll even show up on days that she didnâ€™t have pick-up.
G is for Guilty Mom
Shoulda, coulda, really really wanted to do better. She always looks like sheâ€™s second-guessing every child-rearing decision.
H is for Hypochondriac Mom
Sheâ€™s the one who will spray you down with hand-sanitizer if you so much as clear your throat in her direction.
I is for Ice Queen Mom
Permanent â€œBitchy Resting Faceâ€ and only a quick simple acknowledgement when you pass her. Get in. Get out.
J is for Judgmental Mom
Yup, sheâ€™s looking at you with judgey eyes â€“ anything from your sports team allegiance to a fellow parent who just parked in the handicapped spot.
K is for Killer Mom
Spiders donâ€™t stand a chance. Apologies for the accidental snailcide.
L is for Late Mom
â€œLetâ€™s go, already!â€
M is for Mom of Multiples
Theyâ€™re the ones repeating everything at least twice. â€œDonâ€™t hit your brother. Do. Not. Hit. Brother!â€
N is for New Mom
This is the mom looking slightly shell-shocked that small people depend on her.
O is for Obsessive Mom
Sheâ€™s got the class schedule memorized. Do not, I repeat, do not mess with the schedule.
P is for Potty Training Mom
P is for pee. And poop. And Pampers. And prayers. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE THE POTTY!
Q is for Quixotic Mom
Her children are going to change the world. Her ideas will make a difference. (Just as soon as they figure out the potty thing.)
R is for Resourceful Mom
They say necessity is the mother of invention. She often believes motherhood is the necessity for invention.
S is for Super Mom
Shitâ€™s gotta get done. And sheâ€™s on a mission.
T is for Teacher Mom
Sheâ€™s got all kinds of innovative ideas on how to impart a love of education unto her offspring. (Like A-Z lists.)
U is for Unsure Mom
She has absolutely no idea what sheâ€™s doing. And often looks a bit bewildered.
V is for Volunteer Mom
Itâ€™s likely the reason for the MomMobile â€“ gotta have room for future equipment. (And also blankets for tiny ones.)
W is for Working Mom
Heels, skirt and blouse, sheâ€™s shepherding the little ones into class for an 8-5 meeting.
X is for Xenophile Mom
Foreign foods and maybe even family on another continent.
Y is for Yoga Mom
Well, the pants anyway.
Z is for Zombie Mom
Brains. This world really needs far more of them.
But thatâ€™s just meâ€¦ What types of parents do you see in the pickup parade? And what about you dads?