The Incident (or Baby’s First Emergency Room Visit)

It took three and a half years. We experienced our first Emergency Room visit.

Ok, technically it’s only been three years due to that whole extended hospital stay and resulting paranoid ER runs due to a wheezy case of the sniffles. (Which I steadfastly maintain is actually prudent preemie preservation.)

But we made our first injury related ER visit.

I really thought the story would be more adventurous.

It started out as a typical Tuesday morning. Neither muppet wanted to get out of bed, pull-ups had already been peed in. Whining ensued over the lack of a freshly laundered Choo Choo shirt. But finally, with much cajoling and the promise of crackers, Search and Destroy were mostly clothed, shod, and ready for preschool.

Destroy descended the stairs first. Search followed.

As I rounded the doorway of my bedroom, and with Jon prepared to escort the boys to school, I heard the clattering thunk.

The wail came a nanosecond later.

Search fell down the stairs.

It started with a slip. His feet went out from beneath him. He landed on his bottom and slid a few steps. Then he tumbled – summersaulting several times in an impressive gymnastic exhibition.

The stairs at our house are the result of an addition designed by owners past. They are steep, narrow and totally not to code. (We were smart enough to add a carpet runner to soften such inevitable slipups.)

For all the rough-housing and gravity defying stunts my sons constantly perform, I wasn’t expecting a simple misstep to be the hospital-worthy keystone excursion.

By the time Jon and I reached the boy at the bottom of the stairs, a goose egg the size of a small soccer ball was prominently protruding directly above Search’s right eye.

It wasn’t pretty.

Even Destroy began clinging to my leg out of concern for the unexpected morning chaos.

There was no loss of consciousness, his pupils reacted with constriction when exposed to direct light stimuli. He wasn’t confused or sleepy. He wasn’t happy by any stretch of the imagination, but he seemed just fine.

Still, head wounds aren’t something I feel benefit from a “wait and see” approach.

So instead of going to bed after working an all-night gig, Jon and Search went on an adventure to the local emergency room. (Luckily Tuesday morning isn’t known for being rush hour in the ER.)

The doc checked the little man out and requested he follow several simple instructions. Search demurred. (Obviously this proved there was no change to his personality and he was fine.) Alas the doc refused to discharge him until he acquiesced, which he ultimately did – wholly half-heartedly.

Cleared for full duty, it was off to join his brother at school.

Just in time for a prospective family tour to come through and observe the preschool classes to see if our little school was a fit for their precious darling.

“Oh my god! Did that happen at school?” queried a very concerned parent.

Way to make an impression, kid. Here’s hoping that family chooses to enroll their daughter in your class. Chicks do dig the tough guys.