November 9, 2011 · 1:28 am

The Hat Trick

Well, I walked right into that one. I posted on Facebook this morning,

“Dear Muppets,
2 days, 2 incident reports. Can we at least attempt to avoid the trifecta?
Love, Mom.”

My bad.

We hit the trifecta. At least it’s dispersed between children?

At 5:30 p.m., I flipped open the attendance book to sign the muppets out for the evening. And sure as sin – a large paperclip secured a folded white “Incident Report” atop Search’s name.

Friday: Incident Report #1.
Search bites Destroy during lunch. At least we’re keeping it all in the family? And to be fair, it was lunchtime – perhaps he mistook Destroy’s chubby little finger for a carrot.

Monday: Incident Report #2.
Destroy climbs, falls. I know – shocking. Destroy climbing? Apparently he scaled a step but tipped off the edge and smacked his little head on the air conditioning unit. He was treated with ice and love. Part of me wonders if the little rascal has figured out all the hugs and cuddles he’ll get for the low low price of a few crocodile tears.

Tuesday: Incident Report #3.
The biter’s back. One of Search’s classmates liberated a toy he was playing with. As is his current phase, he lunged and bit him. He was promptly reprimanded by one of his teachers. At which time, he squealed and bit his teacher.

I sighed and signed the incident report. Another one of their teachers came around the corner, the muppets two little footballs – one under each arm. Destroy was giggling and batting his long little lashes at his favorite teacher. Search had a mischievous smirk on his face.

“Search…” I began.

“Yeah…” said his teacher.

“Hehehe…” cackled Search.

Let’s add another line to the growing list of Things I Never Thought I’d Say. Do not eat your teacher.

What I have mentioned before is that I would really like my children to not have an expulsion on their permanent record before the age of 2.

I texted Jon. “Your son bit the teacher.”

“No. That would be YOUR son,” he replied. “My son is a good boy.”

Karma’s a bitch.

How did you did you deal with biting in your little ones? And no, I’m not biting back.

I will leave you to ponder that while I try to encourage Search to eat, and not snort, his chicken salad. Even if that is precisely what he *should* be using his sharp little chompers on.

 

8 Comments

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8 Responses to The Hat Trick

  1. Gramma J
    November 9, 2011 at 6:46 am

    Once he starts talking more, some of that frustration will be relieved. A strong “NO” coupled with redirecting his behavior. Should be a “phase”.
    Maybe more sign language for him – what’s the sign for “I want that!” (clenched fists?)

  2. Gramma J
    November 9, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Since Search loves books, how about a story about Teeth are Not for Biting. There must be something published out there. If not, you could write it!

  5. Chelle
    November 9, 2011 at 8:37 am

    And why aren’t you biting back? I mean seriously, if you don’t draw blood but just nip him enough to let him know it hurts…um…never mind.

    I think we only had one incidence of biting and I think that he got bitten back by the other kid, so I am sorry that I can’t help you here.

    Massive timeout? Enforced nap every time he does it? Gag him before you drop him off? I’m just spit balling here. It’s been a long time since I had to deal with toddlers – can you tell?

  6. Joanne Hamann
    November 10, 2011 at 4:59 am

    Been there, done that – nothing really worked. Fortunately for us, it was a short phase. Sorry, I know, not much help!

  7. Gina C
    November 13, 2011 at 5:25 am

    When Wy was in the thick of the biting phase, it was hard. When I knew he was going for me, I’d quickly move his own hand/arm in place of mine and he bit himself. Sounds mean, but I read it in the Dr. sears book (which I love) and it actually worked. Granted I didn’t try this until AFTER he’d led a few scars ( literally). Good luck!!!!