Remember back when we were forced to deal with Social Security? I said they were a circus. I stand by my claim.
Let’s review. (Trust me, you’ll want to catch up – if only for the humor of the situation. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)
Annnd, two years later – we’re back in the game! Where did we last leave off? Ah yes.
Did you miss me?
I had every intention of writing a wonderfully witty diatribe for you last night, but alas – the lure of the cool tiles on the bathroom floor were too enticing. That, and writing would have required me to extract myself from the oh-so-comfortable fetal position I’d curled myself into. Continue reading
Well. We’re all home for the funeral. The service. The gathering. To mourn our dearly departed. I’m not sure what I expected. This wasn’t it.
To begin with, the women in my gene pool aren’t exactly what you’d call “night owls.” AuntJ looked like she’d just spent a month with colicky infants when we met at the airport – at the midnight witching hour of 10 p.m. (Granted, that is my bedtime too.) Continue reading
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
I know. The holidays are over. (I’m looking at you house on my street that still has Christmas lights up. Those needed to be taken down weeks ago.) But. Well. See – my grandma passed away this week. I’m not going to winecone that because I actually do understand the ($#*&#@!) circle of life concept. Continue reading
Comments Off on Wineconed Wednesday – Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Winifred Anne Welker Ahern
July 27, 1925 – January 22, 2012
As the Year of the Dragon commences, Grandma Winnie has left our world – turning control of our family to her own Dragon daughter. Continue reading
Musicality is embedded in my genes. My grandfather was a Big Band guitarist. My cousin is a budding saxophoning phenom. I played piano and fancied myself a budding composer until retiring as a starving artist in fifth grade when Mrs. Soyster moved to San Francisco.
Tangent: Isn’t every child forced to take piano lessons until age 10? In other news, we have a piano in our house now. And both a right- and left-handed guitar – electric and acoustic. And I bought a drum set for my friend’s 2-year old (because being on hospital lockdown makes you find odd ways of amusing yourself do crazy things). Surprisingly, she still talks to me. But I digress… Continue reading
Disney Wicki
Me: Can I have a hug?
Search: No. <Eye roll. Puts nose back in book.>
Me: Want me to read you a story?
Search: No. <Eye roll. Puts nose back in book.>
Me: <Using my mom voice.> Destroy Anthony! Get off of that table. We do not scale coffee tables. Get down. <Destroy begins wailing.>
Search: Uh oh…<Cackle.>
Me: Can you show brother how to go down the slide?
Search: No. <Runs over to slide. Dives down slide head first.> NOOO!
Me: Are you ready for bed? Do you want to go night night?
Search: No. <Scampers over to stairs and starts climbing.>
Me: I thought you said “No.”
Search: No ni ni! <Sticks thumb confidently in mouth. Curls up into little ball.>
Jon: Wow. He really is COMPLETELY your child.
Search: <Sly smirk. Giggle. Cackle.> EhhhhhhOliana dodoh bababah mo mymo MIKEWAZOWSKI!
Me: He totally said Mike Wazowski!
Jon: I really don’t understand you…
US Weekly
Tuesday night was another frantic muppet caper. I closed down my cubicle at work and ran for the hills – also known as driving across the Silicon Valley at high speeds to pick up the boys on time.
Search and Destroy greeted me at the pickup gate with giant grins and outstretched arms. Who could resist such heart-meltyness. I hugged them both. In my white blouse. After their afternoon snacktime. Which happened to be blackberries.
This may explain Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Golden Globes outfit… Continue reading
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
And don’t hesitate to check out the other awesome sites who participated this week – CubicleViews and Cajun Asian Chronicles. It’s all about the link love here people. Plus, they’re funny as all get out.
Comments Off on Wineconed Wednesday – Wine and Whiskey Edition
Oh. My. God.
Muppet geeks can get their kicks a little greener this fall, as adidas releases its new Superstar II sneaker inspired by Kermit the Frog, the Muppets most visible front man. The Kermit the Frog – Adidas Superstar II shoes feature a white leather and patent upper, with a white toe box and green rubber outsole. Running along one of the green leather stripes are the words “The Original Hip Hop.” The shoe’s tongue hangs a version of Kermit’s fringed collar. Continue reading
Comments Off on Muppet Shoes (Surprisingly Not a Metaphor)
