According to results of a study released today, women with a history of migraines are up to 41 percent more likely to develop depression than those lucky enough to avoid the plague of debilitating headaches. Continue reading
Wineconed Wednesday – Ash Wednesday Edition
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
Ash Wednesday. Also known as that day when you do a double take at all the people wandering around and refrain from gesturing at your forehead and saying, “Hey, um, you got smudgey stuff.” Continue reading
The Hunger Games – or Why My Paycheck is Direct Deposit Straight to Costco
SEARCH AND DESTROY ALL THE FOOD STUFFS!
The muppets can Pack. It. Down. Here is a sampling of our weekend menu. (As a reminder, Destroy weighs 28 pounds; Search is 23.) I do not know where they are putting it. Continue reading
The Great Cooper Caper
We have dogs. Two of them. A yellow one and a black one.
Remember the 90s cartoon “Pinky and the Brain”? Genetically engineered mice – one brilliant and sly, scheming for world domination. The other desperate to be loved, but may have missed a few days when intelligence was being handed out. Their standard dialogue:
Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!
I’ve Got an Idea
I’ve got lots of ideas.
And I keep coming up with more. I won’t hold back on you – I think my ideas are pretty swell. Continue reading
Supermom
I am, I am, I am Superman and I know what’s happening.
I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything.
I went to lunch with a friend recently. “Holy shit, you’re wearing real clothes!” 90% of the time I see you, you’re in ratty sweatpants with barf/poo stained t-shirt or sweatshirt,” he exclaimed. Continue reading
Redbook – Things Never to Say To a Woman at 6 a.m.
STOP THE PRESSES! (Actually, don’t stop – since they’re presently printing me.)
Drop everything and go find a copy of Redbook Magazine – March 2012 edition! RIGHT NOW. I’ll wait. (You’re looking for page 19.)
My first piece in a nationally syndicated magazine has just hit newsstands. And our words are about to be seen by a circulation of 2.2 million people. Thanks peeps! Couldn’t have been so snarky without you.
Oh. My. God. Continue reading
Wineconed Wednesday – St. Valentine Edition
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
St. Valentine was eventually imprisoned, beaten, stoned and ultimately beheaded. They don’t tell you that on the shmoopy Hallmark cards. Continue reading
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My Funny Valentine
Valentine’s Day. And I had not one, but TWO fantabulous dates.
5:57 p.m.: Our dinner date begins. Continue reading
Why My Kids Will One Day Tell Their Therapist Mommy Never Loved Them
Happy Valentine’s Day.
This holiday isn’t really my cup of tea. Sweethearts taste like chalk and the over-abundance of cherry-flavored lollipops remind me of children’s medicine. Overpriced wilted roses and an exorbitantly priced prix-fixe menu with funny foods I don’t understand. (Give me a summer ballgame with a Dodger dog any day.)
I mean really, a day should not have so much pressure attached to it – especially when it doesn’t even come with a day off work! I do like the chocolate though. I would be happy to share yours. Continue reading