Imaginative Lives of Others

The muppets had energy oozing out of their pores. So we decided to go for a family hike.

Two hours. Two miles. But fear not future park patrons! Nary a rock remains on any part of the dirt trail we canvassed this afternoon. (Back at our homestead, our washing machine began quaking across the garage in anticipatory fear of the quarry bounty now stored in all the tiny pockets.) Continue reading

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Multiple Choice

School’s back in session. The clean crisp notebooks are just beginning to show stress on those wire binds. The intoxicating scent of ink bleeding into the pulpy pages still emanates every time you hear that magical crack of a textbook spine. And Bic has even made a special pen – just for my fairer sex! (Oh read the comments. You won’t be disappointed.

What’s that? Kids these days don’t take pen to paper and read Chapters 1-3 of the state approved textbook (copyright 1992)? GET OFF MY LAWN.

It’s Friday. And when I was a young whippersnapper, that generally meant a pop quiz. Inconceivable! Continue reading

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TechMom Tuesday: Mirror Mirror on the Wall – Who’s the Favoritist of Them All?

I know it’s Wednesday here – but yesterday was Tuesday. So I was hanging out over at AlliOSNews – sharing my techie thoughts for the monthly TechMom Tuesday installment.

Enjoy. Continue reading

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The Happiest Place on Earth (Except for Mile 12 When You Hate Everyone)

*Disclaimer. The clock time in that Mile 12 photo is the actual race time. Not my time. Subtract 45 minutes for my time. Because I started the race in corral F. And we had to wait for A-E to go first. Clearly they were slow.

At 9:30 a.m. yesterday morning I reflected upon my day. I had already run 13.1 miles.

“Why?” inquired a concerned cousin. “Were you in grave danger?”

Continue reading

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Run for Your Life

August is drawing to a close. Summer is fading into the sunset as the dark arrives earlier with every coming night. So with the last vestiges of hot summer nights, I decided to go for a run.

About six months ago, I was momentarily overcome by insanity and decided to sign up for the Disney Half Marathon. It’s Sunday. Continue reading

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Anatomy of a Toddler Temper Tantrum

“Doggie eats poop,” announced a very awake muppet. This was going to be a long night.

After two hours of chasing tail (haha), summersaults and “Hey Mommy! Watch This!” the witching hour grew nigh.

Bedtime.

Destroy was displeased with this development. Continue reading

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Starfish Swim School and the Five Points of Panic

The boys are learning to swim. They’ve been water babies since their first dunking in the NICU tub (which was the size of a legal pad of paper). Destroy has recently taken to attempting the breaststroke in the bathtub (when not soaking everything and everyone in his hurricane path). Legend has it, Search turned down popsicles in Summer School in favor of water play.

So naturally, being mother of the year, Safety First!

Our budding little Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte got signed up for swim lessons. Continue reading

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Baseball Is Simply A Nervous Breakdown Divided Into Nine Innings

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
~Dave Barry (on the perils of motherhood.)

The muppets have been learning the concept of t-ball over the past several weeks. Or, more accurately, taking a primary-colored plastic bat larger than the small children wielding it, and gently tapping the foam ball from atop its primary-colored perch. Continue reading

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One and Done

 

The following is an actual conversation that occurred in checkout lane 4 at my local Safeway. Seriously. Continue reading

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How Did Your Blog Get Its Name?

One of the most common questions posed during my recent New York adventure was, “How did your blog get its name?”

The title of a blog is your first introduction – it can be simply a name or a reflection of the theme within. By design, a blog is often named before the content even begins flowing. Because we need a place to call home for the future of our words. Continue reading

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