Wineconed Wednesday – Springtime for Everyone Edition

Happy Vernal Equinox! In the Northern Hemisphere winter officially ended at 3:14 a.m. PT yesterday. Spring is here y’all!

Sunshine and the heat rebounding off the pavement. The smells of wisteria and jasmine floating overhead. Freshly cut grass and the sound of cleats on concrete. Oh yeah. I’ve got spring fever. Bad.

So of course it’s raining in California. Dear Mother Nature, you’re doing it wrong.

We had a brilliant performance in the preschool parking lot this afternoon. I took my keys (MY keys) away from Search. (I know. It was silly. It was the end of the day and I simply wanted to use the aforementioned keys to drive the mom-mobile home.) He was not pleased.

“Major Muppet Meltdown: Exorcist Demon Possessed Tantrum in the Preschool Parking Lot.” We’ll be here all week, folks. Well – unless they tell us we can’t come back. Complete with crocodile tears and flailing muppet arms. Kid clearly has a future in the theatre. (Like mother, like son.) The terrible twos have arrived. Where. Is. My. Wine.


8-hour meetings. A corporate policy banning social chat sites and blogs. Let’s hurry these presentations up. Let my people go!

Editor’s note: I’m pretty sure that’s against the eighth amendment. No outside communication! Cage the animals! That will make them innovative and motivative. (That is totally a word now.) You know what creates creativity? WINE! Also, the powers that me may take not when you start firing communicative winecones at their pointy heads. Just sayin…


Winecone upon powerful individuals who continue to try and crush the small, weak and defenseless.

Editor’s note: Well that’s just not nice. You know they say the meek shall inherit. “You know the book doesn’t lie. It’s not a question of merit. It’s not demand and supply. They say the meek gonna get it. And you’re a meek little guy. You know the meek are gonna get what’s comin’ to ’em. By and by…”


City of San Jose and Safeway, this one’s for you. First off – esteemed city leaders, I hate the plastic shopping bag ban. Yeah I get the ecological reasons, but it’s a royal PITA….hate it. Safeway, your turn now. I now need to remember my eco-friendly bags every time I set foot in your store. And, apparently since you aren’t staffing enough baggers, I actually have to bag my own freaking groceries.

Know what’s amazing? How much stuff you can fit into 3 reusable bags if you have to. And, to what ends you’ll go to so as to not have to buy a $0.10 bag even when spending $200 in groceries. It’s the principle dammit! – Cubicle Views

Editor’s note: Heyyy – you’re in my neck of the woods. You know what you can seriously stack in those reusable bags? Wine. Although, now that you mention it, I’m really intrigued to see what would happen if you took out a line of the esteemed city leaders with winecones. Do you think the whole of city hall would lift off like Up with the amount of bureaucratic hot air released? I’ll even give you a bagful, free.

Bring on the sexy. Need a little pick-me-up in your day? Check out Elle’s sexy post. You’re welcome.

And a kiss to those who love us completely unconditionally. Our four-legged friends. I am very much looking forward to my dinner date with my yellow dog this week. (And I am not making this up. I actually have one.)

Hey – you guys – all of you who share your winecones. A smackaroo out to all of you, be you anonymous or not. Happy to help soothe your woes. (And get everyone else laughing.)


‘Till next week, winecones and kisses!

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at or and we’ll add yours next week!

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