Why Little Ones are Like Leprechauns

Leprechauns are mythical creatures.
Getting pregnant is a miracle. It requires a lot of drugs. I hear people on drugs see mythical creatures.

Leprechauns are no taller than a small child.
Little ones ARE small children.

Leprechauns enjoy partaking in mischief.
You may solemnly swear your little ones are up to no good.

Leprechauns are hard to catch.
Tell a toddler he needs his diaper changed or that it’s time for bed. Now try and catch him. I’ll wait. It’ll be a while.

Leprechauns spend all their time busily storing all their gold coins in a pot at the end of the rainbow.
Little ones spend all their time putting blocks in the bucket and then dumping the bucket of blocks out over their head.

Leprechauns are musicians known to have wild music sessions.
Dance! Dance! Little ones rock out to Itsy Bitsy Spider and Mumford and Sons. They’re rockstars in training.

Leprechauns are fond of drinking moonshine.
Little ones are fond of drinking milk.

A Leprechaun will leave a trail of gold and/or green glitter.
Code Brown! isn’t always brown. Pediatricians get lots of calls inquiring, “Is his poop supposed to be green like this?” Also, poop sparkles after a toddler has spent the afternoon frolicking in glitter at daycare.

Leprechauns are smart, devious little things who will do anything to escape capture.
Little ones are presently contained in their cribs, chattering away in a language others cannot understand. “Brother? Brother? Brother? How can we bust outta this joint?” You can’t tell me you’ve never heard the evil laugh…

Leprechauns have the power to grant wishes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, have you grant me some sleep tonight.

You may end up being the luckiest person alive if you ever manage to catch a Leprechaun, but then again it could bring more trouble than you ever imagined.

Faerie or demon?
This is how you feel at 3 a.m.

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Filed under Holidays, Humor

One Response to Why Little Ones are Like Leprechauns

  1. Pingback: Today is a New Day | Stream of the Conscious

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