Winecone Wednesday – Lady Killer Edition

I went to pick up my little dudes from daycare today. It was an experience – to say the least.

I walked toward the play yard. A little blond girl yelled across the walkway, “Look Mommy! My Destroy’s mommy!” I reached the sandbox. A little blond girl threw her arms around Destroy before rushing her mom with another bear hug. I told the boys to say goodbye to their friends. Destroy pretty much copped a feel as he hugged his girlfriend goodbye.

Destroy melted down into toddler hysterics because I had the gall to suggest he use his chubby little legs to walk to the car. An (older) brunette (from the 3-year-class) charged up, cutting me off. “I have to kiss Destroy and make him feel better!” And she planted one on his little popsicle-stained lips.

Just remember boys: We do not date girls who’s Daddy’s have more guns than ours. I’m sensing a lot of future winecones here. (These days they’re just whineconing me.)

Apparently a winecone at me as I *allegedly* unfollowed/refollowed a slew of folks on the Twitter. <Hangs head in shame> I really like you all. I swear. Let me know if I didn’t refollow you (or if I should be following) in the first place.

And some smackaroos at my fellow Tic peeps. Follow Wednesday!

Also, I will now take my winecone for changing up the format this week. I’ll put it back. I promise.


I would like to throw a winecone at the pain of a broken heart, in the hopes that it goes away quicker knowing how much it hurts. On the flip side, a smackeroo to all the friends and family who remind you are a good person and loved.

Editor’s note: You know, I’ve always heard that wine heals all wounds. (Wait, maybe that was time – nah, that can’t be it.) A winecone at heartbreak for you. To be thrown with a glass of wine as you are surrounded by your friends and family.


The Bachelorette

Editor’s note: What?! You don’t believe it’s possible to find twu wuv (sound it out) on a reality TV show? Geez, next you’re going to tell me you don’t think any of those couples will last. It’s a mockery. Although I’ve never actually seen the show, I have a feeling it’s a lot more hilarious with wine. What? It’s not a comedy? Who knew. Would be funny if she gave a rose to the winners and wineconed the loser. (COPYRIGHTED! I’ll take my royalties care of A Nervous Tic thankyouverymuch.)


Winecone love. Also Smackaroo love.

Editor’s note: I’m sensing a theme here. But yes. The highest highs will bring you the lowest lows. Here’s to friendship.


Summer colds. Mine won’t go away no matter what medicine I throw at it. Know what I need? A fuckitall pill.

Editor’s note: Wow. You know what goes GREAT with fuckitall pills? Wine. But even our winecones can’t compete with the awesomeness of that particular medication you suggest. So a smackaroo to the warmth of the season, a glass of wine raised to you and…

‘Till next week, winecones and kisses!

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at or and we’ll add yours next week!

PS. This your first wineconing? Welcome. Grab a glass and click here for an explanation of what in name of Jeebus’ we’re talking about.


Filed under A Nervous Tic Motion, Wineconed Wednesdays

2 Responses to Winecone Wednesday – Lady Killer Edition

  1. I love winecone!! I can’t do wine anymore, but there are plenty of cones around. Freaking hilarious stuff here. Thanks!!

    • Thanks! I’ll even let you in on a secret. There are quite a few of our coners who don’t do wine. So pull up a chair, join in the camaraderie and fire when ready!

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