The Muppet Theory

There’s a new theory out there. One I think we can all relate to.

History has seen many famous psychologists: Descartes – the father of modern philosophy, Pavlov and his dogs, Maslow with his hierarchy of needs, Frued’s issues with his mother, identity-crisis Erikson, Jung and his introverted/extroverted personalities, Piaget’s studies of children, and now, Dahlia Lithwick.

The Mupppet Theory.

As humans, I would venture that we spend the majority of our days describing and assessing the people who surround us – usually in an attempt to figure out how to deal with them. (I also create little stories about who these peeps must be. Lookitme all amateur social psychologist.)

Last month Lithwick put forth another method of measurement. “Every one of us is either a Chaos Muppet or an Order Muppet.”

Chaos Muppets: out-of-control, emotional, volatile. They tend toward the blue and fuzzy. They make their way through life in a swirling maelstrom of food crumbs, small flaming objects, and the letter C.
(Cookie Monster, Ernie, Grover, Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Animal)

Order Muppets: neurotic, highly regimented, averse to surprises and may sport monstrously large eyebrows. They sometimes resent the responsibility of the world weighing on their felt shoulders, but they secretly revel in the knowledge that they keep the show running.
(Bert, Scooter, Sam the Eagle, Kermit the Frog)

As I write this, Search is sitting quietly in my lap, observing my posting progress. Destroy running the length of the hallway – flinging his boxes and books haphazardly about – while yelling his happy scream. “Ah! Ah! Ah!”

I think it’s pretty clear which category my sons presently fall into. I am raising one baby Kermit and a baby Animal.

I’m pretty sure Jon and I are both order muppets. Do not deviate from the schedule! If you’re not 10 minutes early you’re late!

And we all know I have my own special neurotic streak. And I do not like surprises. (Surprise! No third trimester for you!)

But we also exhibit quite the outer candy coating of chaos muppets. I’d show you a picture of Jon’s desk, but I can’t find it beneath the piles. And I’m in constant battle with the pile of laundry when I’m not trying to ignore the disaster that Hurricane Muppet has rained down upon my living room.

And my mommy brain often seems as scattered and chaotic as can be.

But sadly, the world is not all rainbows and unicorns. Jon and I may well share a muppet type. The Muppet Theory postulates that one can best determine their muppet type by comparing the contrasts with their partner. Order Muppets tend to pick Chaos Muppets for their life partners, “cookies notwithstanding.” Lithwick warns,

“And by all that is holy, don’t marry your same type if you can help it.
That’s where Baby Elmos come from.”

Oh god.

Perhaps it’s the dichotomy within each type that balances us out. And the reason we have one of each running amuck in our house.

What kind of muppet are you? Why?