You may have seen the “What I Do” meme floating around. I saw Professors, Stay-at-Home Moms, Stage Managers, IT peoples. But no PR. And if ever there was a profession where people give you blank stares, it’s mine.
So I made one.
The Lovely Miss Chicken
Because what world isn’t better when you have a rooster in glittery drag smiling back upon you? The Lovelies sent me Miss Chicken!
1998: Slightly uncertain teenagers, Auntie Beeca and I meet as roomates. Maureen co-opts our room as the honorary third roommate (tutoring calculus). Ivy lives next door. Our little Hawaiian, Julia, rounds out our 11th floor penthouse dorm. Beeca’s mom (Mom2) dubs us “The Lovelies.”
2003: A beautiful bouquet of flowers arrives at my office. And a small shipping box – containing Miss Chicken, a sparkling bedazzled drag rooster in fabulous purple leopard print heels. Continue reading
(Un)Helpful Parenting Advice
I still get nervous when I see the preschool principal calling. Destroy had a fever that had already spiked to 102. He needed to be picked up within the hour. It was one of those days.
His teacher carried Destroy around the corner. His head was listlessly lolled against her chest; his little face was flushed bright red. He certainly plays the sick man well. He looked up at me, and with sad toddler eyes, shared, “Ohhh no…” He hadn’t eaten his lunch. Destroy was definitely sick. Not eating let me know with unequivocal certainty that something was wrong. Continue reading
Book Review: The Weird Sisters
Disclaimer: This was a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own. (And yes, I was allowed to dislike the book. But I didn’t.)
“There is no problem a library card can’t solve.”
This was the back cover hook, and a philosophy with which I wholeheartedly agree. The book came in the mail. A small white package – with my name on it. My book club book had arrived. The Weird Sisters, by Eleanor Brown. Continue reading
Wineconed Wednesday – I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good Edition
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
I was perusing the interwebs this morning and saw this fabulous tidbit by Left in the Dark:
My 7yr old niece decided to have her Bday party today. Invited 30 kids over for a costume party and her mom found out when the doorbell rang. Apparently she had put a lot of thought into it because she had printed out invitations & everything. Did I mention it was a costume party? Her parents are freaking out because they’re convinced they are raising a con artist. I find it hilarious!
Color Coordinated Mortification – Mommy Style
Search and Destroy reporting for duty! Tonight’s target mission: mommy’s sanity.
I *thought* I was having a rather put together day. Productive even. I finished up part of the project I was working on and strolled on out of the office right on time. When I got to the preschool, I strutted across the parking lot – exuding confidence. Continue reading
An Evening Out
Remember back in the day when Friday nights were going out night? Getting all dolled up and heading out at 10 p.m. – to see what the night had to offer?
Yeah, me neither. In any case, I went out last night.
It was a long week. And I was hungry. So I proposed a date to the Outback, and was escorted by four fabulous Stream gentlemen. I gracefully clambered from the front of the Pilot into the back of the car to land clumsily take my place between the car seats. Upon arrival, Jon freed the boys from the child-lock secure doors and I (once again with the grace of a beautiful ballerina – at least in my head) twisted myself under the seats to slide out onto the asphalt. Continue reading
The Bell Curve of Development (or Mitch’s Bitches)
I got home late for dinner. “Hang on a sec – you’re impugning one of the bitches…” Uncle Mark was saying as I plopped into my seat.
Hey – I’m not one to judge. Who’s a bitch?
“My bitches,” said my 16-year-old cousin Mitch. Continue reading
Career Goals
Happy Bloggiversary to me! Stream of the Conscious turns 2 today.
Feb. 2, 2010, I announced to a readership of, well, me, that I was pregnant. This was going to be just one of the many “look at how cute my kid is” blogs with cheesy photos of a round me holding a onesie by my side at a baby shower. How droll.
Yeah. I didn’t see those plot twists coming either. Continue reading
Wineconed Wednesday – Wizards Duel Edition
Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!
“Madam, I have not disappeared. I am very tiny. I am a germ. A rare disease. I am called malignalitaloptereosis… and you’ve caught me, Mim!” – Sword in the Stone Continue reading