I wrote it all down. And then I deleted it. Because sometimes you just need a fresh start. Or ice cream. I’ve been clicking refresh for hours now. I think I’ve reached the end of the interwebs.
<Gasp> The world is flat and it’s 72 dpi. The game is up! Continue reading
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Sometimes, where words fail, music speaks. And the melodies are the memory.
It’s been three months since G.G. left us – I imagine her once again chasing rides in stylish cars and searching out the perfect tan at the water’s edge, while her once and again rock star pursues her. I miss her.
So on Saturday night, I got dolled up and headed out on the town. The Stan Kenton Alumni band was playing at Santa Clara – my own alma mater. (Ok, so the town was two miles down the road.) We were ready to take in some classic big band jazz. And relive the memories in the melody. Continue reading
Guess what I was doing two years ago today. No cheating. Wow. You totally just cheated.
But yes. We are going right back down this rabbit hole. And fair warning – we likely have many years ahead of us doing the exact same thing. So prepare to tuck and roll folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
Two years ago today I wandered the halls of a hospital looking for the Labor and Delivery unit. (Which, by the by, they hide on the top floor – that makes no sense.) They hooked me up to machines. And we waited. And then I was admitted. It didn’t look good.
I still vividly remember Dr. Meyer shaking his head at me. “Not viable.” He was not a doctor who gave me warm fuzzies.
It was April 22. I was 22 weeks pregnant. Continue reading
The day I post my review of Fragile Beginnings and I’m heading up north of THE CITY for a book reading and signing of “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by The Bloggess herself, Jenny Lawson.
Nerd alert!
That’s right. I got to meet The Bloggess. In person. And listen to her speak. Her New York and LA stops resulted in sold out books and standing room only crowds – so we took no chances and got there early. And also I was navigator in the car, so we had to leave early since it was assumed I would get us lost. (GPS: “Re-calculating. You. Moron.) Continue reading
Fragile Beginnings: Discoveries and Triumphs in the Newborn ICU is not an easy read.
Told from the perspective of Dr. Adam Wolfberg, both a perinatologist and preemie dad, the pages are filled with emotional triggers to send me back to my own NICU experience. His daughter, Larissa, was born at 26 weeks when her mother suddenly went into labor. She then suffered a Grade IV brain bleed. (Larissa, not her mom.)
Interspersed throughout the story are thick science discussions about the complex world of saving tiny babies – sometimes to the point of pushing Larissa’s story to the periphery. What can be done for them? How far has tiny baby care come in just a few short years? What are the lasting effects of extreme efforts to save a child? And when is it too much; is palliative care sometimes kinder – a question not of “can it be done,” but “should it be done.” Continue reading
“The Internet’s acting a little squirrelly,” Jon texted me yesterday afternoon.
By the time I got home, all the technology was askew. The Internet was down. So our VoIP didn’t work. And no cable to watch the baseball games. With only one tiny cell reception bar.
(AT&T – Less bars in more places. Because it’s not like I live in the heart of the Silicon Valley. Oh wait…)
Jon was at work. The boys were asleep. I felt so alone and isolated. Someone hold me? (Yeah. I know. I have an addiction.) Continue reading
A beautiful boy.
Gabriel James Elder. Meaning “hero of God.”
April 16, 2012 at 16:58 hours to parents Jennifer and Ryan and big brothers Michael and Brady Elder.
4 pounds. 11.5 ounces. 18.5 inches.
Heaven’s newest angel. Continue reading
Today’s winecones lack their usual hijinks and hilarity. Because some things are never ok. And sometimes it’s the silent ones who have the loudest voices.
Northern California had a very tragic weekend as far as domestic violence is concerned. Four people lost their lives – separate murder/suicides – and two toddlers were found wandering around, confused but still unaware of how their little lives have now been forever scarred by violence. Continue reading
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I just finished cleaning the house. So that sucked.
The housekeepers are coming tomorrow so I had to clean up first. I know. It sounds counter-intuitive. But I don’t do bathrooms. Oh, who are we kidding. I don’t clean any of the things.
Technically, Jon cleaned the whole house. I was responsible for the living room. For the record, this is a bigger task that it may seem. It is also impossible to clean the living room until after the muppets go to bed because of their superhero powers to spread the remnants of the whirling dervish known as Hurricane Muppet twofold for every item put back in its place. Continue reading
Much like Scout the big black dog, Destroy collected all the shoes this morning.When his little arms were full, he toddled toward me chanting, “Shoe! Shoe! Shoe!”
In what I thought was a standard assumption, I took the shoes he offered out of his hands – promising we’d put them on just as soon as he put his pants on. This was not a popular decision with a certain toddler prone to tantrums thrown with dramatic flare.
He flung himself to the floor, flopping around like a floundering fish, moaning and wailing in a terrifically awesome muppet meltdown. “SHOOOOOEESSS,” he screamed amid his sobs and distinctly unhappy wiggles. Continue reading
