Spring Cleaning (or THROW AWAY ALL THE THINGS!)

I just finished cleaning the house. So that sucked.

The housekeepers are coming tomorrow so I had to clean up first. I know. It sounds counter-intuitive. But I don’t do bathrooms. Oh, who are we kidding. I don’t clean any of the things.

Technically, Jon cleaned the whole house. I was responsible for the living room. For the record, this is a bigger task that it may seem. It is also impossible to clean the living room until after the muppets go to bed because of their superhero powers to spread the remnants of the whirling dervish known as Hurricane Muppet twofold for every item put back in its place.

But I admit, I have often shirked my responsibilities – long before the muppets were even a twinkle reflecting off of Mr. Clean’s shiny head. Which is why we hired a housekeeper. It’s cheaper than marriage counseling. Except now we have to clean up before they come. So that didn’t really align with the original vision in my head.

Also, Spring Cleaning is coming. THROW AWAY ALL THE THINGS.

In Santa Clara, Spring Cleaning is an actual day – not just a method of procrastination. Households are invited to pile junk curbside and then a large truck comes down the street and bulldozes whatever the scavengers haven’t already picked over.

I am not a hoarder. Just the opposite. Quoth my husband, “Dammit Tricia, if it’s not nailed down you throw it away.” (To be fair, most of that did *look* like paper scraps. Just sayin’…)

And fitting right in with Spring Cleaning is the brilliant idea to redo, redesign and implement ideas!

Remember my New Year’s resolution? Well, Jon has indeed banned me from Home Depot – but I did redecorate the bedroom in the process! The opening picture is my fancy new four-poster bed. (We’ve been together two years now. I felt it was time to show you my bedroom.)

Of course, now I want to redo the office. I at least want to take my office back – the office and the Harry Potter closet under the stairs. THROW ALL THE THINGS AWAY! (They’re not nailed down…)


Clean out the office. Design a stylish comfy new home office. (Just think of the quality stories I could tell you from my swanky new computer alcove.) Clean out the closet. Turn it into a server room. I think Harry would approve of the room beneath the stairs ultimately being used for the magic of technology.

And you know, the previous owners of my house left architecture plans behind to build out a laundry room. Ohh, do I fantasize about a laundry room and a car in the garage – neither of which befouled by dog pee.

(To see more images of my favorite home remodel porn, feel free to peruse my Pinterest page. Reading nooks, polka dotted washers and wisteria in bloom, oh my!)

Oddly enough, Jon seems less than thrilled with my brilliant architectural plans. I know! I’m just as shocked as you are.

I am reminded of a friend who, with a glass of wine secured in one hand, tore up the floor in her bathroom. “We’re updating honey!” she announced when her husband returned home.

Jon is going out of town soon. Hmmm, maybe that Harry Potter closet will become the server room after all. Who’s with me?!

(And more importantly, who is coming over to help me do the actual work?)


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3 Responses to Spring Cleaning (or THROW AWAY ALL THE THINGS!)

  1. Joanne Hamann

    All I have to say is it must be genetic. Dad would be furious with mom for throwing things away, I trash countless pieces of paper when Mark is out of town and I ALWAYS have to clean before the housekeeper cleans 🙂 Fun times…

  2. Gramma J

    I still don’t have a laundry room. Sigh

  3. Cleaning the house for the house cleaner to come…there’s not much more that pisses me off than that. OK in reality there’s lots but that pisses me off something fierce.

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