Winecone Wednesday – Goodbye Earl Edition

Today’s winecones lack their usual hijinks and hilarity. Because some things are never ok. And sometimes it’s the silent ones who have the loudest voices.

Northern California had a very tragic weekend as far as domestic violence is concerned. Four people lost their lives – separate murder/suicides – and two toddlers were found wandering around, confused but still unaware of how their little lives have now been forever scarred by violence.

Our very own Elle, editor-in-chief of A Nervous Tic Motion, is one of the lucky ones who was able to escape this circle of violence. And she was brave enough to raise her voice. I wish I could throw one swiftly targeted winecone signifying only that Earl’s in the trunk.


I throw a winecone at the general concept of coercive control. At the men and women who lose control, lose power, and with that loss become utterly destructive. They commit the ultimate acts of selfishness: they kill their intimate partners and sometimes themselves.

In particular, I throw a winecone at James Mitchell. He walked right through a restraining order and in a fit of rage, bludgeoned to death his daughter’s mother, a friend from my youth, with a metal bat – on the child’s first birthday, with the child sitting there. And with her mother’s blood covering her, he violently snatched the child and attempted to flee.

He was caught, tried and convicted. So now his child, who is approaching her 4th birthday and the 3rd anniversary of her mother’s death, will never know either of her parents; her birthday will forever and always be the anniversary that her mother was violently killed. And all because he lost control.

A Nervous Tic staff note: When faced with the knowledge that someone you care about has been hurt, there is nothing to say, and no amount of winecones to throw, that can make it go away or be better in anyway. Please know, no matter who you are, you’ve got people in your corner. People armed with winecones, love and support – ready to help you escape, even if it involves removing your problem and purchasing the industrial cleaning supplies necessary to make sure it can’t be traced. Consider Wanda with winecones.

Abuse is never ok and it can be deadly. But there are places you can turn to for help. A smackaroo to the networks of safe havens. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24-hour support through advocacy, safety planning, resources and hope to everyone affected by domestic violence.

So with a smackaroo to Elle for sharing her story, and a kiss to all survivors, we have one last winecone to throw today.

All of us at A Nervous Tic Motion are throwing a winecone at domestic violence, in the form of a donation to NextDoor, which provides prevention and intervention in Santa Clara County. May this winecone shatter some semblance of the silence.

‘Till next week, winecones and kisses!

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at or and we’ll add yours next week!

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