In honor of Halloween, today’s Motherhood Uncovered post celebrates (freaks out about) the things we fear. Boo!
My recurring nightmare is back with a vengeance.
I’m at school – usually the corridors of high school, but occasionally college if my subconscious wants to change things up a bit. I’ve missed most of the semester for one particular class. I know I’m going to fail. If I fail, I won’t graduate. If I don’t graduate, I’ll likely lose my job. Why didn’t I just go to the blasted class?! Everyone is going to find out that I’m just a phony.
This plotline has played out in various scenarios throughout my nights for decades now.
My daymare is slightly different. It’s any variable on the phrase, “Can I speak with you for a minute?” My heartrate spikes, my blood pressure plummets, my palms are sweaty, my knees are week. I can feel my pulse throbbing in my temples. And worst of all – I can’t pinch myself awake. I’m certain I’m likely about to lose my job. Everyone is going to find out that I’m just a phony.
As a child, my fears were much simpler. I dreamt I was abducted by a green van. To solve this all-encompassing terror, I came to the conclusion that no green vehicles could be trusted and I should always fall asleep on my right side. (It made sense at the time, but just to be safe I still insist on falling asleep facing right.)
Also, I was terrified the house would go up in flames. If only I could stay awake, the house wouldn’t burn down.
Since I was never big on the spooky stories told at childhood slumber parties (and I still can’t watch scary movies), I thought I’d inquire about some other terrifying frightful spooky scary thoughts to send shivers down our spine this Halloween?
So I asked, “What childhood fears did you/your kids/followers have?”
- Slumber parties: They do tell spooky stories. I still don’t like those.
- Clowns: A common theme. My very first job was as Gymbo the Clown. Kids are right. Clowns are scary; I was paid to traumatize children with songs and facepaint – don’t worry, I wasn’t paid much.
- Claustrophobic: Tiny people and tiny spaces don’t mix.
- Roger Rabbit: Clearly a creepy cartoon. Don’t you remember that acid?
- The sound the garbage bag makes when you shake it to open it up: Wow. Some kids really despise chores…Don’t want to take out the trash. Do. Not. Want!
- E.T. and the Wicked Witch of the West: I’ll get you my pretty! And your Reeces Pieces, too!
- Flowers: (“Apparently my mum (seamstress) used to place fake flowers all around her material so he’d leave it alone.”) Seriously? Well, that’ll certainly become a terrifying therapy bill someday.
- Ghosts: Who wants to socialize with grim grinning ghosts?
- Plant life: “There was a man with a long sharp nose and a top hat that lived in the tree outside my bedroom window…but only at night. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized it wasn’t a man, but rather a shadow…” Well that puts a whole new spin on Peter Pan now…
- Spiders and snakes: I don’t trust anything with that many or no legs at all.
- Sharks: After unintentionally seeing JAWS at an inappropriately young age, I was terrified of sharks (specifically great whites) in my swimming pool. For years. Those things will come up out of NO WHERE at you!
We may laugh now, but these crazy fears are always with us. Today, a friend of mine was startled by a motion-activated cackling witch animatronic Halloween decoration. She screamed and engaged in battle. I don’t think that witch finds surprising unsuspecting employees quite so funny anymore…
Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
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