Tag Archives: fear

Terrors in the Night


The screaming began right around midnight.

“MOMMMMEEEEEEE!!!” It continued to gain in hysteria, growing louder and louder until a trembling child was pooled in heap upon the newly displaced dog bed.

(The dog has recently demonstrated a serious phobia of smoke alarms. I’ve recently decided to start cooking in a healthier lifestyle adoption. Kid and dog were likely going for a quid pro quo kinda thing.) Continue reading

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Where Have All the Kids Gone


We wandered down the sidewalk, taking moments to break free in the late-October sunshine to play unstructured games of tag and catch on the lawn. I was watching them; I made sure no tiny person darted into the street.

The muppets were laughing uproariously. And I had a moment of eye-rolling ironic realization that we’d better get all games of tag out of our system now. Because it’s probably not going to be allowed when my boys get to elementary school. Continue reading


What Are the Holidays Without a Bit of Projectile Puke

Holiday Boys

Given the title of this post, I’m sure you will be utterly SHOCKED to hear that one of the little men became so overwhelmed with the excitement of Christmas that he regurgitated yesterday’s breakfast.

I think his brother, Destroy, was just thankful Santa hadn’t stolen his soul in the dark of night. Continue reading


Creature Uncomforts (or the fact that my kid is terrified beyond belief of costumes)

This is terrifying people!

This is terrifying people!

My phone buzzed with the latest maternal observation from a friend. “I didn’t know you were a Santa torturer.”

Yup. Every year. We visited Santa this weekend. It did not go well. (Greatest photo ever.) Continue reading

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Run for Your Life

August is drawing to a close. Summer is fading into the sunset as the dark arrives earlier with every coming night. So with the last vestiges of hot summer nights, I decided to go for a run.

About six months ago, I was momentarily overcome by insanity and decided to sign up for the Disney Half Marathon. It’s Sunday. Continue reading


Prom Dates

Good news. I’ve secured the muppets dates to prom. It will be a twinsplosion of adorableness.

Remember the Lovelies? Back in February, Maureen announced was pregnant. And there were two. Twins! To reiterate: DOUBLE TROUBLE IS TAKING OVER Y’ALL!

Identical girls. (Destroy, aka Casanova, is *thrilled* – remember boys, only date girls whose daddy’s have less guns than yours.)

And then a week after we celebrated, I received the news about their 12-week ultrasound – that magical entry point into the second trimester when everything is supposed to be ok. It wasn’t. Continue reading


The Uprising (or why I am cowering in a corner suspiciously eyeing my children’s toys)

The toys are trying to kill me. I’m pretty sure I’ve discovered the source of all the mysterious bruises that keep appearing on my legs. Also, I may have a broken toe.

I was sitting alone on my couch this evening, minding my own business, quietly typing away on a brilliant blog post for you. Only the living room lights were still on – the rest of the house was dark. I thought it would just be a quiet night to sit back, write, and enjoy a nice glass of the Pinot Noir Aunt Stephanie provided as a distraction for gifting the muppets two Power Wheels. (“Do not try to drive over your brother!”) Continue reading


Motherhood Uncovered: Fright Night

In honor of Halloween, today’s Motherhood Uncovered post celebrates (freaks out about) the things we fear. Boo! Continue reading

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Housework and Big Chickens

My plan was to fold laundry tonight. It’s been piling up on the chair in the bedroom for a few weeks now – and it’s started threatening to topple down toward the dresser. Besides, what could be more fun than housework?

Oh oh! <Waves hand wildly in the air> I know! I know!


So I decided to call its bluff and see if the clothes would just fall into the drawers on their own.

(Warning: this post contains profanity for journalistic purposes. If that offends your delicate sensibilities, use some common sense and stop reading. You’ve been warned.) Continue reading

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Mommy Unplugged

Normal is a state of mind. On Tuesday, I went to speak on a panel about the NICU and hospital stays. The meeting was actually on Wednesday, so mommy-brain spent the remainder of the week following me around laughing.

As the muppets’ first birthday races toward us, our days in the NICU seem to fade further into the past. But the roller coaster of emotions is something that isn’t going to ever fully leave me.

Continue reading