Some comments are cute when spoken about your cherubic little toddler, yet not so funny when you hear the same utterance regarding your now grown up fun-loving frat boy. Continue reading
Category Archives: Humor
The Time It Takes
Just a quick simple errand. That’s all I needed to do today. Let’s review shall we?
Life Before Toddlers
Wake up. Get out of bed. Brush teeth, tie hair into ponytail. Throw on ratty sweatpants and t-shirt. (Yes, I wore them even before I had kids.) Get in car. Drive mile down road to strip mall. Hop out of car, hand money to cashier and complete transaction. Return home.
Total activity time: 30 minutes. Continue reading
Why Little Ones are Like Leprechauns
Leprechauns are mythical creatures.
Getting pregnant is a miracle. It requires a lot of drugs. I hear people on drugs see mythical creatures.
Leprechauns are no taller than a small child.
Little ones ARE small children. Continue reading
The Mommy Wars
CubicleViews proffered up a post about his adventures as a Stay at Home Mom for a day. It proved busy – but it did end with cookies – so he’s got that going for him.
This got me thinking about the ongoing mommy wars. The socialsphere continues to rage in a civil war of working moms vs. SAHMs. Babble recently posted an article, 10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mother.
Redbook – Things Never to Say To a Woman at 6 a.m.
STOP THE PRESSES! (Actually, don’t stop – since they’re presently printing me.)
Drop everything and go find a copy of Redbook Magazine – March 2012 edition! RIGHT NOW. I’ll wait. (You’re looking for page 19.)
My first piece in a nationally syndicated magazine has just hit newsstands. And our words are about to be seen by a circulation of 2.2 million people. Thanks peeps! Couldn’t have been so snarky without you.
Oh. My. God. Continue reading
Inside a Toddler’s Brain
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Clothing Optional
Once upon a time, in a land long before muppets, I had shame. I had a semblance of modesty.
Then I experienced infertility, quickly followed by premature labor, which ultimately ended with the birth of two children. AT ONCE (tiny as though they may have been). So add mommy-brain atop that list.
Guess what? I have no shame. I have no modesty.
The Uprising (or why I am cowering in a corner suspiciously eyeing my children’s toys)
The toys are trying to kill me. I’m pretty sure I’ve discovered the source of all the mysterious bruises that keep appearing on my legs. Also, I may have a broken toe.
I was sitting alone on my couch this evening, minding my own business, quietly typing away on a brilliant blog post for you. Only the living room lights were still on – the rest of the house was dark. I thought it would just be a quiet night to sit back, write, and enjoy a nice glass of the Pinot Noir Aunt Stephanie provided as a distraction for gifting the muppets two Power Wheels. (“Do not try to drive over your brother!”) Continue reading
Why Our Dogs Flunked Obedience School
Jon: Our dog ate an entire box of packing peanuts. Do I need to bring him in?
Vet: Packing peanuts?
Jon: Yes – those Styrofoamy twisty things they put in boxes to protect stuff. Continue reading
Dance Fever
This afternoon we headed up to celebrate the third birthday of one of the muppets’ girlfriends. It was a dance party.
Destroy was very excited – he practiced his moves all morning. DANCE DANCE! (Search wasn’t feeling all that great. He much preferred to cuddle.) Continue reading