Clothing Optional

Once upon a time, in a land long before muppets, I had shame. I had a semblance of modesty.

Then I experienced infertility, quickly followed by premature labor, which ultimately ended with the birth of two children. AT ONCE (tiny as though they may have been). So add mommy-brain atop that list.

Guess what? I have no shame. I have no modesty.

It’s a show-up, strip down (or vice-versa) kinda world.

The world where I now live is one where a small person may wander into the bathroom and pull back the shower curtain just to say hi. It’s a place where people joining me in the shower doesn’t even elicit a double blink.

We had plans to rock it out at the park Saturday morning. The muppets woke up at 7:30 a.m. Destroy announced the start of his day with a tremendously excited, “TADAAAAA!!!”

We scooted ourselves down the stairs (at a surprisingly high rate of speed) and enjoyed a delicious breakfast of bananas, Cheerios and blackberries before whirling into the living room to wreak havoc upon the multitude of toys in the children’s wonderland before them.

I was impressed. Good morninged, diapered, changed, breakfasted and playing nicely – all before our park date. I checked the clock, 8:30, and smugly began cleaning up the kitchen as we awaited our date who was due to arrive at 9. It struck me as I shuffled toward the boys in my slippers.

I forgot to get dressed.


I raced upstairs, grabbed clothes and ran back downstairs so I could keep an eye on the mischievous muppets while I changed. I stripped down in the entryway but quickly got distracted by a shiny object (in this case, taking the form of a barking black dog who had begun hurling himself at the front door).

So, because it made sense at the time, I went to investigate.

I saw the couple walked toward my driveway. (Our front door is half window.) And it occurred to me, I was not wearing a shirt. This thought was quickly followed by a mind-shrug; I’d answer that door.

Thankfully, the solicitors decided the crazy dog and naked lady silhouette may not be the most conducive to their sales pitch and crossed the street.

Wise move.

This afternoon both boys were very clear in their expressive language request to remove their shirt. A request to ditch the pants followed shortly thereafter, along with a significant amount of pleading to please keep the diaper on.

Why not have some naked time? Hey – we all have times where we just want to strip off all our clothes. Oh to be a kid again, where that is a perfectly reasonable request…


Filed under Home, Humor, Seriously?

4 Responses to Clothing Optional

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