Bumps and Bruises To Be Expected


The forecast called for rain. And the California morning had proven rather gloomy. But muppets were going stir crazy. It was mission critical to get them out of the house to expend some of the pent up energy boiling over.

Destroy had knocked all the couch cushions to the floor and was leaping from pillow to pillow in an effort to wreak as much chaos as possible.

Three behavioral warnings later and the three strikes and you’re out adage was activated. Destroy was sentenced to a (surprisingly rare) time-out. He was not pleased.

Two minutes into his four-minute stint seated in the blue chair of bad behavior, a blood-curdling wail emerged from the room.

Destroy was no longer seated in the time-out chair. He was crumpled in a heap on the floor – a giant red welt streaking across his left cheek. The blue chair was now collapsed on its side, several feet from where the time-out originally commenced.

“I wasn’t rocking!” Destroy claimed. “I was sitting quietly! The chair fell by itself!”

Apparently we were to believe that the blue chair of bad behavior had spontaneously ejected Destroy directly into the bookshelf’s center ledge. All without provocation.

A deep blue bruise was already starting to appear.

Black eye. Check.

It was time to go to the park. Fresh air is good for mommy’s sanity time-out bruises everyone.

Search darted out the front door with his Radio Flyer scooter at the ready. Kid can MOVE on that thing.

By the time we’d wrestled Destroy into his jacket and convinced him that climbing things at the park was just like watching TV and driving mommy crazy in the living room (but way funner), Search was at the end of the block.

“Too far!” I called after him. “You need to wait for the rest of us, please.”

Rather than wait, Search zipped back down the street. A blur scootered past the driveway.

“I’VE GOT WHEELS!” echoed throughout the neighborhood. (I can’t wait to drive with him in 12 years time…)

Destroy set off on his bike. Just as he was about to overtake his twin’s head start, Search popped out from behind a bush, body checking his brother right off the bike.

Scraped knee. Check.

This delightful turn-of-play was repaid when we arrived at the monkey bars. Destroy chose that particular moment to remind everyone of his nearly 10-pound weight advantage and claim king of the playground.

Monkey Bars

Brotherly brawl. Check.

When the sun began to set and the wind blew colder, it was time to head home.

Search hauled out ahead at full speed – zigging and zagging over and around the cracks in the sidewalk. Suddenly the scooter stopped.

Search did not.

When he completed his flip and screeched to a sliding stop on the street, he put his brother’s earlier wail to shame. Jon raced forward to our little man, who was sobbing and awkwardly cradling his arm.

We all thought a trip to the ER was imminent.

Thankfully it was merely impressive road rash down his arm and a goose-egg upon his favorite head-bonking spot. Nothing a Toy Story Band-Aid can’t fix…

Trying to break every bone in your body. Check.

“I’m ready to take the lead,” announced the ever-empathetic Destroy when Jon scooped up Search and the scooter separately. He proudly pushed forward on his bike and smugly waited for us all to return to the front porch.

Outdoor play over. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and cuddles for everyone. I also think we could use some ice cream.

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