We know there are two of the rascals. And now we know theyâ€™re both boys. So naturally, the question of the hour is â€“ what are you going to call them?
Right now, we call them â€œthe twins.â€ I started calling them River and Creek. Thanks to an off-the-cuff remark from Jon, my brother has begun referring to them as Rocky and Bullwinkle. The doctors call them Baby A and B. And as life has come full circle from a code a friend and I created in the seventh grade â€“ theyâ€™ve earned the oh-so-clever nicknames Boy A and Boy B.
Yet, as amusing as all those are, none fit the bill for a lifetime. (Boys, you can thank me later â€“ after youâ€™ve read this blog archived on some super-micro processor tech thing.) For the record, weâ€™re not telling anyone until theyâ€™re born. That way everyone with â€œoh no, I knew somebody named that who . . .â€ will feel too guilty to say anything.
My grandmother never loved her name â€“ Winifred Welker. She recalls working at an escrow company where clients would call and ask to speak â€œwith the Pooh.â€ My mom has been in education her entire life; she has an unlimited list of â€œoh no, I knew somebody named that who . . .â€ stories. Naturally, both of them have taken on the naming quest with unmatchable zeal.
â€œWhat about family names? How about Leo?â€ my mother inquired. â€œMy grandfatherâ€™s name was Raymond Leonard.â€ I made it clear that we were not naming our son after their dog.
My brother has focused on one particular name. He has begged and pleaded that Jon and I not name our child Andrew as that is the name he wants to name his future son. Here, I would like to note to my unmarried brother, â€œItâ€™s good to be the oldest.â€ =)
Children seem to have an uncanny ability to adapt to their names as well â€“ just to add additional pressure on the parents. One of my girlfriends named her son Henry James Harrison. I know, sounds like the next Supreme Court Justice to me too. And Henry (age 18 months) isnâ€™t wasting any time â€“ on a recent trip with them, Henry began waving at passengers in the airport terminal, shaking hands with passengers waiting to board and hugging babies. So weâ€™ll need two very successful names.
According to one of the many baby Web sites with never-ending advice, there are eight major baby-naming no-nos.
1.Â Â Â Â The nickname trap â€“ Finnegan is out. Finn Stream just sounds funny.
2.Â Â Â Â Embarrassing initials â€“ Looks like my brother doesnâ€™t have to worry about Andrew Scott Stream.
3.Â Â Â Â A lifetime of corrections â€“ I know Iâ€™m a horrible speller. Donâ€™t worry, we promise to use standard spellings.
4.Â Â Â Â Over-popularity â€“ I had six Jonathans in my elementary class. And weâ€™re not doing a Junior.
5.Â Â Â Â Problematic name pairings â€“ Hunter is out. As are any rhyming names.
6.Â Â Â Â Humiliating e-mail handles â€“ Iâ€™m not terribly concerned with this one as who knows what technology theyâ€™ll be dealing with in the coming decades.
7.Â Â Â Â Names not to live up to â€“ Yahoo! quickly cleared up this dilemna. Although there are a lot of streams in our world named after people.
8.Â Â Â Â So-so meanings â€“ The nursery has a Calvin and Hobbes mural, but Calvin means bald, so we wonâ€™t be going literal.
Itâ€™s nice to note that we already know the names of both of our sons. One of Jonâ€™s favorite mantras is â€œPoor Planning Produces Poor Product.â€ Weâ€™ve planned early; weâ€™re organized and ready for their arrival (well, at least when it comes to signing the birth certificates.)