Category Archives: Pre-natal

Before the twins arrival.

I Am Normal

Two years ago today. I am normal! I’ve been released to general population!

Yeah. We saw how well that went. Two loops later around the sun on this roller coaster and I’ve realized I am normal.

Normal is a state of mind. Continue reading


Prom Dates

Good news. I’ve secured the muppets dates to prom. It will be a twinsplosion of adorableness.

Remember the Lovelies? Back in February, Maureen announced was pregnant. And there were two. Twins! To reiterate: DOUBLE TROUBLE IS TAKING OVER Y’ALL!

Identical girls. (Destroy, aka Casanova, is *thrilled* – remember boys, only date girls whose daddy’s have less guns than yours.)

And then a week after we celebrated, I received the news about their 12-week ultrasound – that magical entry point into the second trimester when everything is supposed to be ok. It wasn’t. Continue reading


Infertility is a Bitch

A friend’s blog so aptly states Sometimes It’s Hard to Get Pregnant. “It’s hard to get pregnant. It’s hard to stay pregnant. And it’s hard to continue the journey.”

In college I was polka dotted. I visited approximately 732 dermatologists to figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, a doctor shared it wasn’t just an epidemiological stylistic body modification choice (although I do still bear the scars). It was an endocrine, autoimmune disorder. My body was attacking itself.

Goody. Continue reading


Showers and Sprinkles

My girlfriend is expecting a Little Miss this Halloween. Yesterday was her baby shower. It was a pink explosion. Hot pink tablecloths, pale pink frosted cookies, tutus surrounding the perimeter and princess wands for the expected princess.

In our group of friends, the scales of the next generation tilt heavily toward cooler hues of blue on the rainbow spectrum. Continue reading


Unthinkable Thoughts

The U.K.’s Guardian recently posted an article about a 23-weeker. “Nathan was born at 23 weeks. If I’d known then what I do now, I’d have wanted him to die in my arms.” At first glance this seems like a horrible statement – who wishes death upon their child?

Continue reading


The New Normal

(This post is the latest in the recent series, “Down the rabbit hole: What the hell happened this past year.”)

Last year, on April 13, I posted the following on my fledging StreamDoubleTrouble blog.

I am normal! After what seemed like eons since our last visual visit with our little ones, Jon and I returned to the doctor’s today to see how the twins are faring…Our high-risk perinatologist, Dr. Crites, smiled at the four of us and proclaimed, “Congratulations. You are having a perfectly normal twin pregnancy. You are now RELEASED!”

I’m normal! I’m still paranoid, but we are no longer classified as high-risk. My next appointment is with my regular doctor – who serves the general population of pregnant people. (Although appointments every two weeks mean I’m still being monitored very closely. I bet it’s “normal monitoring.”)

Go ahead. I’ll wait. When you’re done laughing uproariously at the absurdity of my bravado in announcing such a silly thing, and shaking your head at the now well-chronicled reality of the situation, the rest of this post awaits you.

Continue reading


Blue Clues

By popular demand, below are the clues to deciphering the long awaited, much anticipated and oft debated naming of the twins. Who knew that this would become such a popular guessing game – from the center of elementary school gossip in the grass seed capitol of the world (Albany, Ore.) to the topic of conversation among the ladies in Camarillo, Calif. Continue reading


Who’s On First?

"Game Called Because of Rain" by Norman Rockwell

Winding down week two of captivity. There are 36 ceiling tiles above me. Seven of them have accoutrements such as lights, sprinklers or fans installed. Sleep deprivation continues, with the hospital staff not allowing more than two and a half hours of sleep at a time. I am convinced the-powers-that-be secretly turn the heat up at night to assist in the baby cooking process. Why yes, in answer to your question, I am indeed going stir crazy. Continue reading

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PITA – acronym: “Pain in the [tushy]” (Insert appropriate synonym for tushy as appropriate.)

I have always been a cool, calm, rational and logical individual. I have never had a freak out over a simple matter or let a situation get to me. (Okay, friends and family reading this – once you have picked yourself up off the floor and recovered from hysterical laughter and finished rolling your eyes, please know the above statements are meant to be tougue-in-cheek.)

But last night, I panicked (although, I actually did behave calmly and rationally – who knew, pregnancy hormones really do change your demeanor…) Continue reading


Parental Practice

Consciousness – also known as that annoying time between naps. I’ve received a lot of advice on arriving babies. One of the big tips – get some rest now, because you’ll never sleep once the kiddos arrive. So apologies for the lengthy duration between posts, I’m constantly trying to nap.

Sadly, I’m beginning to suspect that the hospital has a policy against letting patients sleep. I know I’ve previously posted a bit about this via the beeping machines. But now I’m here for the long haul; I’m confined to baby jail until the boys make their grand debut. Continue reading