It started on a rainy day many months ago. Disallowed from their preferred activity of stomping through puddles and rolling in nature’s mud baths, Search and Destroy’s teachers directed our favorite whirling dervishes toward the classroom dress-up corner.
They went straight for the sparkling tutu costumes. (They clearly take after their mother – oooh, shiny object distraction…) Continue reading
While much of the country has been digging out from beneath Nemo, the frigid sub-70 degree freeze over Northern California finally lifted.
So we headed outdoors to get our hands dirty. (Because you need to give toddlers an excuse for that…) Continue reading
The calming chatterboxes in the back of the MomMobile were giggling about the day’s misdeeds, when we rolled to a stop across the street from a recently razed corner market.
MOMMEEE!!! DIGGER MOVE DIRT! MIXER! Mixer get blanket at dark. DOZERDOZERDOZER! MOMMEE!!! TRACTOR!
It was Apocolypse Now – Toddler version. If a garbage truck had been added to the mix, there may have been cause for aneurysm concern. Continue reading
Ladies and gentlemen – it’s October baseball! The muppets took the (preschool) field presently umpired by the three-year-old class teacher in full Buster Posey regalia (and orange Tod’s TOMS).
As a born and bred Bleed Blue Dodger fan, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about such impressionable young minds being perverted with San Francisco Giants adulation, but – I can’t deny the excitement in the air from hometown playoffs or the appreciation for good baseball. Continue reading
Disclaimer: I make no claims that the below apply solely to BoyParents. I’m sure these traits fit GirlParents too. However, I only have boys – so that’s how it’s getting labeled. Continue reading
The morning brought about a neighborhood walk. We wrestled with the dogs before nap and then filled their little tummies with lunch. An excursion to the park was to follow in the afternoon. The end-goal: Exhaust the little ones.
Spring is here. And it was a beautiful day. The muppets were showing signs of stir-craziness. So we ventured forth into the great outdoors. Search and Destroy have demonstrated a recent penchant for playing with sticks.
Remember that old nursery rhyme about snips and snails and puppy dog tails? I’ll decode that for you. Boys = noise with dirt. Continue reading
DEFINITION: Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. (Courtesy of A Daddy Blog)
Search was not wearing the outfit I dropped him off in this morning. He toddled around the corner, followed shortly by teacher Miss Stephanie. “We’re going to need more wipes.”
Seventeen outfits, 10 kiwis, 386 baby wipes, two runny noses, two incident reports, one hacking cough, one flesh wound, one black eye, and we’ve hit the second week of daycare running.
Continue reading
Well, another apocalypse has come and gone. I do believe the May 21, 2011 Judgement Day was Pastor Crazypants’s third attempt at salvation (the first two predictions fizzled in 1988 and 1994). My theory on why this prediction got so much reaction is due to the cult’s group’s massive advertising endeavor. For the past few months, there were more Rapture billboards than Starbucks in the Bay Area. Continue reading
It appears we’re not quite qualified yet. We missed the height requirement by just a smidge.
Basic qualifications required for consideration as a NASA astronaut include a degree in engineering, biological or physical science, and the ability to pass the NASA long-duration space flight physical – including 20/20 vision.
Unlike most children their age, the muppets already have one graduate degree. (More average kids don’t typically experience a graduation until at least kindergarten – we earned our first degree before their expected delivery date. They’re NICU grads, with an emphasis in breathing.) Given the medical attention they received, and the wires and sensors that surrounded their tiny bodies throughout their stay, it seems like they’ve earned a bioscience degree for not letting anything hurt their little bodies and an engineering degree for navigating all those wires.
We have another opthalmology appointment tomorrow to confirm 20/20 vision, but their little eyes are tracking objects they are interested in with a laser like focus. The minimal Grade 1 ROP was declared dissipated months ago.
Astronauts often operate in a zero gravity environment, so I figure the muppets’ inability to sit up of their own accord is irrelevant. But sadly, we can’t explain away the height requirement. Astronaut candidates need to be between 60-75 inches tall; the muppets are pushing 26 inches.
Nevertheless, we spent these past few beautiful California days practicing for some hard missions. NASA notes that training for long-duration missions lasts two to three years beyond the initial training and evaluation period.
The muppets experienced their first swing ride at the park. My little thrill seekers loved every minute of the swaying adrenaline rush. Due to size restrictions (again with the “tiny” issue), Search and Destroy decided to share a swing. They already look like little space men, ready for a moonwalk.
Tonight we took upon a second trial mission. We set out to procure some basic household items. We loaded up, headed out and bundled back into the stroller. A woman sidled up next to us as we entered the store. “Oh bless your heart,” she smiled at me. “Twins?”
I started to smile, and let her know how blessed we are. “A boy and a girl?” she asked? I sighed. “Two boys,” I assured her. I aimed the stroller in the probable direction of oatmeal. We maneuvered our way past the candy aisles, which were swarming with last minute Valentine’s Day sweethearts in search of sugar.
“Aww,” a voice cried out from among the throngs, “Twins!” I looked up. “A boy and a girl, right?” said a very excited woman. Again, I assured her Search and Destroy were both boys – this time without the smile. I pushed forward faster, determined to locate the oatmeal and get back home. But once again, we were thwarted in our pursuit of mashed grains. A woman standing amid the family planning and prevention paraphernalia. “Wow! Twins. A boy and a girl?!”
“Two boys,” I said through clenched teeth.
It finally occurred to me that most of these exuberant multi-sex proponents never even take more than a cursory glance at the double stroller before pronouncing what must be the “ideal” twin result. Search and Destroy are both very much boys (despite a friend, who incidentally does have boy/girl twins, said that “Searchce” has a nice ring to it – pun intended).
No, they are not identical. They are brothers. Both boys. And the “ideal” twin result – is two healthy babies, who may or may not be future astronauts.
