Pediatric Theatrics

We made it!

Yesterday was the one week anniversary of Destroy’s graduation. It was also the muppets first trip to the pediatrician.

This was our first trip out of the house as a complete family. So on Thursday, we decided to do a trial run and got ready for a walk around the block. The trial run was very much a trial walk-very-slowly.

After the decision to brave the outdoors was confirmed, we first needed to ensure the boys were dressed appropriately. Should they wear short sleeves with a blanket covering them? No – it was a bit windy, they might get cold. How about long sleeves and pants? Well, the sun will be shining down on them; they might get hot. Perhaps a hat is called for. Those were promptly ripped right off their little heads. We finally settled on layers: short sleeve onesie, jacket, socks and an optional blanket. Forty-five minutes later we were ready to set out.

Next came the car seat challenge. Obviously, the each kiddo has already ridden in a car seat since we drove home from the hospital. Regardless, we were determined to make sure they were comfortable and sitting up straight. (It starts early in life, “Don’t slouch! Sit up straight!”) What hadn’t yet been tested was the SUV-size land yacht of a double stroller. After about five minutes of staring at our wheeled beast, we had figured out how the sun-visors worked and the direction to move seats in order to fit the infant carriers.

It took three of us to roll the stroller the whole three feet out the door and down the two front porch steps. Did you know that double strollers have a back AND front brake? I do, now. If you leave the front brake on, nobody turns.

It was over an hour in the making, but we set out into the neighborhood for some vitamin D. We went around the block. The entire trip lasted about 10 minutes. Search immediately dozed off and Destroy just looked a bit bored. But we did it! It was, indeed, possible to leave the house with two small twin boys. We felt ready to make the perilous journey 1.2 miles down the street.

Friday morning. The boys woke up early (I know, shocking – babies getting up early) and enjoyed breakfast. Since our appointment was at 1:45 p.m., I thought it would be a wise idea to start preparing early. So at around 8 a.m., after we dined (which mostly entailed Search staring inquisitively up at me and debating whether the morning’s milk was quite to his liking), I began readying supplies for our expedition.

The diaper bag was an event. I have a diaper bag. That was about all I knew for certain needed to come with us (in addition to the stroller, car seats and babies). The pediatrician appointment was our first “well-visit,” so I knew we could expect the entire visit to last at hour at most, for both boys. For the hour the diaper bag was loaded down with two additional outfits, multiple diapers per muppet, gauze and saline wipes, tushy wipes, a changing pad, pluggies, blankets and bibs. I stashed antimicrobial water-less soap in the side pocket and two full bottles of milk in the other pocket. As we were running out the door, I threw my wallet and keys into the bag as a last-minute afterthought.

Back to the hospital. I was so pleased we’d all made it three full days without any hospital visits, I didn’t even mind our return trip. Jon got Search and Destroy safely secured into their seats and snapped into the car bases. Not content to leave my little guys alone for the entirety of the five-minute ride, I squeezed myself in between them into the middle seat of the Honda Pilot. (It’s surprisingly roomy…) Much like our rehearsal the day before, Search slept while Destroy looked a bit bored.

By far, the least exciting part of our adventure was the actual doctor’s appointment. Both boys are doing precisely what they are supposed to. Destroy, our little pudge, has reached seven pounds on his rapidly rising upward trajectory. Search, while a few ounces behind his brother, is an inch taller.

There must be a requirement in med school that pediatrician’s be low-key and laid back. Our new doctor was very informative and completely non-plussed by the 2 p.m. lunchtime meltdown. Shortly after the doctor entered the checkup room, Destroy felt the need to remind us that he was hungry. This reminded Search that, he too, was dying of hunger. Over the cacophony of shrill shrieking we learned that four months is the generally accepted timeline for venturing forth into crowds and visiting little ones can look, but not touch, our tiny muppets.

As the visit wrapped up, Destroy gave a defeated sigh and feel asleep. We triumphantly returned home from our first family outing with Destroy snoozing in his car seat and Search looking slightly bored.

Both boys enjoyed a hearty meal upon our homecoming.