NICU Sucks

My heart always skips a beat when I see the hospital’s number on the caller ID. So I held my breath a bit last night when the phone rang a couple hours after my afternoon visit with the muppets.

It was Nurse June. “I just had to let you know – Destroy finished another whole bottle!”

Regulating their own temperature. Check. Breathing without assistance? We’re working on it. Taking all feedings from a bottle? Major steps forward. As I mentioned before, Search’s been doing great; he eats all of his meals from his bottle. And now, something has finally clicked with Destroy. Previously, despite his sucking enthusiasm, Destroy had not quite grasped the concept of swallowing. He’d get confused at what to do next with his mouthful of milk and stop breathing while he tried to figure things out.

Nurse June put a note in the boys chart stating, “ALWAYS use the light blue nipple when feeding. Do not change nipples until specifically directed by their primary RN!” (Shockingly, June is their primary nurse.) We’d been having a lot of success with the light blue nipple. And the night before, Destroy had taken half a bottle using it.

Three days after moving in together, Destroy and Search are feeding like champs. There’s no scientific proof that the cobedding spurred the improvement, but I’m pretty sure the two had a conversation about the fastest ways to get the heck out of dodge.

There’s also the competition angle. They’ve been naturally competitive since birth (see Musical Maladies), but their morning nurses have begun adding fuel to the fire of sibling rivalry. Margaret is Search’s nurse; Ann is Destroy’s. Their nurses taunt each other over the twins development.

“Gee, my baby takes all his bottles.”
“My baby finishes his bottles without desatting.”
“I hope your baby doesn’t get too lonely when my baby goes home first.”

I’ve tried explaining that we do not need to be playing favorites, but I don’t discourage them too much since their tough love bickering seems to be spurring along the boys development.

Despite the blatant favoritism, Search and Destroy seem to have a great relationship with their nurses. (Of course, they’re so cute I naturally assume everyone falls madly in love with them.)

"Handsome Like Daddy" - The shirt says it all.

It must be an interesting dynamic – the longer they care for a baby, the more attached they become – the more they care, the more they want to get rid of the child. Nurse Margaret is going on vacation this week. When she said goodbye, she let me know with a bit of a guilty tone that she hopes her Search is still around when she gets back.

We’ll come back and visit, I promise. But don’t get too attached. We can’t wait to be rid of you either. Besides, thanks to the boys nurses, the NICU sucks. My self-regulated toasty little muppets are both downing more than an ounce every three hours.

And this time, when I say the NICU sucks – it’s a very very good thing.

Hi Search!

Hello Destroy!