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January 5, 2011

Bathnight Blowout

I know what you’re thinking. Today is Wednesday; bath night is Tuesday. For Search – bath night was both days this week. He had a blowout.

The muppets are getting so big so fast! Both are excitedly grasping at their toys and taking in the world around them in wonder. Thanks to the generosity of Santa and grandparents, there are a lot of new toys to inspire their little minds. Search’s new favorite is his jumper seat, which is highly conducive to his affinity for standing and bouncing.

This evening, when I got home, Destroy was working on his sitting ability with Dad while Search bounced happily away in his Baby Einstein Playful Piano Johnny Jumper. (He’s our budding rockstar.) I made a few final phone calls and sent out several work related follow-up emails. (A large portion of my job involves herding hamsters and chasing chickens.) Then I walked over to where my boys were enjoying some male bonding.

An odd smell wafted up through the air around me. Destroy looked up from Daddy’s lap, tooted, and grinned at me. Being the fabulous and loving wife and mother that I am, I offered to change his diaper. “You’re right – it really smells,” Jon agreed. “But I just checked and it’s only a tiny smear.” Hmmm, perhaps the odiferous culprit was his brother.

I scooped Search up out of the jumper and was practically knocked out by the noxious odor emanating from his nether regions. “It’s him,” I choked. We scurried upstairs toward the changing table, mass quantities of wipes and the likelihood of multiple new diapers.

I put Pig Pen down on the changing pad – one could practically see the smelly squiggles wriggling around him – unsnapped his jimmies and peeled his outfit off. There was no amount of wipes that was going to solve this situation. We marched back downstairs.

“Babe…we have a bit of a situation in here…” I called from where I was ruining more outfits, blankets, and washcloths in the bathroom. Jon rounded the corner and stumbled back out of the bathroom, overwhelmed by the stench (and pile of poop accumulating on the barrier blanket).

Even the size 3 diaper our little muppet recently graduated into couldn’t hold a candle to this blowout. Poop was smeared up to his neck. Thrilled with the attention, enjoying the unexpected naked time and preferring to stand instead of sit at any time of day, Search was all grins and giggles – even sharing his machine gun laugh with us.

When Jon was ready to shed the necessary hazmat suit and assist with the now exceedingly essential bath, Search was soaked from head to toe – literally. Now that out growing boys have begun experiences the joys of teething, the drool has begun to threaten a flood watch. Search has been sucking his thumb/hand with a furious vigor that can only be explained by the assumption that he is actually a changling that hasn’t yet realized he is no longer a swamp monster.

Then he peed on me. Overall, he was pretty pleased with himself today.

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December 26, 2010

The Muppets Christmas Spectacular

I am sitting amidst the mountains of wrapping-paper wreckage in the living room. The laughter has finally died down. This has been a holiday for the history books – new chapters and new memories. Continue reading →

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December 23, 2010

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It’s Christmas vacation 2010! This is my favorite time of the year; I’ve always loved the holidays. But I don’t think I’ve been this excited since I was a very small person.

It’s the muppets first Christmas – the first year we start creating our own family traditions.

Christmas was a VERY big deal as I was growing up. My brother and I would routinely wake up every hour the night before and yell, “Mommmm, is it Christmas yet?” Our parents would blearily mumble that it was not, and attempt to convince us to go back to bed. Paul and I would run back and forth into each other’s rooms.

After enduring many long minutes of discussion about the following day’s celebration, we would run into our parents’ room – carefully averting our eyes from the living room. Neither of us wanted to see the decorated tree until morning.

Our parents would groan and again send us back to bed. This scenario would repeat many times throughout the night.

When “morning” (quotations used because we would usually wear our Mom and Dad down by 6a.m.) arrived, we would run into the living room to plug in the tree. The rainbow colored lights would dazzle the gift-wrapped bounty below our plastic tree. Paul and I would grab our stockings and settle down next to “our” side of the tree. It was a treat just to be in the living room – the room no one was allowed in on any ordinary day.

Mom and Dad would stumble into the kitchen to make coffee. Someone would grab the camera. Paul and I would bounce around in the living room like hyperactive puppies, our eyes wide with excitement about the endless possibilities.

This is the first year my childhood tradition is changing. This is the first year that I won’t wake up at my parents house (albeit much later than dawn for many years now) and join my immediate family by the tree. This year we’re the grownups. Family is coming to visit us.

We have an action-packed celebration ready to remember.

Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, the muppets will experience their first Christmas mass. Aunt Ivy has volunteered to brave the ideal of holding a quiet infant throughout an hour-long mass with us. Christmas morning, we’re having a breakfast gathering with friends before GrammaJ and GrampaTavo arrive. Uncle Paul and Aunt Stephanie are joining us on Dec. 26 for an all-out family dinner.

Will these turn into the Stream family traditions? Only time will tell. I’ve been bouncing around with excitement for weeks now. I am excited about experiencing that same wonder and amazement through the eyes of my children.

This year may be a bit early for that – we’re more expecting them to contentedly sit in the arms of all their admires and track shiny objects. But there are endless possibilities for the years to come.

As a child, I was often most enthralled by the material gifts. After the whirlwind events of 2010, I can honestly say I truly believe. Santa came early this year; we have healthy muppets home with us. We have our family ready to create traditions that Search and Destroy will hopefully remember fondly 30 years from now.

Joy to the world people. The muppets are getting ready to celebrate.

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December 9, 2010

Playtime

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Really, Dad?

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November 28, 2010

Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

Time passes by in the blink of an eye. Today, our million dollar miracle muppets are six months old. Even though it seems like they just joined us yesterday, it’s already become difficult to imagine our lives without them.

And the muppets chose this milestone weekend to celebrate by becoming big boys. They’re rolling. (Jon called this one. When we returned home from our Thanksgiving excursion, we put the boys to bed and Jon looked at me and said, “They’ll roll over this weekend. They’re ready.”

On Friday (our first day home as a family in a long while), our happy family of four was hanging out in the living room. Jon and Search were on the floor goofing off on the playmat for some tummy time. Suddenly Jon said, “Um, babe – you’re son just rolled over.” He had propped Search up on his elbows and when Search turned his head over, his little body flopped over onto his back. He was rather surprised.

The next morning, I put Destroy down on his back so his brother could enjoy breakfast. When I looked up again, Destroy was in a prone Superman position on his tummy – arms and legs flailing in the air. I definitely don’t think that move was purposeful. He appeared rather disconcerted with what had just happened.

This morning (again during Search’s breakfast), I put Destroy on his tummy in his crib. He can now easily lift his head to a 90 degree angle. He looked up, looked around and rolled right on over. When we got downstairs, I set him down on his back. He immediately rolled over to his side. Apparently, he’s figured out the idea of throwing his leg over for momentum. The only thing still thwarting him was the arm remaining under him.

I sat watching him. I could see him trying to problem solve. Finally, he figured it out. Oh kids…life just got infinitely more exciting.

He started squirming around – eventually turning in a full 360. When he had wiggled his way to face where I was sitting, he lifted up his head again. “Look what I did Mommy!” He was terribly pleased with himself. He squiggled a few more degrees and passed out.

Destroy spent today rolling himself over at every opportunity presented to him. Both of our kids have been determined to get mobile from the moment they were born. Ready, set, go! And now that we’re rolling – catch me if you can…

Hard to believe it’s been half a year. 2010 (the whole year) has certainly been one for the record books. Happy six months Search and Destroy.

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November 18, 2010

Life with Little Ones

“I’ve been doing some thinking…”

“Mom and Dad look far too well-rested. How can I cause more mischief?”

“They’ll poop in their pants. They’ll poop on your pants.”

“Apparently riding the dog like a small pony is frowned upon in this establishment!”

Hi Ho Scout!

 

 

 

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November 10, 2010

Mini Me

The muppets are finally feeling better. Sick muppets are stressful.

This past weekend, they finally began recovering just enough to realize they did not feel good. So we had an extreme “hold me” weekend. Search was at least content to lie beside me. Destroy would not rest his well-exercised lungs unless he was firmly ensconced in my arms. On the positive side, Destroy’s continued screams did help clear our some of his congestion.

Needless to say, there was not much time for blogging endeavors.

Grandma Nancy stopped by on Tuesday to visit for the afternoon. Naturally, they immediately transformed into perfect angels. But hey – I’m not picky in the manner with which I encounter happy giggly muppets.

This was Grandma Nancy’s first extended stay alone with the boys. (So I do not begrudge her the halo effect even a little – it means she’ll come back for additional extended alone stays…) Rumor has it the conversations among the three took several trips down memory lane. (You’ve seen the Nanny Diaries documentary; the muppets converse regularly now.)

A popular question asked of me, other than “are they identical,” is “who do they look like?” And who better to confirm such a question than Grandma. The winning answer?

Jon. The muppets look like Dad.

Unlike animated Disney offspring, where sons are carbon copies of their father, the muppets do have some of my features. Search, for example, has inherited the trademark pointy chin found on my side of the family. And he has a similar body type to my baby self – longer and leaner. Destroy, in contrast, has more of a Michelin Man body type, round and rolly.

See for yourself.

Did your children look just like you? Or did you look just like one of your parents?

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October 18, 2010

Raindrops on Roses

…and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it.

Now, the muppets didn’t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known.  The day began with Destroy screaming for food at the top of his (rapidly growing) lungs. I quietly entered the nursery figuring Search was still asleep and I could feed both boys without rousing the rest of the house. Search was not asleep. Search was voraciously gnawing on his brother – which, in retrospect, may have also contributed to Destroy’s screaming.

It became readily apparent that they were going to have a “Hold Me” day. Not so bad, I thought – with the rain pounding down on the roof, we can sit back and cuddle in our jammies.

Nope.

We were having a “Hold Me and Do Something Entertaining” day. Problem was, neither Search nor Destroy could figure out precisely what they found entertaining.

Compounded the crankiness were two uncomfortable tummy aches. Destroy wouldn’t sit; he would arch his back and wail. Search kept scrunching up his legs into his tummy while his lower lip would pout and begin to quiver as he sobbed.

It suddenly became very clear. The muppets had to poop. Search’s last download was eight days ago – it was imminent. Sure enough, as Search squirmed around in his bouncy chair, GrammaJ and I heard the unmistakable sound of a young child airing out his insides. Shortly thereafter, the accompanying pungent aroma began slowly perfuming the room.

The dogs got up and left.

I clapped and cheered the accomplishment of this recent bodily function and scooped up the child for a now urgent diaper change. But he wasn’t finished. As I was finishing up with the first change, another wave of baby poo oozed out onto the second diaper – then a third. I reached over to grab the fourth diaper of this monumental change when I heard it. An explosion emerged from my son. I shrieked – poop cleared the diaper laid out on the changing table, spraying a bit onto the pad and splattered across the cardboard boxes holding high chairs in the corner of the nursery. Search looked up at me, his face breaking into a huge grin. Well done!

As I was telling this story, a friend interrupted me. “You ever have those moments where you stop and think, ‘I used to be cooler than this…and now look at me.’?” I responded with the appropriate cliché about how, considering everything we’ve been through with the muppets, dynamite poop couldn’t be cooler.

But the truth is, I was never cool. Life prior to the muppets often found me yelling at the dog for eating his own poop. Whereas I used to get home from work and ask, “What did the dog eat today,” now I get home to discover how many outfits have been changed due to a puking incident. (For curious readers, the records stand at the California Penal Code, leather boots, two baseball gloves and five respectively.)

What parenthood has brought me, are the stories to tell of things I never thought I’d hear myself saying or doing. “Sweetie, please don’t try to eat your brother.” And poop is cause for celebration.

 

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October 10, 2010

Zio and Zia

The muppets and I have just returned from the airport. After a fun-filled weekend whirl of a visit, the muppets reluctantly agreed to release Paul and Stephanie back to the badlands.

Somewhere in an album, hidden away in my parents’ closet, is a photo of me holding Paul. I’m three; Paul is perhaps three months. He is slouching down and looking very concerned that someone thought it was a good idea to hand the newborn to the toddler. What a different picture this weekend – now it’s Paul holding the babies. (Although, there were certainly some of the same concerned looks…)

The newly engaged couple arrived on Friday evening. Since the muppets didn’t appear interested in sleeping, both were wide-awake and ready to meet their new family. Stephanie didn’t make it two steps into the house before her arms were outstretched for a little man. In the arms of the adorably pocket-sized Steph, the boys looked ginormous. Paul smiled and admired them from a distance.

Uncle Paul and Aunt Steph had procured stuffed animals for the muppets during their engagement excursion in Hawaii. A green sea turtle with giant bug eyes and a soft grey dolphin. Naturally, I was very excited about the turtle. Paul noted that even though everyone (from purchase through delivery) seemed to get so excited about the turtle, he’d picked out the dolphin. Brothers-in-arms, Destroy was fully on his side regarding his favorite animal. He hugged the dolphin close and snuggled into my chest with his new toy. In contrast, he eyed the turtle very warily. I do not think he was a fan – in retrospect, it may have been the bug-eyes that threw him.

Saturday morning, I heard Paul pacing near the bottom of the stairs. Search had finished breakfast but was not content to sit back and give his brother a chance to fill his tummy. So, I instructed Paul to join me in the nursery and make himself useful. He sat down and I put Search in his lap. Search and Paul were wearing matching concerned looks. Paul was so afraid to move, he asked Stephanie to itch his eyebrow for him. He became a lot more comfortable as the hours passed.

We spent the rest of the morning in the living room as Paul explained the merits of college football to the next generation quarterback and linebacker. Destroy looked up at Paul wide-eyed and arfed. Not to be outdone by his brother, Search waited for Paul to feed him and had a major diaper blowout. But both, feeling better with more room in their tummies, rewarded Paul with a grin.

(Not the actual wedding dress)

The muppets were very spoiled. The slightest muppet noise or coo and Steph had them scooped up into her arms. Smiles were had by all.

Sunday was wedding focused. The love-birds met with a photographer (my favorite, Keary Dee) and then we bundled up the boys and went to try on wedding dresses. Paul was in charge of babysitting the twins. Auntie Ivy was on hand to babysit Paul as needed. (Turns out she wasn’t.) Aunt Steph is going to be an amazingly gorgeous bride.

Despite my best efforts, I don’t see the two abandoning their new beach house to move up north. They were such a help and great with the boys. And I can tell the muppets love them just as much. In fact, I think the muppets would like them to come back. Soon.

In the meantime, since Paul and Steph have just moved into their new home, I shall make it my responsibility to ensure an appropriate number of muppet photos are proudly displayed in each room.

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September 28, 2010

A Stitch and a Prayer

Today marks four months with the muppets. And even though they’ve only been home for half that time, it’s already hard to imagine life without them.

The other day we received a box. Surprisingly, it wasn’t from diapers.com. Inside were two beautifully knitted baby blankets.

The card noted that the blankets began coming to life this past April – when I was first admitted to the hospital at 22 weeks. And with each stitch, came a prayer that the muppets would come home smart, strong, healthy boys.

As we unfolded the cozy completed blankets, they were a wonderful representation of all the thoughts and prayers directed toward the muppets during what can only be thought of as a very stressful entrance to the world.

One always has a general idea of what the completed craft will look like at the start. But there’s always the danger of a dropped stitch – sometimes what you find the finished project to be isn’t what you initially imagined, but you may just find yourself amazed at what you accomplished.

The blankets are beautiful. And much enjoyed by their little recipients. Thank you.

Thank you to everyone for helping us get the muppets home.

And with that, I must sign off. Muppets are screaming. They’re on a quest to keep getting bigger by the day.

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