Category Archives: Angels

Three Years Gone By


I spent this morning’s commute trying to explain to my sons the concept of death. Continue reading

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Until We Meet Again


Sometimes life takes a turn and you are left with no words with which to express your emotion. When you are a writer, this can pose a problem.

I first “met” Diana from Hormonal Imbalances on Twitter. She had just been admitted to the hospital; her water had broken at 18 weeks gestation with her twin boys. From there on out, I was emotionally attached to her story. I wanted those boys to make it. I wanted her to hold on and defy the statistics – if for no other reason than to show hospital administrators up for thinking her an emotional pregnant basket case.   Continue reading

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A Year Gone By


It was 6 a.m. The phone rang.

I knew.

I answered.

“Grandma passed away last night.”

I didn’t cry.

I got the boys ready for school. I got ready for work. I followed my routine. It was Jan. 22, 2012. Continue reading


The Secret Society of Prematurity

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.
– Haruki Murakami

Prematurity is an experience no one really thinks about when they embark upon the adventure of parenthood. And it’s not one anyone wants. But once fate flings such a twist our way, we find ourselves part of the secret society we never asked to pledge. Continue reading


When You Go After Honey With A Balloon, Don’t Let The Bees Know You’re Coming

There has definitely been a general funk surrounding us all lately. Depression, crankiness, corporate intrigue…even The Bloggess noted we may all be on a similar cycle.

For me personally, part of my present struggle has to do with the rabbit hole of this time period – the blur that leads up to my inauguration as a preemie parent some two years ago.

It’s certainly been an adventure. Continue reading

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Guess what I was doing two years ago today. No cheating. Wow. You totally just cheated.

But yes. We are going right back down this rabbit hole. And fair warning – we likely have many years ahead of us doing the exact same thing. So prepare to tuck and roll folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Two years ago today I wandered the halls of a hospital looking for the Labor and Delivery unit. (Which, by the by, they hide on the top floor – that makes no sense.) They hooked me up to machines. And we waited. And then I was admitted. It didn’t look good.

I still vividly remember Dr. Meyer shaking his head at me. “Not viable.” He was not a doctor who gave me warm fuzzies.

It was April 22. I was 22 weeks pregnant. Continue reading


There Are Angels Among Us

A beautiful boy.

Gabriel James Elder. Meaning “hero of God.”

April 16, 2012 at 16:58 hours to parents Jennifer and Ryan and big brothers Michael and Brady Elder.

4 pounds. 11.5 ounces. 18.5 inches.

Heaven’s newest angel. Continue reading


I Am Normal

Two years ago today. I am normal! I’ve been released to general population!

Yeah. We saw how well that went. Two loops later around the sun on this roller coaster and I’ve realized I am normal.

Normal is a state of mind. Continue reading


The Easter Bunny

Happy Easter

I’ll save you the ears, Grandma Winnie.

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Prom Dates

Good news. I’ve secured the muppets dates to prom. It will be a twinsplosion of adorableness.

Remember the Lovelies? Back in February, Maureen announced was pregnant. And there were two. Twins! To reiterate: DOUBLE TROUBLE IS TAKING OVER Y’ALL!

Identical girls. (Destroy, aka Casanova, is *thrilled* – remember boys, only date girls whose daddy’s have less guns than yours.)

And then a week after we celebrated, I received the news about their 12-week ultrasound – that magical entry point into the second trimester when everything is supposed to be ok. It wasn’t. Continue reading