Bathnight Blowout

I know what you’re thinking. Today is Wednesday; bath night is Tuesday. For Search – bath night was both days this week. He had a blowout.

The muppets are getting so big so fast! Both are excitedly grasping at their toys and taking in the world around them in wonder. Thanks to the generosity of Santa and grandparents, there are a lot of new toys to inspire their little minds. Search’s new favorite is his jumper seat, which is highly conducive to his affinity for standing and bouncing.

This evening, when I got home, Destroy was working on his sitting ability with Dad while Search bounced happily away in his Baby Einstein Playful Piano Johnny Jumper. (He’s our budding rockstar.) I made a few final phone calls and sent out several work related follow-up emails. (A large portion of my job involves herding hamsters and chasing chickens.) Then I walked over to where my boys were enjoying some male bonding.

An odd smell wafted up through the air around me. Destroy looked up from Daddy’s lap, tooted, and grinned at me. Being the fabulous and loving wife and mother that I am, I offered to change his diaper. “You’re right – it really smells,” Jon agreed. “But I just checked and it’s only a tiny smear.” Hmmm, perhaps the odiferous culprit was his brother.

I scooped Search up out of the jumper and was practically knocked out by the noxious odor emanating from his nether regions. “It’s him,” I choked. We scurried upstairs toward the changing table, mass quantities of wipes and the likelihood of multiple new diapers.

I put Pig Pen down on the changing pad – one could practically see the smelly squiggles wriggling around him – unsnapped his jimmies and peeled his outfit off. There was no amount of wipes that was going to solve this situation. We marched back downstairs.

“Babe…we have a bit of a situation in here…” I called from where I was ruining more outfits, blankets, and washcloths in the bathroom. Jon rounded the corner and stumbled back out of the bathroom, overwhelmed by the stench (and pile of poop accumulating on the barrier blanket).

Even the size 3 diaper our little muppet recently graduated into couldn’t hold a candle to this blowout. Poop was smeared up to his neck. Thrilled with the attention, enjoying the unexpected naked time and preferring to stand instead of sit at any time of day, Search was all grins and giggles – even sharing his machine gun laugh with us.

When Jon was ready to shed the necessary hazmat suit and assist with the now exceedingly essential bath, Search was soaked from head to toe – literally. Now that out growing boys have begun experiences the joys of teething, the drool has begun to threaten a flood watch. Search has been sucking his thumb/hand with a furious vigor that can only be explained by the assumption that he is actually a changling that hasn’t yet realized he is no longer a swamp monster.

Then he peed on me. Overall, he was pretty pleased with himself today.