Tag Archives: poop

Incident at the Park

Manneken_Pis_(crop)

The sultry siren song of a summertime weekend made me do it. It was 5 p.m. on Friday night and still 80 degrees out. Music in the Park was calling our name. It was the perfect recipe for an evening out – we’d hit up the local sandwich shop and run the energy off on the slides.

And as in an environment as such, the more the merrier – some friends decided to join us. Continue reading

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Devil’s in the Diaper

Expulsion_from_Garden_of_Eden_Masaccio

The true parable of Adam and Eve does not detail punishment by banishment from a literal utopian garden. It is an allegory illustrating the evolution of man; the development of human brains to combat the elements by donning clothing, thus leading to the invention of potty training. Continue reading

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Up Shit Creek with only a Single Pack of Pampers Sensitive Wipes (or a day in the life of potty training twins)

pampersentwipes

Morning begins with a cry for Mama (oh who are we kidding – the cry is for waffles). One of the little men is awake. Except he doesn’t want to get out of bed. (Maybe if he hides under the covers no one will notice him.)

The adult of the house least able to feign sleep entreats the sleeping muppet to get up and get dressed. The real motive behind such excitement to start the day? No one knows how well the Nighttime Pull-up has held up against the unwilling bladder of a 3-year-old.

To the potty! Continue reading

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Down and Dirty Preschool Pickup

White Flag

Preschool pickup could have gone better today. Read ahead at your own risk.

I got the day’s rundown when I went to sign the boys out. “Destroy’s in a pull-up because he asked for one to poop in.” Hey! That’s great! Smooth sailing sign out and just another day for the books.

If only that were the end. Continue reading

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Putting up with Pullups

Huggies

Destroy marched proudly into his classroom with a new pack of pull-ups for summer session at school. Search followed clutching the brown paper bag with breakfast – bananas and yogurt.

His teacher laughed at me when I arrived later for pickup. Search wants nothing to do with this potty training gig. Continue reading

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Zombie Apocalypse (aka Daylight Saving)

Dead Hand copy

How do you explain Daylight Saving to a toddler?

Well honey, I know the sun is still shining bright outside. But it really is time for bed – so I can wake you up far too early tomorrow morning. Because *most* of our country decides to change things up twice a year. Yes, you still have to go to bed now. Yes, that is a tiger on the wall. RAWR to you too.

In short – you don’t. Continue reading

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Sacrifice to the Potty Gods

The boys want nothing to do with the potty. Rather they seem to be quite enamored with going through 3,000 diapers per year.

So we ordered books. (Because heretoforth those “What To Expect” how-to guides have always served us so well…) Continue reading

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Easy as A,B,C, 1,2, Poop

Real Shit

So…this was my night. How was yours? Continue reading

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Welcome Home. We Pooped.

Last night was the end of my New York Adventure. (More about that later.) I got back to my room at 9:30 and decided I was exhausted and done. Shortly thereafter I found myself at the hotel bar getting to know some seriously awesome fellow bloggers late into the night.

This morning I awoke FAR too early so I could catch a flight back to the Golden State and reality. The sunrise greeted me with several new tweets from my new friends. Continue reading

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Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Dear Santa,

Look, I’m sorry I took your name in vain. (That is you I’m supposed to avoid doing that with, right?) Anyway, this isn’t even a real blog post. This is a Monday. Continue reading

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