When Life Gives You Lemons

The old saying is, “When life gives you lemons…make lemonade.” When twins grace your life, those lemons become the main ingredient in an Iron Chef competition.

The muppets have been rather fussy this past week. Yesterday was the dénouement (I hope). Our morning passed in a blur of “Hold me, hold me” and random freak-outs. When they were being held, they wanted to squirm away. When I put them on the floor, they whined to be held.

Breakfast was interrupted when the poop started. Even big boy food wasn’t soothing yesterday’s malaise. Destroy was flinging food left and right in his “All Done” motion. But the moment his tray was clear, he would look me squarely in the eye and announce, “Ma,” followed by the sign for more. He would look down at his empty tray and scream out of frustration.

Then the smell hit me. Cooper didn’t even bother to shake off the pieces of nectarine and soggy half-chewed Cheerios from himself before relocating himself to the garage. (Note: raspberries and bananas are a mushy messy breakfast combination, but man – can that concoction catch some air.)

Suddenly Search grinned. I scooped him up and turned to plonk his brother down on the ground to wait for his turn at the changing station. It became rapidly apparent that this was going to be a dual diaper change.

It. Just. Kept. Coming.

It’s worthwhile to note that neither muppet will sit still – each completely fascinated by what his brother is doing. And despite a living room filled to the brim with toys, a used diaper was the most interesting thing in the world.

Well, it was bath night anyway. You never would have known that I wasn’t right there in the tub with them. They have discovered splashing. But once the warm bath novelty wore off, the screaming began anew. I heard the door shut upstairs. It didn’t look like Dad was going to get to sleep in.

I wrestled the muppets into the jogging stroller and we headed out for a three-mile jog. Destination: Starbucks. Of course, in the presence of strangers the boys were in full-flirtatious force.

“Oooo!” cooed the 20-something barista. “I’ve always wanted twins! I bet it’s a lot easier since they have each other to play with! And look! They’re so well behaved. Ooooo! Look – he’s smiling at me. They’re such little heartbreakers. Are they always this good?”

“They’re just plotting at the moment.” I replied. Simultaneously both muppets grinned slyly and giggled. I KNEW IT!

“Omigod, they’re so cute! Did you want whipped cream on your drink?” the barista continued?

“No,” I replied. “But I would greatly appreciate an extra shot of espresso…”

The question, “How do you do it with two?” has never made sense to me. Million dollar miracle muppet multiples are all I know. But I cannot imagine raising our little dudes without their amazing father.

Last year was technically Jon’s first Father’s Day. The muppets were a scant 3 weeks old and quite a distance from their eventual homecoming. They’ve grown up so much this past year. As they start to look more like little boys instead of the tiny babies they once were, it’s a privilege to come home to my giddy guys after a fun-filled educational day at Daddy Day Care.

Happy Father’s Day, Jon. It’s an education, that’s for sure. It’s exhausting. It’s entertaining. And they’re happy healthy babes because of what you give them.

For the inquiring minds curious as to how we celebrated Dad’s awesomeness, the muppets woke up at 7:15 a.m. and remained relatively calm. When Jon woke up at 3 p.m., he smiled. “All I wanted for Father’s Day was sleep. And I did.”

In the wise words of Destroy, “Ma!” (We’re all looking forward to the fun of many more years to come.)


1 Comment

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One Response to When Life Gives You Lemons

  1. Joanne Hamann

    Yikes!!!!! What a morning- you surely gave him the best Father’s Day present ever!

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