Tag Archives: bathtime

Bathtime Linguistic Lessons

Bath Donald

Destroy: Mommy, watch! My Donald Duck dived.
Me: Good job, Donald. Good dive.
Destroy: He dived, Mommy!
Me: He dove.
Destroy: He dove? He didn’t dive?
Me: He did dive. But we say dove when he already did it.
Destroy: Oh.

Search: My guys are on boards.
Me: What letter is that board?
Me: Good job! How many “S”s do you have?
Search: Two.
Me: That’s right!
Search: And this is a A!
Destroy: Apple! A for apple!
Search: Apple!
Destroy: And bacado.
Search: No, that’s B for bear.
Me: Well honey, Destroy’s actually right. It’s avocado. But good sound listening for “B.”

Destroy: Daddy, watch my Donald dove now.
Jon: Dive. He’s going to dive.
Destroy: No. He’s doving.
Jon: Dive.
Destroy: Dove.
Jon: Tricia!
Search: No Daddy, that not Tricia. That’s Mommy.
Me: He dives, sweetie. If he jumps right now, he dives. If he jumped yesterday, he dove.
Destroy: Mommy said dove. Donald doves.


How to Put a Toddler to Bed

Sleeping Babe

Fairy tales will have you believe that adroit parents simply put their offspring to bed and retire to enjoy the peace and quiet of adult time.

The plan:

  1. Carry sweet child upstairs.
  2. Tuck them into bed. Read educational storybook.
  3. Kiss cherubic chubby cheeks.
  4. Close door gently. Return an hour later to simply stare at angelic perfection.

HOGWASH! Continue reading


Easy as A,B,C, 1,2, Poop

Real Shit

So…this was my night. How was yours? Continue reading


Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Dear Santa,

Look, I’m sorry I took your name in vain. (That is you I’m supposed to avoid doing that with, right?) Anyway, this isn’t even a real blog post. This is a Monday. Continue reading