See Spot(s)

Destroy is polka dotted.

When I got home from work this afternoon, Mary Poppins Holly mentioned that little Destroy had a bit of a rash – and it was spreading.

We lifted up his shirt and he flashed his trademark grin sprinkled with a giggle. (He is a happy baby.) Polka dots. Now, I’m a huge fan of the polka dot style – on clothes. On skin, I am most decidedly NOT in favor.

The dots (albeit a very pale pink and not an angry red) covered his tummy and were reaching toward his chest. They had encircled his waist and crawled up his back. His legs were getting spotty, while several dots mocked me from his forehead.

Holly (who is even more paranoid than I am in matters of children’s health – I am not making this up) assured me that children get lots of random rashes. There weren’t any recently imbibed strawberries, nor was any of our recent big boy food a new culinary introduction. We haven’t changed soaps or detergents. Most rashes are usually nothing. Since he had no fever, this was likely a “wait and see” rash.

I do not like “wait and see.” I never see anything good. And my imagination can conjure up some fantastical images worthy of a thriller on the New York Times bestseller list.

So before Holly had cleared the driveway, I had plucked Destroy from his pile of toys and dialed the advice nurse. Search was rocking happily in his swing, chattering to himself and trying to rip the mobile from the machine with the brute force wielded by a 20-pound toddler. He was clearly unaware of the dot situation.

I introduced myself to the advice nurse four minutes later. “My kid has a rash.” (I know, I’m sure this is the first time they’ve ever heard this.) And hence we commenced the laundry list of items to eliminate. Food, no. Soap, no. Fever, no. (I’m getting good at this game.) She laughed at me and said they always ask the same questions repeatedly because moms often seem a bit overwhelmed when they have a little one at home.

“I have two little ones,” I shared proudly. (The advice nurse may have been tipped off to this by Destroy’s official Kaiser name: Destroy Twin B Stream.)

“Any recent shots?” Ding ding ding! Well, yes – but in full disclosure they were a couple weeks ago. The nurse laughed. “Are they pinkish and unknown to our patient?” I looked down; Destroy was busy trying to put the diaper-wipe box on his head. “Yeah, I don’t think they’re bothering him,” I informed the nurse.

A side effect of the first MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) shot is a cosmetic display of, well, measles, mumps and rubella. They appear 7-12 days after the offending shot; the muppets one-year well-baby physical was 11 days ago. The nurse didn’t even qualify her phone diagnosis. “That’s the rash.”

She mentioned that his chart impressed her, that he has been such a healthy baby – with only a few mild colds. Super healthy – aside from that whole three months premature thing…

“Now, another side effect of these shots is often a fever,” she continued. “Up to 103 is common. If it starts to reach 105 or 106, we definitely want to hear from you.”

Ummm…I interrupted her right there. I know that 103 may be no big deal to the medical establishment, but she was talking to the mom willing to spend upward of six hours in the ER on a Friday night for a case of the sniffles. (To be fair, he did have wheezing and need a nebulizer on that particular evening.) The doctor will be hearing from me at 99.9.

I concur with our Monday Mary Poppins (Holly): We are not overprotective. We are awesome.