April 8, 2010

Comments from the Peanut Gallery

I received my first comments from the peanut gallery about my pregnancy today.

“You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.” – Dave Barry (Tangent: Check out the book, “Babies and Other Hazards of Sex” by my hero Dave Barry. It’s hilarious and likely based not entirely in fiction.)

I was headed down the hall at work this morning, aiming for the elevators because I no longer do stairs. A random guy was headed down the same hallway in the opposite direction (he probably takes the stairs). As our paths crossed, he developed a very goofy look and pointed at me exclaiming, “Girl!”

Why yes, I am indeed a girl. Granted I work at a company with numerous engineering nerds – but I’d be willing to wager that about half the company population comprises female nerds, engineering or otherwise. Good observation skills sir!

It then occurred to me that he might be referring to my five-month large protruding belly. “Two boys,” I replied with a smile.

“Wow, I was totally off!” And he continued on his merry way – detouring into the coffee bar to caffeinate himself. I laughed, thinking, “You’re really lucky I am pregnant scooter.”

Jon posited that I should be pleased that people assume I am pregnant, not just fat. To be clear, this morning’s exchange didn’t offend me in any way. I thought it was funny.

Especially because today’s post on The Poop, the baby/parenting blog from the San Francisco Chronicle, is titled, “At what point do you acknowledge someone is pregnant?”

It concludes, “And that, among other reasons, is why the phrase ‘so … when is the baby due?’ isn’t in my vocabulary. It’s the royal flush of awkward situations.”

I am prepared to face more of these people – the touchers, those with “helpful” advice and, of course, the pregnancy police. I know they’re out there. And oh the stories I’ll share.

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April 6, 2010

Are You My (grand)Mother?

I never had much difficulty identifying my grandparents. I only had one grandfather. He lived in Southern California, so he was Grandpa. His wife, my mother’s mother, is Grandma. My father’s mother still lives in Italy; she is Nonna.

My mother recently decided she wasn’t a fan of how “Grandma Janet” sounded. So we begin round two of the name game.

When she was a tyke, children did not use adults’ first names. So it was Grandma and Grandpa Last Name. But when I offered to have the twins call my mom Grandma Cosaro, she did not waste a single portion of her next breath declining. Apparently that conjures an image of an elderly lady knitting a bonnet as she rocks in a chair on a porch. My mother does not knit. Nor does that description seem to fit the demeanor of the SoCal Assistant Superintendent.

I did a bit of research on what our options are regarding the typical names. The Internet tells me there is also a trend toward inventing something that sounds cooler than traditional names.

Traditional Names Modern Names Translated Names
Big Mom BeBe Chinese: NaiNai
Gram Bella Filipino: Lola
Gramma GiGi Flemish: Bomma
Grammy G-Ma French: Grandmere
Grams G-Mom French Canadian: Meme
Grandma Honey German: Oma
Grandmama Lovey Greek: YaYa
Grandmom MayMay Hawaiian: Tutu
Grandmother Mia Hebrew: Savta
Grannie Mim Italian: Nonna
Ma or Maw Mimi Irish: Maimeó
Mamo Nina Japanese: Oba-chan
MawMaw Korean: Halmoni
Mema Polish: Busia
Memaw Portuguese: VoVo
Mom-Mom Russian: Babushka
Nana Spanish: Abuela
Yiddish: Bube

Given my heritage, it seems a simple solution would be to call my mother Nonna and my dad Nonno. My dad may become Nonno Tavo, but we haven’t polled him on his chosen name yet. (He’s still busy trying to convince us the twins will be Gustavo 1 and Gustavo 2.) Nonna has been vetoed due to the Strega Nonna correlation (see more about this in the future post on children’s books I’ve promised).

What do your children call their grandparents? What did you call yours? Any preferences Meemaws?

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April 4, 2010

It’s a Jungle Out There

Happy Easter! To celebrate spring and new life, we went shopping. Seven hours, 100 miles up, down and across the Bay Area. There are approximately 894 gajillion options/suggestions on stuff babies need. I think we looked at all of them.

Naturally, I have used the past several weeks obsessively researching and compulsively organizing lists of what we would need. I pestered all the mama’s I know about their experiences, I highlighted key recommendations in Baby Bargain and Consumer Reports books, I asked the Internet thousands of questions and noted all contradictions. I set out equipped with notes, books, spreadsheets, notebook and pen; I felt ready.

Our goal for the weekend was to procure the “big stuff.” Furniture and important gear like car seats. Furniture often takes up to 12 weeks to arrive, you can’t leave the hospital without car seats (who knows when the boys plan to make their debut) and more importantly – I still fit in the stores to look at the merchandise.

Our adventure expedition included me and the boys (naturally), my mom (Grandma Janet), my mother-in-law (Grandma Nancy), and Dad (my very brave husband).

First we headed up to Lullaby Lane in San Bruno, CA. It’s ranked as one of the best baby stores in the U.S.; it takes up three city blocks. Directly upon entering, I encountered the books. I was quickly dragged away. Jon laughed at me and Grandma Janet reminded me, “You can look at all these later . . .” Oh yeah. We were there to look at furniture. (I will return to the fun subject of baby books in a future post.)

I wandered among the cribs, checking model types against my rankings. Jon shared his opinion on style – noting we needed to remember that these “lifestyle cribs” will also be serving pre-teen and teenage boys. Grandma Nancy remained in awe, constantly repeating that babies were on their way. She followed us around taking pictures to document the occasion.

We decided upon our nursery theme: it’s a jungle. I figure this fits – two boys on their way and a room already decorated with a mural of trees and sky inhabited by a tiger. View the adorableness that is Coco Tails.

Example of the boys bedding (not our nursery).

Next we headed down the peninsula to Direct Buy to find bargains. Success! Grandma Janet bought the babies (and their likely very tired mother) a glider. She also surprised us with two additional Coco Tails minky blankets. No, I don’t know what a minky is either – but the blanket is adorable.

Food was absolutely necessary at this point as each of the above paragraphs took about an hour each to achieve. Nobody would share where they wanted to go, so I picked P.F. Changs Chinese food. The expedition crew didn’t seem thrilled about this, but everyone was hungry and I don’t think anyone had a better idea – or at least didn’t want to argue with the hungry pregnant lady. I tell you our lunch saga only to share the fortune’s Jon and I received in our cookies:

Tricia’s: “Good things come in small packages. Yours is coming!”

Jon’s: “Welcome the change coming soon into your life.”

Refreshed, reinvigorated and re-motivated, we steeled ourselves and entered Babies R Us. This is the scariest store known to mankind. 1) The one near our house in Sunnyvale, CA is haunted. (I am not making this up: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/ghosts/toysrus.asp.) 2) Everything has several brands and they try to sell you everything. 3) The salespeople are unhelpful and clueless.

The vast majority of their cribs received had an F ranking in my books and notes. One of the floor models was actually falling apart in plain view. Jon took this opportunity to wander over to the attached Toys R Us to investigate the new generation of automatic Nerf guns (now with 35 ball capacity!) Still a successful outing – we purchased two infant car seats. Ah, are you now remembering that we have to buy two of everything? Fun!

As it was now 4:15 p.m. PT, we made a break to escape from the haunted overwhelming toy store and dash over to Babyland – a baby furniture store that has been a fixture in not-the-greatest-area San Jose. (It is located directly next to the “world famous Pink Poodle,” San Jose’s strip club.)

Babyland may well indeed carry every single baby crib option ever made. Even more than the three city blocks worth in Lullaby Lane! We found our crib(s). Jon plans to return this week to pick them up. Already!

The dogs have already thoroughly sniffed and investigated the assembled car seat (yes, Jon put it together already), which is currently protecting the safety of a very fuzzy bunny Great-Grandma Winnie sent for the Easter holiday. And frighteningly not that much smaller than a newborn.

There is now a baby registry in existence. I’m still not sure if we’re missing anything or actually need everything on it. I guess the twins will let us know when the time comes.

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April 1, 2010

The Twins Achieve Celebrity Status at an Early Age!

Is Tricia Stream showing baby bumps?

Yahoo! – 1 hour, 39 minutes ago

LITTLE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH?? Is Tricia Stream expecting a little bundle of joy? Tricia had a noticeable baby bump when seen leaving Pizza Hut in Denton last week.

“Now I know why she looked so cute and happy when I saw her at our kids’ elementary school prom!” said Eliza Dushku, when asked about her long-time confidante. The rumor has already gotten paparazzi following Stream each dawn as she walks her pet gnu Hobo on her estate in Spokane.

“I’m pregnant? Who knew?! I had friends from Mobile visiting last week, and we ate out more than that we should have,” said Tricia. But you read it here first – come February, we’re going to see a baby Stream. Or two.

Read more…

April Fool’s, of course – but this is the article that ran on the Yahoo! ZOMG site today. It’s a celebrity tabloid madlibs.

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March 29, 2010

Halfway There

Today marks the 19th week of pregnancy. Various calendars, books, Web sites, etc all claim different weeks to be half way. I have decided to mark today as the half way point since a typical pregnancy is 40 weeks and twins are considered full term at 36 weeks. So I’ve averaged the two points.

It was a rough start. Jon commented, “You mean we now have to go through this amount of time again? Seems like we should be done now.” I concur.

half·way

Pronunciation: ˈhaf-ˈwā, ˈhäf-

Function: adjective

Date: 1694

1 : midway between two points 
2 : partial

— halfway adverb

The boys are starting to kick. Ok, they’ve been kicking, but I’m starting to feel them kicking. Some research suggests that the twinkies have now reached a point where they may be able to now hear voices (I have no idea what “some research” is, so I can’t cite it for you). Nevertheless, I have commenced reading aloud and conversing with them. Out of instinctual motherly love, I shall refrain from singing a happy tunes when the mood strikes (Auntie Ivy, however, is very much on the hook for this one).

Upon further consideration, and the fact that I am no longer arfing daily, has made me realize that instead of “we’re only half way,” “we’ve made it half way!”

  • If I were running, I’d have finished a half-marathon already.
  • If I were in college, I’d have finished two of three quarters already.
  • If I had a box of See’s candy, I’d discover there is a whole additional layer of chocolaty goodness under the protective brown bubble wrap.
  • If I discovered a 50% off sale, I’d be getting a great deal on a maternity dress.
  • If I were an athlete, I’d be in the All-Star game now.

Next milestone – shopping for baby stuff. I shall be sure to update you all on the trek through that jungle.

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March 22, 2010

Hello, My Name is Scrambled Eggs

We know there are two of the rascals. And now we know they’re both boys. So naturally, the question of the hour is – what are you going to call them?

Right now, we call them “the twins.” I started calling them River and Creek. Thanks to an off-the-cuff remark from Jon, my brother has begun referring to them as Rocky and Bullwinkle. The doctors call them Baby A and B. And as life has come full circle from a code a friend and I created in the seventh grade – they’ve earned the oh-so-clever nicknames Boy A and Boy B.

Yet, as amusing as all those are, none fit the bill for a lifetime. (Boys, you can thank me later – after you’ve read this blog archived on some super-micro processor tech thing.) For the record, we’re not telling anyone until they’re born. That way everyone with “oh no, I knew somebody named that who . . .” will feel too guilty to say anything.

My grandmother never loved her name – Winifred Welker. She recalls working at an escrow company where clients would call and ask to speak “with the Pooh.” My mom has been in education her entire life; she has an unlimited list of “oh no, I knew somebody named that who . . .” stories. Naturally, both of them have taken on the naming quest with unmatchable zeal.

“What about family names? How about Leo?” my mother inquired. “My grandfather’s name was Raymond Leonard.” I made it clear that we were not naming our son after their dog.

My brother has focused on one particular name. He has begged and pleaded that Jon and I not name our child Andrew as that is the name he wants to name his future son. Here, I would like to note to my unmarried brother, “It’s good to be the oldest.” =)

Children seem to have an uncanny ability to adapt to their names as well – just to add additional pressure on the parents. One of my girlfriends named her son Henry James Harrison. I know, sounds like the next Supreme Court Justice to me too. And Henry (age 18 months) isn’t wasting any time – on a recent trip with them, Henry began waving at passengers in the airport terminal, shaking hands with passengers waiting to board and hugging babies. So we’ll need two very successful names.

According to one of the many baby Web sites with never-ending advice, there are eight major baby-naming no-nos.

1.     The nickname trap – Finnegan is out. Finn Stream just sounds funny.

2.     Embarrassing initials – Looks like my brother doesn’t have to worry about Andrew Scott Stream.

3.     A lifetime of corrections – I know I’m a horrible speller. Don’t worry, we promise to use standard spellings.

4.     Over-popularity – I had six Jonathans in my elementary class. And we’re not doing a Junior.

5.     Problematic name pairings – Hunter is out. As are any rhyming names.

6.     Humiliating e-mail handles – I’m not terribly concerned with this one as who knows what technology they’ll be dealing with in the coming decades.

7.     Names not to live up to – Yahoo! quickly cleared up this dilemna. Although there are a lot of streams in our world named after people.

8.     So-so meanings – The nursery has a Calvin and Hobbes mural, but Calvin means bald, so we won’t be going literal.

It’s nice to note that we already know the names of both of our sons. One of Jon’s favorite mantras is “Poor Planning Produces Poor Product.” We’ve planned early; we’re organized and ready for their arrival (well, at least when it comes to signing the birth certificates.)

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March 19, 2010

Avere Molti Bambini Maschili!

We had another one of our regularly scheduled ultrasounds. Standard, typical, move along folks – nothing to see here. Until the tech’s mild mannered inquiry . . .

“Are you guys keeping the gender a secret?”

“Nope.” I replied, barely letting her finish her sentence. “If you know something, we would very much so like to know that same something.” (I think Jon rolled his eyes at me here.)

“Ok. This one looks like a boy.” (Note: during the ultrasounds, they examine each baby individually for size and other interesting medical tidbits. The majority of the time is generally spent trying to get Baby B to sit still.) Jon and I agreed it very much looked like a boy. When pressed though, the tech told us she wasn’t allowed to make a definitive statement. I wasn’t concerned, there didn’t appear to be much room for error.

We moved on to Baby B. After several failed still photo attempts, we watched a slo-mo version of the tracking video as the technician commented, “This one appears to be a boy as well.”

Two boys!

The doctor came in shortly thereafter to chat with us and review the images/movies. She shared that our technician has never been wrong about the gender because she won’t guess if she’s not certain. Suddenly she gave a very hearty laugh from behind her computer investigation. (Any unexpected reactions from medical personnel unnerve me.)

“They are most definitely boys! No question about that.”

Two boys! I grinned. Jon looked at me and said, “Put up the tent. It’s gonna be a circus.”

I called my Dad at work. It doesn’t take a genius to know he was going to be excited. He picked up the phone sounding slightly concerned about why I was calling him at work (when I should also be at work).

“Hi Dad.” I said calmly. I’m at work, so I obviously can’t talk long, but I thought you’d be interested to know that you’re going to have two grandsons in August.” I actually had to pull the phone away from my ear as he started screaming.

“Due boys! Due boys!” he shrieked repeatedly. He was so excited he couldn’t even keep his languages straight . . .

Others had more muted reactions – but everyone appears excited about the little rascals.

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Four Months and Counting

March 17, 2010 - Four Months Pregnant

Jon grinned and gave me a huge smile. “It’s so cute!” he said staring at my tummy. I smiled back at him.

“You’re HUGE!” I stopped smiling.

In my (potentially overly hormone induced) opinion, I do not think I am huge. I think I look like I am four months pregnant with twins.

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March 16, 2010

It’s a New Generation – One with Many Ultrasounds

Most parents-to-be have three or four ultrasounds throughout their entire pregnancy. I’m approaching twenty. I suppose one might consider that a perk of being “high risk,” we get to see the twins quite often. It’s like pre-natal Skype.

They are quite photogenic. Being our firstborn, it’s already expected that they’ll be photographed ad nauseum by sleep-deprived, overly excitable parents (“Look honey! He drooled! Isn’t that the cutest thing ever?!”), proud grandparents and their legions of enamored aunties and uncles (“How sweet. Your children are reading The Three Musketeers at only 7 months.”) So, we got them started early.

Prepping for the next Kodak moment.

Our first snapshot clearly shows a snowy television screen that the doctor tried to pass off as a “photo.” We have more images a week later distinctly portraying the lima beans (blinking lima beans in the motion picture version). A couple weeks and about 47 Polaroid’s later, I am pleased to share that Baby A waved at me!

“Look! He’s waving. My child is obviously a genius!” I was grinning from ear to ear. The ultrasound technician calmly explained that the little ones were far to undeveloped to do anything conscious, and were obviously just exhibiting jerking reflexes. I eyed her warily, trying to convey the notion that she seriously needed to stay out of my hormonal fantasy world.

As we rounded the first trimester and sprinted into the second, the twins have really begun to show their personalities (I continue to reject the reality of ultrasound technicians and substitute my own much more interesting one). Baby A is generally very content to suck his thumb with the occasional wave to the camera. He turns and stretches as the mood strikes with an “I can’t be bothered with the paparazzi” attitude.

Baby B is a bit more . . . rambunctious. I’m pretty sure I saw him punch Baby A at one point. It’s actually been quite difficult to get a still photo of Baby B. Every time the camera tries to freeze frame, for something like a medical measurement, Baby B thinks it’s hilarious to jerk and move away as quickly as possible. We also think he’s had the hiccups several times. Flailing about, clearly warming up for as many 90-foot sprints as possible, Baby B is clearly the frontrunner in the mischievous category.

Jon and I can’t wait to meet them. Stay tuned for the next post – we’ll give you an early introduction too.

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February 2, 2010

You Want a Family? You’re Going to Have a Family!

Getting the News:

At 9 a.m. the nurse called me. “I’ve got some good news.”

Jon and I are going to be parents! After several weeks of guarded optimism Jon and I arrived back at the doctor’s office to see our little lima bean at six weeks old. After what seemed like an eternity with the ultrasound doo-hickey (get to the baby already!) the nurse said, “Well, you have two healthy little heartbeats.”

“Are there children attached to both of them?!” I blurted? Jon’s jaw just dropped.

Sharing the News:

It was a very merry Christmas in the Stream household. Our last Christmas season as “the kids.” (This may even warrant a move to the grown-up table at family dinners!)

We decided to share the news in person with our families. I wrapped up the book “Chicken Soup for the Grandma’s Soul” and gave it to my mom. She smiled immediately and cried, “I knew it!” (She didn’t.) The new Grandpa looked quizzically at the book. “Why’d you get your mother a cookbook?” (Read the whole title Dad . . .) Jon presented his parents with the ultrasound photo. Grandma Nancy squealed. Both uncles, Paul and Jeffrey, were instructed to start warming up their rotator cuffs.

Then after an eternity and the blink of an eye, it was time to share the news with our friends. We live and work in the heart of the Silicon Valley, so why not take the high-tech social media route. We each posted the news on Facebook.

Jon wrote, “So I’ve been told it’s not a secret anymore, so here goes. Tricia is pregnant . . .with TWINS!”

I followed up with the news as well, “So the rumors are true. Jon and I are expecting Baby #2 in August. Baby #1 is due several minutes before Baby #2.”

We always knew we wanted a family. We just never expected an instant family all at once. In the wise words of Jon, “Put up the tent, it’s going to be a circus.”

The double trouble act comes to town this August. Get ready world!

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