Monthly Archives: June 2010

June 17, 2010

Rubber Ducky You’re the One

Well, let’s be serious – obviously no actual rubber duckies were involved. They’re about the same size as our pint-sized water baby.

Search had a bath earlier this week. This wasn’t his first foray into the suds, but it was the first such adventure with Mom and Dad. He is one slippery little dude. But it is clear that he is a fan of the water. Someday I bet it will only take one parent to bathe the baby, but for now it takes two (and the added advice from the nurse).

First, you wash the babies hair. My babies have lots of hair – enough to visibly have bed head. I have never seen Search looking so relaxed. He remained calm and cozy in his blanket while we massaged his little head. His body language clearly expressing the thought, “Yes, they all cater to ME.”

They all cater to ME

After ensuring the quality of his luxurious locks, we lowered the little man into his tub. Ever the fan of his food, he assisted by holding tightly to his feeding tube. One of us held the slippery squirmer as best we could and the other applied soap and water. I have no doubt that as he gets older, splashing will be de rigueur when it comes to bath time.

We did have to endure a bit of screaming. At first I thought he was scared or getting too much stimulation. But one of the bath rituals in the NICU involves removing the sensors. Since they’re attached with stickers, I imagine this part of tub time is a lot like having multiple band-aids ripped off. Yeah, I’d be cranky too.

Search – I apologize now. I’m sure you will be less than thrilled with these photos when you’re older. And I promise to take photos of Destroy’s first bath with Mom and Dad as well. Because who in the world could resist such precious soggy bottom boys.

During his prior dunking, the never satisfied to be still Search, gripped the sides of his tub so tightly that his nurse had a dickens of a time prying him loose. He then attempted to stand up. Search’s aqua affinity from his bathing adventures present three possibilities: (1) You are currently reading about the next Michael Phelps, (2) Search feels his crawling efforts are beneath him and it’s time to walk or (3) how difficult could it really be to walk on water?

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June 16, 2010

Red Light, Green Light

We bought a new car today. And with a heavy heart, I said goodbye to my trusty 1998 Honda Accord.

Farewell Friend

Sadly, this new car process turned out to be an all day event (broken up by our visits to the boys, of course) so today’s originally scheduled blog post has been postponed until tomorrow. But don’t fret – now you also get to look forward to reading about the whole new car back-story.

PS. I now drive a 2011 white Honda Pilot. Yes, I’m an SUV mom now… In my defense, I do have two kids.

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June 14, 2010

The Big 3-0

Jon hit it in February. I’m rushing toward it in November. But today, it’s all about the twins. The big 3-0. Search and Destroy are 30 weeks along today. Even though they’re only two weeks old, they’re considered 30 weeks since preemies have an adjusted age based on their expected due date.

Both show extreme spirit, so if all continues along this path health-wise we hope to have them home in about six weeks. This morning Destroy was sleeping soundly on his tummy when the doctor came to examine him. Much to Destroy’s dismay, the doc put him back on his back. Destroy proceeded to squirm and fidget up the side of his bunting to return to his tummy. His half cries/squeaks clearly stated, “Put me back the way you found me!”

In contrast, his brother is working to perfect his little angel eyes. During Kangaroo time, Search likes to pull his head back and look up at us. It’s sweet, but it also correlates to a drop in his heart rate so we discourage it. Today when I went to turn his head, he looked up at me – eyes wide open and both tiny hands tucked under his chin – with a perfect “I could never do anything wrong” expression. Apparently, no one told our little inchworm Search (who decided to celebrate today by bringing his weight up to 1,030 grams) that he’s still too young to leave the NICU.

Search has also progressed from merely scootching his little tushy straight up in the air to adding an arched back and pressing himself forward. He is developing quite a repertoire, what with the previously acquired tube-ripping-out talent. Naturally, he still can’t crawl (though he’s sure trying) so he has turned himself into the Hungry Caterpillar. At this rate, I highly doubt he’ll be all that far behind his peers in the mobility category.

Both boys continue to tolerate their feedings extremely well. Out of all the wires they keep trying to rip out, the one they don’t seem to mind is the feeding tube. Instead of pouting and pulling at it, they simply lovely wrap their little fingers around the feeding tube and hold on tightly. I am envisioning many future trips to Costco with two growing boys in the house. Rumor has it bottle feeding may be as soon as two weeks away.

Luckily, we seem to be trending upward in size. We’ve been expecting their weight to start rising since they’re doing so well with their food. (Well, the nutrients they retain and don’t poop out.) As I mentioned, Search has plumped up to 1,030 grams and Destroy is up to 1,055 (about 2.3 pounds each).

All these feedings bring us right back around to pooping. The twins also excel at pottying. (Oh, are they going to love me for this blog when they’re older.) Regularity shows the nurses and doctors that their little gastrointestinal tracts are functioning properly. Both my little men are in big boy diapers. At first I worried that their gastrointestinal tracts were functioning too well – I thought they might never gain weight based on the not-so-little gifts wrapped so nicely in the aforementioned big boy diapers.

Yesterday, I changed Search’s diaper after I held him – he was quite wet. The nurse suggested we turn him onto his tummy to tuck him in for the night. (Both Search and Destroy love sleeping on their tummies and can do so because of the 24/7 monitoring in the NICU.) In the few seconds it took me to flip the little squirmer, his diaper was fully soiled. And I do mean that literally. His diaper was full – practically soaked through the outside. The nurse took one whiff, smiled and said, “That’s all you mom.”

Jon and I are getting quite good at diaper changing. But the boys are also getting more creative. When changing Destroy’s wet diaper yesterday, I put a new diaper under him and picked up the wipes. When I looked back, his bed bunting was soaked. Not just one small area – the entire bunting was a misty yellow. The fresh diaper, on the other hand, completely bone dry. Little Destroy had managed to pee out the side of his diaper. Medical professionals say they’re too young for emotions and that it’s likely just gas – but I still say Destroy smiled. He seemed pretty pleased with the mess he made.

It’s still rough – being in parenting limbo. But with each day, I’m starting to feel more like a parent. We’ve got our routine down and I’m learning the boys signs (like an apnea episode is a pretty clear sign that someone needs their diaper changed). Both are opening their eyes a lot more. And even if they can still only see hazy shapes, it’s heartwarming to think they’re looking to see that their parents are visiting.

Although, Search may also be looking to find the best escape route…

Search: 30 Weeks

Destroy: 30 Weeks

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June 12, 2010

Postpartum Pounds

Every morning I get up and get ready for the day. These days each morning is spent preparing to visit the muppets. And it’s getting harder and harder to decide what to wear.

I’m certainly not trying to get dressed up for them. Just trying to find clothes that fit. I have reached that very awkward size stage where maternity clothes are too large but I can’t yet squeeze back into my pre-partum pants. Sad really – because the boys haven’t even reached the developmental stage of spit-up yet.

Even though I gave birth to twins, I only gained 20 pounds (ignoring the hormonal weight gained prior to pregnancy). This is largely attributed to my distinct lack of a third trimester, which I’ve heard is where mom and babies spend three months accumulating fat.

In the two weeks since Search and Destroy’s arrival, I’ve lost my little pregnancy tummy. The weight appears to have migrated elsewhere on my body. All for the betterment of my boys… As we wait for them to grow up big and strong, I am allowed to walk.

Being mobile again is wonderful! After six weeks on bedrest, getting going again was more difficult than I anticipated. I have now accepted that the 2010 Nike Women’s Marathon is not in my future. Given their isolette attitudes, I’m sure I’ll be running the equivalent of ultra-marathons once the boys are home and mobile. Initially, I got lightheaded walking from the hospital entrance to the NICU. But that’s where my boys are – so to the NICU go I.

Today I thought I’d attempt a walk around the block. But then I decided that a walk in 90 degree weather might not be the best decision. I had a nectarine instead. (Oh, McDonald’s, how I’ll miss thee – but my allegiance now lies with Old MacDonald and his farm.)

Many people ask how I’m doing. My standard answer is “worried about the boys.” My attitude generally correlates with the twins’ daily prognosis. It’s a good thing they’re doing well. How am I doing physically? Fine, I suppose. To be honest, I never really paid attention to the whole physical aspect of the surgery. I had over four pounds of other concern.

So aside from looking a little funny in my pants these days, I’m doing great. As I’ve mentioned before, the boys are little fighters. And with that – I’m off to pump and visit the NICU. Someday I’ll be back to the size you all remember. Until then, two little men are awaiting my appearance…

My Little Man Search

My Little Man Destroy

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June 11, 2010

Two Weeks

It’s been two weeks since the twins arrived. The time has passed by in the blink of an eye and taken forever at the same time. No, you’re not experiencing déjà vu – this is just how the One Week post began. It still holds true.

Search and Destroy have now been residents of the NICU for the same length of time as my final hospital stay with them. Overall, they are doing really well. There continue to be some of the ups and downs we were warned about, but they don’t get any easier.

Search: Two weeks

Search is very ready to be a big boy. He remains our little mover – scooting around his isolette and practicing pushups. He has taken to arching his back to take a good look at us when we hold him. As Dr. Yuri pointed out, “he has a genetic disposition to make sure everyone is clear about how he feels.” Stubborn and spirited, his brother may be taking cues from him. Unfortunately, this week that meant breathing issues.

Destroy: Two weeks

Destroy has been dealing with a lot of apnea of prematurity this week. This is the medical term that means our baby has stopped breathing. Based on my vast quantities of medical knowledge – gleaned entirely from seasons of ER, Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice – I know that after they make their grand world entrance, babies must breathe continuously to get oxygen. But in our little dudes (since they’re younger than 34 weeks) the part of the brain that controls breathing is not mature enough to remember nonstop breathing is required.

Neither the doctors nor any of the nurses seem to think this is a big deal. Every day they reassure us that he’ll grow out of it. I am beginning to believe them based on his behavior when he is not thoroughly chilling out. In order to give him a little extra oomph, he gets a bit of extra air encouragement. This week, due to an increase in episodes, Destroy got socked with the CPAP.

As noted in the NICU 101 post, the CPAP uses small tubes fitted into Destroy’s nostrils to push a continuous flow of air to help keep tiny air passages in his lungs open. It is usually secured to his head by a ridiculous looking sock hood. Destroy does not like the CPAP. At all. Even a little. In fact, I would venture to state that Destroy hates the CPAP.

Yesterday, it took two nurses to hold the little two-pounder down while the respiratory therapist fitted Destroy with the contraption. According to his nurse, with wax-on wax-off karate kid-like strength, Destroy fought with all of his being to keep the blasted thing off. Yes little man, you are indeed your mother’s son (see Missing: My Sense of Humor post).

Mom and Destroy

Today, he’s back on the nasal cannula. The doctor pointed out he just seems much happier. And by happier, I’m pretty sure she means “not ripping tubes from his nose while howling at the nurses.” When I held him this afternoon, he seemed very content. We have also begun noticing a pattern that many of the apnic episodes occur as Destroy poops. A multi-tasker he is not – of course, given the size of said poops, I suppose his forgetfulness is understandable.

Dad and Search

Since they’re now tolerating full feedings and consuming a whopping 127 calories per day, they are expected to start gaining weight soon (provided they don’t poop out all potential gain). I am more than ready for my little muppets to get bigger. As hard as it is to picture, they’ll allegedly gain more than three pounds over the next month. How funny that we’re excited to see chubby five-pound babies.

In any case, I know there will be many more frustrating phases to deal with. Both now in the NICU and throughout their lives. Gramma J – you got your wish. I have two sons just like me. And I couldn’t be more in love with the stubborn and spirited little men.

Stream Two Week Family Photo

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June 9, 2010

What’s in a Name?

The neonatologists at Kaiser’s NICU are all fabulous. They are dedicated to making sure our little ones are getting the best care. They always take the time to stop and talk about the boys progress when they see us – despite having a specialty focused on little tiny babies who can’t talk back.

Search and Destroy’s doctors always seem to be in a good mood when they come to check out the twins. Naturally, they must be smiling because of how well the twins are doing and how special they are.

Mostly, I’m impressed with their ability to communicate with super stressed out parents. And for the past week and a half, they have continuously reassured us that, even though watching our sons struggle, they are doing well and will eventually outgrow their allegedly minor issues. (Breathing still seems to be a relatively major issue in my book – but I’m not a tiny baby specialist.)

Throughout it all, the doctors have kept their sense of humor. After each test, our current attending physician Dr. Yuri Knauer will explain what they’ve just looked at and what it means. Last Friday, after a standard brain ultrasound, Dr. Knauer nonchalantly started washing his hands, looked over his shoulder and asked, “So has anyone given you the good news about the brain scans yet?” And each day, Dr. Knauer has ended our conversation with, “So, nothing to worry about. They’re just still tiny.” He’s always smiling – positive and reassuring even when the info doesn’t sound good to me at all.

When Search and Destroy were two days old, we met Dr. McOmber. Again with the smiles, he inquired if the boys had names other than “Stream, Male Twin A” and the equally original “Stream, Male Twin B.” I was more than happy to educate him. After having kept the twins names a secret for so long, I felt everyone should know the NICU’s newest star residents by name.

Gesturing to the little man I was visiting with, I introduced “Stream, Male Twin B” as our little Destroy. Dr. McOmber paused. Then with a giant goofy grin, he pointed to his nametag saying, “Heyyyyy, that’s MY name!” I was pleased; added incentive to make sure his namesake patient thrived.

Yesterday, Dr. Yuri was giving his daily report to Dr. Destroy as the NICU transitioned from the day shift over to night. Dr. Yuri started to explain how Destroy was doing. Then he stopped. With a slow turn and sly grin he peered over at Dr. Destroy. “Did you have something to do with his name?”

Dr. Destroy very rightly noted that the shared name is awesome. Which is, unsurprisingly enough, precisely why we picked it. Jon joked that Destroy probably isn’t the most popular name in Dr. Yuri’s native Russia. “Only girly boys,” retorted the doctor.

Which was pretty funny considering he followed that statement up by letting us know that Yuri is quite popular in Russia – it’s a form of George, meaning farmer. But apparently, Yuri is also quite popular in Japan. It’s a girl’s name there, meaning lily.

In that short exchange, the doctors got Jon and I smiling and feeling quite at ease. It certainly helped that Dr. Yuri finished his report, concluding, “So, no big deal – they’re easy boys.”

Search, the burrito baby

Destroy (with a CPAP)

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NICU 101

The other day I was sitting with my little muppets while I spoke with the nurses about their development. I ask them about breathing, heart rates, feeding, weight and general attitude on a daily basis.

Linguo: Not a NICU term.

But as you’ve seen, the boys were also both born with full heads of dark hair. This may be due to generally fabulous genes, but some of their hair could also be the result of their prematurity. According to my research, this hair will disappear as they get bigger. (Doesn’t it seem like everything happens “as they get bigger”? I guess that’s the whole “premature” concept…) Out of curiosity, I asked how long we could expect the linguo to last.

Jon later pointed out that Linguo was the name of Lisa Simpson’s grammar correcting robot in a Simpson’s episode. I was trying to find out how long the lanugo – a fine downy hair on developing babies – would last (33-34 weeks gestation).

Since I am still getting confused even though we visit the NICU twice a day, talk to the doctors and nurses as much as possible before coming home and researching things further, I thought I’d share some of the common NICU terms and concepts surrounding Search and Destroy’s development.

Please add your own in the comments or let me know what you’re interested in and I’ll add the definition to this post. (Definitions below pulled from preemiecare.org.)

Adjusted Age: Also known as corrected age, is a term used most appropriately to describe children up to 3 years of age who were born preterm, “corrected age” or “adjusted age” is calculated by subtracting the number of weeks born before 40 weeks of gestation from the chronological age.
(Search and Destroy were 12 weeks premature.)

Apgar Score: A scoring system that helps the physician estimate a baby’s general condition at birth. An acronym for A- activity, P-pulse, G-grimace, A- appearance, R-respiration. The test measures a baby’s heart rate, breathing, muscle tone, reflex response and color at 1 minute, 5 minutes and 10 minutes of life. Named after its creator, Virginia Apgar, in 1952.
(Search and Destroy both got a 5/8.)

Apnea: A pause in breathing that lasts longer than 15- 20 seconds. Apnea of Prematurity occurs in infants born before 34 weeks gestation. Because the brain or respiratory system may be immature or underdeveloped, the baby may not be able to regulate his or her own breathing normally.
(This may be normal/typical – but it’s scary as all get out. Destroy is struggling with this right now.)

Beta-methasone: Corticosteroid medication given to the mother before the baby is born to stimulate fetal lung maturation and to decrease the frequency and damage from intracranial hemorrhage in premature infants.
(These are the aforementioned steroids Search and Destroy received.)

Bilirubin: Bilirubin is a breakdown product of hemoglobin, the substance in blood that carries oxygen. Normally bilirubin passes through the liver and is excreted as bile through the intestines. Jaundice occurs when bilirubin builds up faster than a newborn’s liver can break it down and pass it from the body.
(Preventative treatment for Jaundice is why the boys look like they’re at a rave in some of their earlier pictures.)

Bradycardia: A heart rate less than 100, slower than normal for an infant.
(This seems to go hand-in-hand with the apnea episodes.)

Breast Pump: A machine to collect breast milk without the baby present. A hospital- grade breast pump is often more powerful than those for home use, and may be available for rental.
(I am the Dairy Queen!)

Cannula: A slender tube that can be inserted into a body cavity or duct.
(The boys have thus far been consistently on and off a cannula of the nasal variety.)

Complete Blood Count (CBC): Blood test that looks at the number and type of white blood cells, the concentration of hemoglobin, the percentage of blood volume consisting of red blood cells (hematocrit), and the number of platelets.
(Search and Destroy have both had several of these. Doctors order them to rule out infections or other issues. Typical diagnosis: “They’re tiny.”)

Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP): Through small tubes that fit into the baby’s nostrils, called nasal CPAP, this machine pushes a continuous flow of air or oxygen to the airways to help keep tiny air passages in the lungs open.
(Search and Destroy have been on and off of this machine as well. It encourages them to remember to breathe.)

Electro- cardiogram (EKG): An adhesive patch placed anywhere on the body, and connected by a wire to a monitor, used to detect heart rate, respirations, or blood oxygen levels.
(Destroy had one of these yesterday because of his bradycardia episodes. It was positively terrifying to see all the little patches on his tiny body. Diagnosis: “He’s tiny.”)

Gavage Feeding: A method of feeding a baby with breast milk or formula before he has learned how to swallow. A small flexible tube is placed into a baby’s nostril or mouth and passed down into the stomach.
(The boys are big fans of food – regardless of how they get it at this point.)

Incubator/ Isolette: A heat-controlled crib used to maintain a baby’s body temperature.
(Baby jail.)

Kangaroo Care: Holding a baby against one’s naked chest, so there is skin-to-skin contact.
(See Kangaroo Kare post.)

Lanugo: Fine, downy hair that covers the fetus until shortly before or after birth.

Monitor: A machine that records information such as heartbeat, body temperature, respiration rate, and blood pressure.
(They beep. A lot.)

Nasal Cannula: The “oxygen tubes” that give extra oxygen by blowing moisturized oxygen, possibly mixed with air, into the nose.
(See “cannula.” Both Search and Destroy receive standard room air through this “oxygen tube.”)

Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU): There are three levels of NICUs: Level 3: Cares for any infant (at any age of gestation) that may have or could have severe or life threatening conditions. Level 2: Any newborn that may require monitoring after birth and requires more than routine newborn care. Level 1: Routine newborn care. Usually for full term infants, there may not be specialized equipment or physicians for problems.
(Kaiser Santa Clara is a Level 3 care center. Thank goodness.)

Neonatologist: Physician with 10 years of training specialized in dealing with the diseases and care of newborn infants.
(A big thank you to Drs. Lawrence Dong, Yuri Knauer, Preeti Patel, Anupama Shetty, Richard Vanwoerkom and Carlene Wong for taking such great care of our little ones.)

Percutaneous Line (PICC): Also called percutaneously inserted central catheter or PICC line, this is a long catheter placed into a surface vein, with the catheter tip extending farther into the body into a large central vein. Doesn’t have to be replaced as often as a regular IV line.
(Once the boys got their PICC lines, we got to start Kangaroo Kare. Now that they’re eating so well, the lines are already gone.)

Severe Prematurity: Also known as very premature, refers to babies born from 28 weeks through 31 weeks gestation.
(The twins were technically born at 27.5 weeks, but we’ve upgraded them to 28 since they were only two days short of the coveted third trimester.)

Very Low Birth Weight (VLBW): Very low birth weight infants weigh less than 1500 grams or 3lbs 5 oz.
(Search weighed in at 970 grams and Destroy was born at 1005 grams.)

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June 8, 2010

Draft Eligible

We are in the midst of the 2010 MLB Draft. Held via conference call among all 30 clubs, the Major League Baseball First-Year Player Draft occurs every year in June. After missing the call for the past eight years, Dad has decided to hang ‘em up – passing the torch to his young sons.

Search appears to be taking this responsibility very seriously. We know he will not be called to the show any time in the near future due to his current ineligibility – given his age and recent steroid use. But it’s never too early to start practicing. Continue reading →

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June 6, 2010

Feed Me Seymour

So I can grow up big and strong!

(Disclaimer: Despite the current surge in bloodsucker popularity, I do not have vampire children. I just thought the “Little Shop of Horrors” theme fit this post.)

The boys are tolerating increased amounts of milk very well. Fingers crossed that they continue to do so well. I just knew my children were perfect! Now that they are at the ripe old age of over one week old, their doctors are increasing the amount of milk they eat by 2ml every three hours. Tonight, they receive their last dose of IV nutrients – TPN and lipids. Yum, fat!

I know that feeding is the next hurdle our little preemies are challenged with. The nurses again noted the two steps forward, one step back concept. It all depends on the strength of their tummies and performance of their insides.

Rumor has it, once they’ve reached the top level (20ml) – and continue to tolerate it – that is when they start to get big and strong, fast! Naturally, both Search and Destroy already proved how strong and determined they are (stubborn – just like mom). But there really is no decent debate to legitimately argue they’re big. Let’s face it – two pounds is just tiny. (Even if you are reading this at 6’5” boys.)

I’m really looking forward to the getting chubby phase of development. Ideally, increase in weight and size correlates directly with outgrowing apnea and bradycardia. At that time, Search and Destroy will start co-bedding as well. They’ll get a real crib to share – instead of their current incubators. I can only imagine they miss each other. Born so early, they were rudely ripped away from both mommy and each other. I have no doubt being together again will make them thrive – right after Search gets in another kick to his brother’s head…

Until then, we visit the boys every day. We indulge in Kangaroo Kare, which both of the boys seem to truly love. We talk to them, telling them about daily events and occurrences outside the NICU bubble. Today it was a gorgeous 85 degree spring day – I described a future where I can see Jon and me playing catch with the boys in our backyard while the dogs run amuck on just such a day. (Well, maybe not with the dogs. Cooper’s likely faster than Search or Destroy will be at a young toddler age and he fancies himself the catch champion in the Stream household.)

And Jon and I talk to each other. Often we just repeat what we’ve just heard as we head home for a few brief hours. Sometimes we try and analyze the non-verbal cues from the day’s debrief (yes, just like a pair of teenage girls). And when only one of us can make it to a particular visit, obviously we pass along the updates.

The hot topic du jour is pooping. Pooping means they’re processing their food and their insides are working. A typical dinner conversation will, in fact, include the question, “Did he poop today?” For those inquiring minds, both boys are pooping well – Destroy is doing so well, he’s been upgraded to size 2 diapers. They are about the same size as Destroy, but they hold more poop.

Destroy and the Diaper

Even if they are still so so tiny, I can tell they’re growing every day. Search is already up over his birth weight and Destroy isn’t far off from his. Today, I kissed Destroy’s little nose and noticed tiny little freckles I haven’t seen before – freckles just like his daddy has.

So, for now, I am proud to be the Dairy Queen. Every three hours for the sticky licky sweets they crave. That’s right boys, you can do it! Grow up big and strong.

Search as he grows

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June 5, 2010

One Week

It’s been one week since the twins arrived. The time has passed by in the blink of an eye and taken forever at the same time.

The routine we have developed is as follows:

9 a.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
9:30 a.m.: Morning visit to the NICU. Quiz the nurses on Search and Destroy’s progress and spend some family time with our boys.
12 p.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
12:30 p.m.: Attempt to run errands and eat lunch.
3 p.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
3:30 p.m.: Afternoon visit to the NICU. Call the NICU, letting them know we’re in the lobby and would like to be let in to see our boys. Kangaroo Kare! (Depending on how the boys are doing.)
6 p.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
6:30 p.m.: Pause to see if I will have a stress breakdown about how unfair life is for my babies.
7 p.m.: Attempt to clear items of household to-do list. (Usually a futile attempt.)
9 p.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
9:30 p.m.: Dinner-ish (Cereal counts.)
10 p.m.: Crash on whichever soft furniture item happens to be closest. Think about trying to muster energy for a blog post.
11 p.m.: Get ready for bed.
12 a.m.: Pump milk for the boys.
12:30 a.m.: Nap.
3 a.m.: Pump milk for the boys. Try in vain to remain upright and awake for said process.
3:30 a.m.: Nap.
6 a.m.: Become very confused about why an alarm is going off. Fall out of bed and pump milk for the boys.
6:15 a.m.: Discover Scout has been eating apples from our tree again by way of the doggie vomit on the nursery rug.
6:20 a.m.: Clean and curse.
6:30 a.m.: Nap.
9 a.m.: Rinse and repeat.

The boys routine changes slightly depending on their daily interaction with the neonatologist. The vast majority of their day is spent sleeping, although recently they’ve taken to opening their eyes quite a bit more. Today during Kanga time, Search would try to lift his head and look up at me with his eyes wide open. I know all they can allegedly see are out-of-focus hazy shapes, but I prefer to comfort myself with the thought that my boys are already little geniuses.

They also eat (via their feeding tube) every three hours, and an hour after mealtime is the standard coffee break. (Yes, the boys get dosed with caffeine. After all those months that moms spend avoiding it, it’s the first thing a preemie gets.)

Search and Destroy are doing very well. All the doctors and nurses warned us, as par for the course in a preemie’s development, parents should expect to see two steps forward and one step back. During these first weeks, the lesson is breathing.

Due to their young age and tiny size, apnea and bradycardia are very common. Medically, this means an interruption in breathing and a slow heart rate, respectively. In reality, this means they forget to breathe on their own. Each of the twins is currently dealing with the aforementioned problems. Destroy currently has no air assistance, while Search has gone forward and back needing a little extra aid. Apparently, their lungs work fabulously but the extra help is a bit like a personal trainer helping them to strengthen the muscle tissue.

We are very focused on this lesson right now – breathing is very important. The NICU staff assures us that they fully expect Search and Destroy to pass Lung Functionality 101 by simply growing. Growing is to be expected when they start tolerating more and more milk. We expect eating to be heavily involved during the next phase – they need to convince their tiny tummies to process food. Multi-tasking won’t take place until NICU graduate levels.

Destroy: One Week

Search: One Week

It’s been one week. We’re hoping the next 7-11 weeks go smoothly. Then we can finally all be together as a family. And I can make the boys read this post when their teenagers and confident that they know everything – reminding them that at one point they didn’t even know they should keep breathing.

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