How do you explain Daylight Saving to a toddler?
Well honey, I know the sun is still shining bright outside. But it really is time for bed â€“ so I can wake you up far too early tomorrow morning. Because *most* of our country decides to change things up twice a year. Yes, you still have to go to bed now. Yes, that is a tiger on the wall. RAWR to you too.
In short â€“ you donâ€™t.
I am not a fan of these shenanigans. And my disdain for the time change long precedes the two small people wreaking havoc upon my home.
My alarm went off far too early Saturday morning. And by alarm I of course mean chattering muppets. I stumbled in to start our day.
â€œHi,â€ grinned a far too chipper Destroy before snorfeling and popping up with enough green goo emerging from his nose that I felt the need to take a moment and mourn the loss of Slimer, who had clearly met an untimely end.
â€œI have a lot of poop,â€ Search piped up.
I shall spare you the gruesome details (involving arms, legs, back, floor, brother and more). But my son was not lying. My plans for a lazy morning involving relaxation courtesy of coffee and Cars was immediately changed into HAZMAT Defcon 1.
I grabbed a container of wipes, an entire column of diapers. The stinky one was plonked into the bathtub while his brother bounced off the bathroom walls squealing, â€œEwwwâ€¦che puzza!!!â€ I then began a never-ending cycle of laundry involving every article of contaminated clothing and stuffed animals.
Poopslosion 2013 had kicked off the time change weekend. This was not helping my perception.
As further proof that zombies are among us (and obviously eaten my brains), I decided Sunday morning would be a great day to run an 8k race. Which of course meant I got no sleep because I didnâ€™t trust my clock to automatically change. As I freaked out at 1:40 a.m., Jon calmly shared that the change wasnâ€™t going to happen until 2 a.m. Huh.
It was effing COLD at 7 a.m. in the morning. It would have been a lot warmer an hour later. Thus proving my point.
There is no reason to observe Daylight Saving any longer. Who needs daylight that early in the morning? Thatâ€™s the whole reason Ben Franklin got electrocuted by that lightening bolt â€“ isnâ€™t it? Electricity for light whenever you want it.
(In Benâ€™s honor, we took the boys to fly a kite at the park.)
Now for those of you protesting that you prefer the late light evenings, calm down. I love them. Summer nights, outdoor barbeques, after dinner games of catch beneath the wisteria â€“ takes me to a serious happy place.
And I truly do appreciate the 70 degree sunny weather with which this yearâ€™s time change bestowed upon Northern California in order to woo me into to its good graces (as I looked at Facebook photos of friends snowshoeing â€“ that looked even colder than my race).
So. I propose to you. Let us all band together. And refuse to ever acknowledge another time change. Leave the clocks where they are now forever more.
Be like Hawaii â€“ where it is paradise. POWER TO THE PEOPLE! AND WELL-RESTED TODDLERS!
Whoâ€™s with me?!
Forget the wine. Pour the margaritas. And note to self â€“ next time, sleep in.