Zombie Apocalypse (aka Daylight Saving)

Dead Hand copy

How do you explain Daylight Saving to a toddler?

Well honey, I know the sun is still shining bright outside. But it really is time for bed – so I can wake you up far too early tomorrow morning. Because *most* of our country decides to change things up twice a year. Yes, you still have to go to bed now. Yes, that is a tiger on the wall. RAWR to you too.

In short – you don’t.

I am not a fan of these shenanigans. And my disdain for the time change long precedes the two small people wreaking havoc upon my home.

My alarm went off far too early Saturday morning. And by alarm I of course mean chattering muppets. I stumbled in to start our day.

“Hi,” grinned a far too chipper Destroy before snorfeling and popping up with enough green goo emerging from his nose that I felt the need to take a moment and mourn the loss of Slimer, who had clearly met an untimely end.

“I have a lot of poop,” Search piped up.

I shall spare you the gruesome details (involving arms, legs, back, floor, brother and more). But my son was not lying. My plans for a lazy morning involving relaxation courtesy of coffee and Cars was immediately changed into HAZMAT Defcon 1.

I grabbed a container of wipes, an entire column of diapers. The stinky one was plonked into the bathtub while his brother bounced off the bathroom walls squealing, “Ewww…che puzza!!!” I then began a never-ending cycle of laundry involving every article of contaminated clothing and stuffed animals.

Poopslosion 2013 had kicked off the time change weekend. This was not helping my perception.

As further proof that zombies are among us (and obviously eaten my brains), I decided Sunday morning would be a great day to run an 8k race. Which of course meant I got no sleep because I didn’t trust my clock to automatically change. As I freaked out at 1:40 a.m., Jon calmly shared that the change wasn’t going to happen until 2 a.m. Huh.

It was effing COLD at 7 a.m. in the morning. It would have been a lot warmer an hour later. Thus proving my point.

There is no reason to observe Daylight Saving any longer. Who needs daylight that early in the morning? That’s the whole reason Ben Franklin got electrocuted by that lightening bolt – isn’t it? Electricity for light whenever you want it.

(In Ben’s honor, we took the boys to fly a kite at the park.)

Kite

Now for those of you protesting that you prefer the late light evenings, calm down. I love them. Summer nights, outdoor barbeques, after dinner games of catch beneath the wisteria – takes me to a serious happy place.

And I truly do appreciate the 70 degree sunny weather with which this year’s time change bestowed upon Northern California in order to woo me into to its good graces (as I looked at Facebook photos of friends snowshoeing – that looked even colder than my race).

So. I propose to you. Let us all band together. And refuse to ever acknowledge another time change. Leave the clocks where they are now forever more.

Be like Hawaii – where it is paradise. POWER TO THE PEOPLE! AND WELL-RESTED TODDLERS!

Who’s with me?!

Forget the wine. Pour the margaritas. And note to self – next time, sleep in.

4 Comments

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4 Responses to Zombie Apocalypse (aka Daylight Saving)

  1. Nancy Welker Caracciolo

    Pooplosion 2013 – Great moniker! Tricia, I love your way with words.

    I hate DST too. I always feel hungover even if I hadn’t had a drop to drink in ages!

    I too am all for anything like Hawaii ( I think Auntie J would agree)

  2. Joanne Hamann

    Yes, Miss Nancy, I would! And I’m damn fine with leaving the clocks the way they are NOW – I love extra light in the evening!!!

    ps – sorry about the poop

  3. Alex

    I’m lucky—Daylight Savings Time is not honored in China. Can you imagine the horror if it was? Teaching primary school students at a boarding school, Monday is tough enough without the added craziness of a time change. My kids get out of sorts enough with just a fire drill or a power outage. A time change, too? No thank you.

  4. Mo

    Count me in! We just got them on a good nap/ sleep schedule to have to throw this time change in 🙁

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