{"id":757,"date":"2010-10-20T20:58:15","date_gmt":"2010-10-21T04:58:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=757"},"modified":"2010-10-20T20:58:15","modified_gmt":"2010-10-21T04:58:15","slug":"taking-on-bullying-through-the-color-purple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/taking-on-bullying-through-the-color-purple\/","title":{"rendered":"Taking on Bullying Through the Color Purple"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post initially appeared on the Yodeling Mamas<\/a> blog.<\/p>\n

I began researching bullying in 2004; I completed my Masters thesis on the subject in 2007. Bullying is a widespread issue – and one that does not simply end with childhood. In fact, my thesis examined bullying in adults. But the post below was written to bring attention to schoolyard bullying after the suicides of several young men.<\/p>\n

We wear purple today in honor of the recent lives lost. And to offer hope, so that no mother has to bury her son because he felt shame or worthlessness – whether that be because he was gay or simply deemed different by his peers during a defining time in his life.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

I wore purple today.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>You may have seen the meme going around the Internet:\u2028On Oct. 20, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the six gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks\/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes and at their schools.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bullying is a phenomenon that happens within most aspects of life \u2014 from childhood through adulthood. I believe most people would agree that bullying is an unpleasant situation, but people have differing opinions on what constitutes bullying.<\/p>\n

Most individual definitions of bullying are based on personal memories developed during the emotional warfare of childhood. A 1996 study assumed that all children were somehow involved in childhood bullying practices, whether through direct participation or observation.<\/p>\n

I polled a small group of college students to see how they defined the subject. Their responses included themes of negative acts in which the goal is to make \u201cthe bully\u201d feel superior and the \u201cbullyee\u201d feel threatened.\u00a0 Examples included picking on kids (typically the same group every time), teasing, stealing from them and beating them up; physically making people feel bad about themselves; psychologically intimidating or hurting another person; and purposely exclude another in order to gain a sense of power and respect. Each person I spoke with had his or her own interpretation of how to define the occurrence.<\/p>\n

Perhaps this was a reflection of the widely held stereotypes of gender in the bullying process \u2014 boys as physically aggressive anonymous bullies versus girls as covert and subtle manipulators.<\/p>\n

In the spirit of the current MLB playoffs, let\u2019s use baseball as a metaphor: A pitcher on the baseball field uses a variety of pitches against his or her opponent.\u00a0 A fastball provides a metaphor for the notion of masculine bullying.\u00a0 The ball is thrown hard, fast and directly towards the strike zone in front of the batter \u2014 a direct and visible challenge.\u00a0 In contrast, a curve ball represents feminine bullying.\u00a0 The pitch appears as though it is heading toward home plate in one direction, but slyly changes its route at the end \u2014 tricking the batter\u2019s perception of when and where to swing the bat. Pitcher and team alike agree that both types of pitches are necessary to win. Bullies use both masculine and feminine forms of bullying against victims.<\/p>\n

I use the term \u201cvictim\u201d to describe the person on the receiving end of aggression not because they have no recourse, but because a person in a bullying situation often feels victimized during the occurrence.\u00a0 All types of harassment are bullying if the actions of the perpetrator have the effect of hurting another mentally or physically; cruel actions alone do not constitute bullying if no harm is perceived.\u00a0 Bullies and victims alike are men and women of all races, ages, and classes.<\/p>\n

Wounds that can result from long-term bullying have many of the same features of abuse \u2014 a sense of betrayal, elements of self-doubt and blame, and feelings of hopelessness and anger.<\/p>\n

Shame is a natural feeling to occur after a bullying experience.\u00a0 The thought that you or I \u201cknowingly\u201d entered into a direct path of victimization and remained put, can lead to an enormous sense of injustice. Eventually, this can lead to an intense desire to prove to the external world that I, as the accused, am not the person portrayed by my bully. This may have played a part in the recent loss of the six bullied boys.<\/p>\n

An important first step to address the problem bullying is helping people to understand that it\u2019s more than just \u201ckid stuff,\u201d more than, \u201cOh, boys will be boys.\u201d People who experience bullying may find that they are able to maintain a sense of their power simply by gaining the ability to put a name to the situation.<\/p>\n

So, today I wore purple. What color are you wearing?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post initially appeared on the Yodeling Mamas blog. I began researching bullying in 2004; I completed my Masters thesis on the subject in 2007. Bullying is a widespread issue – and one that does not simply end with childhood. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[37],"tags":[56,69,70,203],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-cd","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":751,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/751\/","url_meta":{"origin":757,"position":0},"title":"Yodeling Mamas","date":"October 20, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m a mama. And I yodel by day. So becoming a yodeling mama seemed like the next logical step. I am officially a mommy blogger. 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Then\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Current Events"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2627,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/league-of-their-own-dickheads\/","url_meta":{"origin":757,"position":2},"title":"League of Their Own: Dickheads","date":"July 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"What are little boys made of? Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails That\u2019s what little boys are made of! What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice That\u2019s what little girls are made of! You know the stereotypes. Boys \u2013 vocal and violent \u2013\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1103,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/farewell-to-arms\/","url_meta":{"origin":757,"position":3},"title":"Farewell to Arms","date":"January 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"His golden locks Time hath to silver turn'd; O Time too swift, O swiftness never ceasing! His youth 'gainst time and age hath ever spurn'd, But spurn'd in vain; youth waneth by increasing: Beauty, strength, youth, are flowers but fading seen; Duty, faith, love, are roots, and ever [purple] Today\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Work"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/01\/yahoobang-large.gif?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":897,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/yahoo-fundraiser-freedom\/","url_meta":{"origin":757,"position":4},"title":"Yahoo! Fundraiser Freedom","date":"November 29, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Note: This blog originally appeared on Yahoo! Shine. Bake sales, magazine subscriptions, cookie dough, gift-wrap, coupon books, auctions, scrip, collecting empty cans\u2026kids pitching their school\u2019s fundraising requests seem to come in every shape and size. (Remember the different size and style Weeples \u2013 those fluffy things with googly eyes glued\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":187,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/blue-clues\/","url_meta":{"origin":757,"position":5},"title":"Blue Clues","date":"May 27, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"By popular demand, below are the clues to deciphering the long awaited, much anticipated and oft debated naming of the twins. Who knew that this would become such a popular guessing game \u2013 from the center of elementary school gossip in the grass seed capitol of the world (Albany, Ore.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Names"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/757"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}