{"id":746,"date":"2010-10-18T18:39:08","date_gmt":"2010-10-19T02:39:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=746"},"modified":"2010-10-18T18:39:08","modified_gmt":"2010-10-19T02:39:08","slug":"raindrops-on-roses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/raindrops-on-roses\/","title":{"rendered":"Raindrops on Roses"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u2026and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it.<\/p>\n

Now, the muppets didn\u2019t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known.\u00a0 The day began with Destroy screaming for food at the top of his (rapidly growing) lungs. I quietly entered the nursery figuring Search was still asleep and I could feed both boys without rousing the rest of the house. Search was not asleep. Search was voraciously gnawing on his brother \u2013 which, in retrospect, may have also contributed to Destroy\u2019s screaming.<\/p>\n

It became readily apparent that they were going to have a \u201cHold Me\u201d day. Not so bad, I thought \u2013 with the rain pounding down on the roof, we can sit back and cuddle in our jammies.<\/p>\n

Nope.<\/p>\n

We were having a \u201cHold Me and Do Something Entertaining\u201d day. Problem was, neither Search nor Destroy could figure out precisely what they found entertaining.<\/p>\n

Compounded the crankiness were two uncomfortable tummy aches. Destroy wouldn\u2019t sit; he would arch his back and wail. Search kept scrunching up his legs into his tummy while his lower lip would pout and begin to quiver as he sobbed.<\/p>\n

It suddenly became very clear. The muppets had to poop. Search\u2019s last download was eight days ago \u2013 it was imminent. Sure enough, as Search squirmed around in his bouncy chair, GrammaJ and I heard the unmistakable sound of a young child airing out his insides. Shortly thereafter, the accompanying pungent aroma began slowly perfuming the room.<\/p>\n

The dogs got up and left.<\/p>\n

I clapped and cheered the accomplishment of this recent bodily function and scooped up the child for a now urgent diaper change. But he wasn\u2019t finished. As I was finishing up with the first change, another wave of baby poo oozed out onto the second diaper \u2013 then a third. I reached over to grab the fourth diaper of this monumental change when I heard it. An explosion emerged from my son. I shrieked \u2013 poop cleared the diaper laid out on the changing table, spraying a bit onto the pad and splattered across the cardboard boxes holding high chairs in the corner of the nursery. Search looked up at me, his face breaking into a huge grin. Well done!<\/p>\n

As I was telling this story, a friend interrupted me. \u201cYou ever have those moments where you stop and think, \u2018I used to be cooler than this\u2026and now look at me.\u2019?\u201d I responded with the appropriate clich\u00e9 about how, considering everything we\u2019ve been through with the muppets, dynamite poop couldn\u2019t be cooler.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>But the truth is, I was never cool. Life prior to the muppets often found me yelling at the dog for eating his own poop. Whereas I used to get home from work and ask, \u201cWhat did the dog eat today,\u201d now I get home to discover how many outfits have been changed due to a puking incident. (For curious readers, the records stand at the California Penal Code, leather boots, two baseball gloves and five respectively.)<\/p>\n

What parenthood has brought me, are the stories to tell of things I never thought I\u2019d hear myself saying or doing. \u201cSweetie, please don\u2019t try to eat your brother.\u201d And poop is cause for celebration.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it. Now, the muppets didn\u2019t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known.\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[20,29,10],"tags":[185,190,204],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-c2","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1199,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/weary-travelers\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":0},"title":"Weary Travelers","date":"February 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Friday was the start of a long holiday weekend. It was pouring rain. The drive to SoCal took five and a half hours. Tuesday, once everyone had returned to school or work, was absolutely gorgeous. It took nine hours to get home. We\u2019re finally home. I\u2019d planned to update you,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Vacation"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/02\/caden_drive_02-22-11.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2230,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/sick-muppets-are-sad\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":1},"title":"Sick Muppets are Sad","date":"February 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Worst cold and flu season. Ever. To be continued from the Sunday Post \u2013 the muppets are sick again. To be fair, this is only the second one they\u2019ve endured. And that whole preemie thing put us mostly in isolation for the last one \u2013 minus the doctor visits for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/photo2-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":975,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-muppets-christmas-spectacular\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":2},"title":"The Muppets Christmas Spectacular","date":"December 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I am sitting amidst the mountains of wrapping-paper wreckage in the living room. The laughter has finally died down. This has been a holiday for the history books \u2013 new chapters and new memories. The muppets woke up at 8 a.m. and I was all too eager to scoop them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/12\/christmas-2010_grampatavo-capturing-memories_12-25-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":834,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/g-g\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":3},"title":"G.G.","date":"November 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Cameras and paparazzi at the ready \u2013 my grandmother met the muppets this weekend. GrammaJ and G.G. (short for Great Grandma) arrived on Friday night after a much-delayed flight. Sadly, a morning mechanical issue somewhere in Baltimore prevented G.G. from getting to meet the muppets on Friday. They were fast\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrations"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2043,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-live-tweeting-of-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":4},"title":"The Live Tweeting of Santa Claus","date":"December 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was the big day to meet the big man. The muppets and I went to visit Santa. At the mall. The Saturday before Christmas. I\u2019m a sucker for tradition, and I\u2019ve been striving to create our own Stream family traditions around the holidays. And who wouldn\u2019t want an annual\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Holidays"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Santa_2011_12-17-11jpg-214x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1378,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/march-for-babies\/","url_meta":{"origin":746,"position":5},"title":"March for Babies","date":"May 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was the March of Dimes March for Babies. We were Team March with the Muppets. (Self-explanatory \u2013 the five mile walk was to take place alongside the Million Dollar Miracle Muppets.) Registration was at 8 a.m. so GrampaStavo and GrammaJ arrived yesterday afternoon. (Yes, they drove approximately 400 miles\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Current Events"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/MarchForBabies_07_05-15-11-e1305524371181-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/746"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=746"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/746\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}