{"id":746,"date":"2010-10-18T18:39:08","date_gmt":"2010-10-19T02:39:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=746"},"modified":"2010-10-18T18:39:08","modified_gmt":"2010-10-19T02:39:08","slug":"raindrops-on-roses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/raindrops-on-roses\/","title":{"rendered":"Raindrops on Roses"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a>\u2026and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it.<\/p>\n Now, the muppets didn\u2019t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known.\u00a0 The day began with Destroy screaming for food at the top of his (rapidly growing) lungs. I quietly entered the nursery figuring Search was still asleep and I could feed both boys without rousing the rest of the house. Search was not asleep. Search was voraciously gnawing on his brother \u2013 which, in retrospect, may have also contributed to Destroy\u2019s screaming.<\/p>\n It became readily apparent that they were going to have a \u201cHold Me\u201d day. Not so bad, I thought \u2013 with the rain pounding down on the roof, we can sit back and cuddle in our jammies.<\/p>\n Nope.<\/p>\n We were having a \u201cHold Me and Do Something Entertaining\u201d day. Problem was, neither Search nor Destroy could figure out precisely what they found entertaining.<\/p>\n Compounded the crankiness were two uncomfortable tummy aches. Destroy wouldn\u2019t sit; he would arch his back and wail. Search kept scrunching up his legs into his tummy while his lower lip would pout and begin to quiver as he sobbed.<\/p>\n It suddenly became very clear. The muppets had to poop. Search\u2019s last download was eight days ago \u2013 it was imminent. Sure enough, as Search squirmed around in his bouncy chair, GrammaJ and I heard the unmistakable sound of a young child airing out his insides. Shortly thereafter, the accompanying pungent aroma began slowly perfuming the room.<\/p>\n The dogs got up and left.<\/p>\n I clapped and cheered the accomplishment of this recent bodily function and scooped up the child for a now urgent diaper change. But he wasn\u2019t finished. As I was finishing up with the first change, another wave of baby poo oozed out onto the second diaper \u2013 then a third. I reached over to grab the fourth diaper of this monumental change when I heard it. An explosion emerged from my son. I shrieked \u2013 poop cleared the diaper laid out on the changing table, spraying a bit onto the pad and splattered across the cardboard boxes holding high chairs in the corner of the nursery. Search looked up at me, his face breaking into a huge grin. Well done!<\/p>\n As I was telling this story, a friend interrupted me. \u201cYou ever have those moments where you stop and think, \u2018I used to be cooler than this\u2026and now look at me.\u2019?\u201d I responded with the appropriate clich\u00e9 about how, considering everything we\u2019ve been through with the muppets, dynamite poop couldn\u2019t be cooler.<\/p>\n <\/a>But the truth is, I was never cool. Life prior to the muppets often found me yelling at the dog for eating his own poop. Whereas I used to get home from work and ask, \u201cWhat did the dog eat today,\u201d now I get home to discover how many outfits have been changed due to a puking incident. (For curious readers, the records stand at the California Penal Code, leather boots, two baseball gloves and five respectively.)<\/p>\n What parenthood has brought me, are the stories to tell of things I never thought I\u2019d hear myself saying or doing. \u201cSweetie, please don\u2019t try to eat your brother.\u201d And poop is cause for celebration.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2026and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it. Now, the muppets didn\u2019t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known.\u00a0 … Continue reading