{"id":467,"date":"2010-07-22T20:41:45","date_gmt":"2010-07-23T04:41:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=467"},"modified":"2010-07-22T20:41:45","modified_gmt":"2010-07-23T04:41:45","slug":"still-not-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/still-not-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Still Not Home"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shocking news \u2013 the muppets are still in the hospital. If you\u2019ve ever stopped and wondered, \u201cHmm, I wonder how long it takes for preemie parents to reach extreme levels of frustration,\u201d allow me to enlighten you. The answer is seven and a half weeks.<\/p>\n

This week was a particularly difficult one for me. The boys are still doing very well. They\u2019re growing and getting ready to come home via the slow and steady method. But they\u2019re still swinging up and down with their oxygen saturation. This was the first potential week that we may have seen the boys homeward bound. Guess what isn\u2019t happening?<\/p>\n

To be fair, I never really thought they\u2019d be home this week \u2013 I thought they\u2019d be home next week. Ever since we learned double trouble was upon us, I\u2019d expected to bring them home in late July. But I did expect that perhaps they\u2019d be completely sans nasal cannula and holding a steady saturation level (of 97-100 percent).<\/p>\n

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No more photos...please!<\/p><\/div>\n

I know 36 weeks is the average gestation for twins and next Tuesday is G.G and Uncle Paul\u2019s birthday. I thought the twins arrival would be a great birthday gift. Obviously, that didn\u2019t happen. So I thought the next best thing would be to bring them home. Such mental decrees led me to really picture this as their due date. Ultimately, we have always been told to expect them home by their due date (which is actually Aug. 23) but they will let us know when they are ready to blow that NICU popsicle stand.<\/p>\n

The combination of unmet expectations, closing in on the two month mark and just how darned cute the muppets are getting led to a very frustrating moment for me. It was hard to take a step back and remind myself that even though their NICU residency seems like it\u2019s been forever, and even though they\u2019re four and a half big boys now, they\u2019re still only 35 weeks \u2013 still tiny. I should still be pregnant for another month! (Good grief, I honestly cannot imagine still being pregnant.)<\/p>\n

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Search<\/p><\/div>\n

This past weekend was an absolute circus in the NICU. As I mentioned, the unit was at capacity. It seemed like there was a new admittee every five minutes. Young preemies to full term babies were rolling into the unit ensconced in their Giraffe isolettes. Nurses running to and fro, yelling out alphabet soup: TPN, PCH, CBC, ABR, CPAP, CC, ROP, ML, EKG, NG, IV, PDA and \u2013 what the heck, we\u2019re talking children here, – ABC, 123. Babies crying. Dinging \u2013 oh, the dinging \u2013 alarms screaming from every nook and cranny. Nurses tending to babies in multiple pods. The charge nurses wandering around asking who wanted to work doubles.<\/p>\n

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Destroy<\/p><\/div>\n

Destroy and I were cuddling in a corner, observing the chaos. The one stat I kept noticing were how many of the babies had high steady sat levels. Today I asked Dr. Dong when the swings would stop. He just looked at me with a slightly pitying, slightly amused expression. \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026when they\u2019re ready.\u201d So much for my hopes that he\u2019d suddenly peer at the boys and reply, \u201cJuly 23. 1:32 p.m.\u201d However, he did wryly note that yes, it will someday stop. He mentioned, \u201cWe\u2019ve seen a lot of kids like this. It seems like the swinging will never stop and then suddenly it just does.\u201d<\/p>\n

Search and Destroy truly are our little miracles. And we\u2019ve been really blessed that, despite all they\u2019ve been put through, they\u2019re healthy. (They\u2019re still tiny, but they\u2019re healthy.) They are coming home \u2013 it\u2019s just a matter of when at this point. I\u2019ve discovered the cure to my frustration is seeing one of the boys smile or coo. And a slightly calmer NICU helps as well. Homecoming is just a matter of weeks now. Then the boys can cause all other types of frustration for their parents.<\/p>\n

Despite the occasionally frustrating situation we\u2019ve found ourselves in, Jon and I are tremendously enjoying getting to know our boys. Their personalities are really starting to shine through. And double trouble is oh so very accurate.<\/p>\n