{"id":4234,"date":"2015-02-25T07:46:57","date_gmt":"2015-02-25T15:46:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=4234"},"modified":"2015-02-22T19:52:38","modified_gmt":"2015-02-23T03:52:38","slug":"inserting-logic-where-it-doesnt-belong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/inserting-logic-where-it-doesnt-belong\/","title":{"rendered":"Inserting Logic Where It Doesn\u2019t Belong"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_2400\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Search and Destroy have reached the age where their primary goal in life is to end their brother.<\/p>\n

I remember this phase. I still bear the scars from where my own brother and I bashed each other in the face with Lego bricks. We spent a great many hours as best friends before reverting to mortal enemies in the blink of an eye \u2013 obviously required to engage in a physical battle to the death. (In adulthood, we are once again friends.)<\/p>\n

My offspring are also now of an age where we are trying to instill the ideals of personal responsibility \u2013 reward and consequence.<\/p>\n

So we adapted a chore chart. It was time to tackle the great problem of keeping one\u2019s hands to oneself.<\/p>\n

On Sunday morning, our family of four trekked to Toys R Us. The boys bum-rushed the doors like, well, like 4-year-olds at a toy store who have just been told they have liberty to acquire the shiny new toy of their choice. Jon followed, certain in the brilliance of this plan. I held up the rear \u2013 shooting frantic glances at any and all adults in the visual vicinity, \u201cSave yourselves! It\u2019s too late for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

The boys each picked out a toy most invigorating to their senses and current attention span.<\/p>\n

The catch: Each fantastic new acquisition would be prominently displayed at home. But no child would be allowed to open or play with their new toy until the successful conclusion of one week\u2019s time wherein each budding MMA fight was able to keep his hands to himself.<\/p>\n

Three days passed without incident. It was beginning to look like victory was possible.<\/p>\n

Parenting Win!<\/p>\n

And then Jon texted me, \u201cDestroy bit someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?!\u201d I immediately interrogated my lovable little miscreant when he got home.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiam wouldn\u2019t let me jump on the dinosaur. So I bit him,\u201d he stated matter-of-factly. To his credit, he did look rather ashamed and abashed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou realize this means you didn\u2019t earn your prize, right?\u201d Jon and I calmly explained in a perfect teaching moment. \u201cYou did not keep your hands to yourself today.\u201d<\/p>\n

Destroy stared back up at us.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did not use my hands. I bit Liam. I used my mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Touche, bruiser. Touche.<\/p>\n

You may be within the letter of the law there, but certainly not the spirit.<\/p>\n

Rules and regulations have been clarified.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Search and Destroy have reached the age where their primary goal in life is to end their brother. I remember this phase. I still bear the scars from where my own brother and I bashed each other in the face … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[997,20],"tags":[672,428,1782,1783,1784],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-16i","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3177,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/my-mini-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":0},"title":"My Mini Me","date":"March 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"While one whirling dervish flung himself off stacks of mats and hurled himself up and over a balance structure twice his height \u2013 proudly chanting \u201cPOMMEL HORSE\u201d at the top of his lungs, our other son was quiet. This was not our most stellar gymnastics class outing. It started out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Caden_TheLook_09-29-10-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2459,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-penalty-box\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":1},"title":"The Penalty Box","date":"May 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"There are certain actions not tolerated in our household (or at school, hence a prior plethora of incident reports). Bad behavior leads to a stint in the penalty box. Time. Out. \u201cYou do that, you go to the box. Two minutes, by yourself and you feel shame. And then you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/RedCard.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4198,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/stop-acting-like-a-child\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":2},"title":"Stop Acting Like a Child","date":"January 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"On Friday I received two letters. The first was from a school the boys will attend in the future, the second from their current educational institution. Message from the Principal Oftentimes I see students on the playground after school making choices that are not responsible or safe. Given that there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Logan_Sad-Batman_01-19-15-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2539,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/just-a-little-too-comfortable-now-listen\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":3},"title":"Just a Little Too Comfortable. Now Listen\u2026","date":"June 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It's official. I'm \u201cthat mom.\u201d Since the muppets have transitioned into the new Tiny Twos class, they now receive a daily report briefly detailing their progress. Yesterday\u2019s summary read as follows: \u201cDestroy is becoming a bit too comfortable with me. He needs to learn listening is important.\u201d WTF does that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2781,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/imaginative-lives-of-others\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":4},"title":"Imaginative Lives of Others","date":"September 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The muppets had energy oozing out of their pores. So we decided to go for a family hike. Two hours. Two miles. But fear not future park patrons! Nary a rock remains on any part of the dirt trail we canvassed this afternoon. (Back at our homestead, our washing machine\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Family Stories"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1646,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/teething-bites\/","url_meta":{"origin":4234,"position":5},"title":"Teething Bites","date":"August 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The muppets gummy grins have given way to a number of pearly white baby chompers. The addition of enamel is a whole new experience. \u201cThere\u2019s something in my mouth\u2026\u201d And unfortunately, their favorite chew toy appears to be each other. This is a problem, since the Parent\/Teacher Handbook for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Daycare"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Muppets-Baptism_08-13-11_60-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4234"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4234"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4234\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}