Finance: paying for said vehicle.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nShall I say \u201cNo\u201d again or turn the logistics and operations components over to my husband as he implements our imminent departure?<\/p>\n
The salesman departed for \u201cthe back room\u201d to discuss our proposal. We heard the required shouting and theatrics required with the car purchase performance. I was not impressed.<\/p>\n
He returned. \u201cWell, they said no. But let\u2019s go ahead and get the paperwork started and maybe we\u2019ll see if we can work something out,\u201d he instructed pushing a finance application form at me.<\/p>\n
I laughed. And not just because lunchtime had long since come and gone during such obnoxious negotiations. \u201cNo. We are not going to start providing our information for a price we haven\u2019t agreed to on the maybe chance someone in your management is going to feel a whim to lower the price. Either we have a deal or we do not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Without batting an eye at me, he looked at Jon. \u201cWow. She\u2019s tough. How do you live with her?\u201d<\/p>\n
Seriously? \u201cYou know I can hear you right?\u201d I asked pointedly. Jon did not even dignify the comment with a response of any kind.<\/p>\n
Several backroom shouting matches later, we reached a deal. Our salesman returned with a list of numbers.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately for him, I am not only a hardass bitch of a wife, but I am also mathematically literate. \u201cThis is not the starting price we agreed upon. These amounts don\u2019t add up, either.\u201d<\/p>\n
I had officially poked the bear. The salesman stormed back toward the negotiation stage while Jon politely called after him, \u201cWe really don\u2019t appreciate you trying to manipulate the numbers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Perhaps the salesman thought he was letting us sit and fret about possibly losing our beloved new family member. In reality, I was just getting hangry and more inclined to find the nearest train station. (One can read lots of books commuting on a train to work.)<\/p>\n
Jon suggested perhaps we should forgo the search for a sensible commuter car in favor of the spicier Camero. I laughed at his joke. Obviously we should forgo the search for a sensible commuter car and the Chevy make entirely and go find a yellow Mustang. (Way sexier muscle car, clearly.)<\/p>\n
When the salesman returned, it took approximately 47 nanoseconds to realize the new price total was $1,000 MORE than the prior proposal.<\/p>\n
Nope.<\/p>\n
You have got to be kidding me. I am relatively certain the rumbling noise that followed was not my stomach but rather my great-grandfather, a former controller of Chevrolet, rolling in his grave.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no, no,\u201d the salesman waved off my indignant exclamations. \u201cForget that other one. He made a mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no, no,\u201d I parroted. \u201cYou don\u2019t get to present a customer with one number and then raise the offer. At least not if you expect them to take you seriously. Please return the keys to our car.\u201d (The dealership was currently assessing a trade-in value for Jon\u2019s car.)<\/p>\n
Instead of honorably exiting this brewing shitstorm, the salesman chose to argue what a great deal we\u2019d be getting. No matter. One does not live with twin preschoolers without learning how to handle a tantrum. And one does not learn how to handle major muppet meltdowns without having first passed on the genes to throw such magnificent hissy fits.<\/p>\n
You want to see a hysterical female? I was ready, aimed and willing to put my theatre arts degree to good (and loud) use right there, right then.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, shortly before such histrionics became necessary, the salesman scurried off in a huff of his own to retrieve our keys. \u201cFine. I\u2019ll get your things and you can be done with this.\u201d<\/p>\n
My butt had not even cleared the seat by an inch when the sales manager returned in place of the salesman. I\u2019ll give them this \u2013 the smoke and mirrors of dealing was well choreographed.<\/p>\n
I sat back and let Jon use his well-honed verbal judo to cut the perpetrators of my new nightmare down to size. Meanwhile I wondered who the salesman\u2019s slimy tactics actually worked on. Minutes, possibly hours, passed while I dreamed of a voodoo doll and a Snickers bar equally.<\/p>\n
My reveries were interrupted only when the finance manager materialized. \u201cHi Jon, I\u2019m Finance Manager,\u201d he introduced himself. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come on back to my office and take a look at some paperwork.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood to know you have a name too,\u201d Jon muttered at me.<\/p>\n
I stepped in front of the finance manager, blocking his path. \u201cHi. I\u2019m Tricia,\u201d I extended my hand in introduction.<\/p>\n
Fucker, I thought.<\/p>\n
Seated in the three-walled office, decorated with such homey touches as posters notifying us of our legal right to have a contract executed in the language of our choice, Jon spoke up. \u201cYou know what, we\u2019ll come back tomorrow and sign a contract if we decide to proceed.\u201d Then he realized, \u201cOh, but we\u2019d need your signature. How would we do that?\u201d<\/p>\n
The finance manager looked up, slightly confused. \u201cOnly need one signature.\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, that didn\u2019t sound right. We asked for clarification. (Note: they had taken both of our driver\u2019s licenses for verification at this point.)<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want me to put both names on the paperwork? I\u2019ll have to go reprint everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
What?! I had been completely erased from the purchase scenario.<\/p>\n
\u201cEh,\u201d shrugged the finance manager. \u201cDon\u2019t need both. California is a 50\/50 state.\u201d Although I’m sure the finance manager and all other involved felt their momentum fading quickly.<\/p>\n
As we left, it occurred to me that I had not seen a single female employee anywhere. It was quite clear the pervasive attitude at this dealership thought my talents would be far better served back in the kitchen than dealing with such complexities as a technological new age machine.<\/p>\n
Joke\u2019s on them though. Because we all know nothing good comes from my culinary attempts.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m known for dishes en flamb\u00e9. (Shit goes boom.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jon\u2019s car began to sputter and cough \u201cUncle.\u201d Which, of course, was communicated via mechanic bills becoming exponentially higher than the entirety of the vehicle\u2019s worth. So the decision was made to go car shopping.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[13],"tags":[1650,1770,1769,1768],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-161","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4327,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/techmom-tuesday-voltron-the-zippy-locks-me-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":0},"title":"TechMom Tuesday: Voltron the Zippy Locks Me Out","date":"May 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"* This post was originally published on ClintonFitch.com. I am officially a commuter. I think it may be somewhere in the Silicon Valley bylines that I must then acquire a commuter car. We went with the Chevy Volt \u2013 a zippy little plug-in hybrid that transitions to gas mode if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "TechMomTuesday"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/TechMomContributor-300x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":96,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/firemobile\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":1},"title":"Firemobile","date":"April 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was an expensive day. I took my trusty 1998 Honda in for its 150,000-mile maintenance checkup. As the fixes started added up, I succumbed to the realization that my reliable (and sexy) silver Accord was nearing the end of days. Among the choruses of \u201cI\u2019ve been saying that for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cars"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/1987_nissan_maxima-pic-4489420394505021980-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3957,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/how-to-jump-start-a-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":2},"title":"How to Jump Start a Car","date":"July 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The hospital let me know that I was due for a blood draw. So bright and early Sunday morning (because I wasn\u2019t foregoing breakfast a moment longer than needed) I pulled into the almost empty parking lot. There was another car near the hospital\u2019s front entrance. A woman was standing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cars"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/1-jumper-cables-blink-images-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":285,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/red-light-green-light\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":3},"title":"Red Light, Green Light","date":"June 16, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"We bought a new car today. And with a heavy heart, I said goodbye to my trusty 1998 Honda Accord. Sadly, this new car process turned out to be an all day event (broken up by our visits to the boys, of course) so today\u2019s originally scheduled blog post has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cars"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/06\/farewellhonda_6-16-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4121,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/thought-process-of-a-preschooler\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":4},"title":"Thought Process of a Preschooler","date":"November 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Can you follow the train of thought of a preschooler? Watch out \u2013 there are a lot of twists and turns, along with seemingly impossible leaps, ahead. We were en route to school, well \u2013 the car was pointed in the general direction of pre-K, we weren\u2019t actually moving due\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1592,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/happy-homecomings\/","url_meta":{"origin":4217,"position":5},"title":"Happy Homecomings","date":"August 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"What a difference a year makes. Home. A year ago Saturday that was my post. Destroy came home from the NICU on August 6. Tomorrow, August 9, is the anniversary of Search\u2019s homecoming. Those three months seemed like they would never end. Jon came back to my hospital room the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Birthday"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/Search_CarSeatTest_08-03-10-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4217"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}