{"id":4155,"date":"2014-12-09T07:02:12","date_gmt":"2014-12-09T15:02:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=4155"},"modified":"2014-12-07T21:03:43","modified_gmt":"2014-12-08T05:03:43","slug":"monsters-on-the-wall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/monsters-on-the-wall\/","title":{"rendered":"Monsters on the Wall"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_3206\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I heard moaning and the distinct floor creeks announcing the urgent pitter-patter of little feet racing toward me. When I blearily looked at the clock<\/span> red fuzzy lines across my room, they formed somewhat of a 4 a.m. shape.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh! Ah! Ah! I hafta go pee pee!!!\u201d a potty-dancing Destroy whimpered. He darted into the bathroom and I waved him back to bed with a hug. I thought that was the end of that.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t.<\/p>\n

Several minutes later his wails once again pierced the night. I let one go. Maybe he was just settling. But his cries only grew louder. I stumbled down the hallway to tuck him back in. (Maybe his brother could still get some sleep.)<\/p>\n

Destroy was sitting up. \u201cI threw up,\u201d he moaned pitifully.<\/p>\n

My sleepy stupor quickly became the dancing tiptoe prance reserved to avoid stray Legos and bodily fluids. \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn the caterpillar,\u201d he sobbed.<\/p>\n

Now I had to worry about bugs?! (May I remind you of the time?) Ultimately I found a mild amount of spittle on a 3-foot stuffed blue agricultural pest wearing shoes. Phew. He\u2019d just coughed a little to aggressively.<\/p>\n

I deposited the soiled bug in the washing machine and went back to bed.<\/p>\n

Five minutes later, Destroy came racing back into the room. \u201cThere\u2019s a monster on the wall!\u201d He was practically hyperventilating.<\/p>\n

Jon was sent on monster patrol. Beds, closets, walls were tactically swept and cleared.<\/p>\n

But the moment Jon pulled the covers back up over us, Destroys screams cracked through the silence once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cMonsters! They\u2019re everywhere! THERE\u2019S MONSTERS EVERYWHERE!\u201d<\/p>\n

He was truly panicked. He was sitting up again. Shaking. \u201cMonsters, Mommy. Make the monsters go away.\u201d I hugged my terrified child, trying to calm him. The heat of his fear was literally radiating off of him. He was burning up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI threw up,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, sweetie,\u201d I comforted him. \u201cIt\u2019s ok. We\u2019re washing the caterpillar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not yet.\u201d He gagged. He\u2019d gotten his tenses wrong. He was in process of throwing up.<\/p>\n

I scooped him up. He puked on me. I handed him to Jon, to race him to the bathroom. He puked on Jon.<\/p>\n

As the clock continued to tick forward, I moved to clean myself, the floor and little man\u2019s bed of the upchuck that was disturbingly reminiscent of the Chuck E Cheese\u2019s pizza and birthday cake from the previous night\u2019s party.<\/p>\n

His fever was 102. It wasn\u2019t food poisoning.<\/p>\n

After Destroy and all within his puking vicinity was de-arfed, I tucked Destroy back into bed with Daddy. Dawn was fast approaching and despite our normal (there\u2019s that word again) reservations against allowing tiny people in our bed, those last few hours of snuggle time were the final hope against the monster hallucinations.<\/p>\n

As my boys went back to sleep, I got ready for the long day ahead. After I got ready I checked on my sleeping angels. Any question on whether or not Destroy was truly sick was vanquished simply by taking note of the fact he was lying still.<\/p>\n

I kissed his hot little head. He still didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n

Then I heard his little moan, \u201cI need my bucket.”<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to throw up again?\u201d I quickly grabbed for the mixing bowl turned barf bowl, while simultaneously mentally planning out my change of clothes in case of vomit stains.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he mumbled simply. He grabbed the large bowl and fell back asleep cuddling the barf bowl.<\/p>\n

Just before I left, I pulled up the morning news where I was greeted with the headline \u201cThis Year\u2019s Batch Of Flu Shots Might Not Fight Current Flu Strain That\u00a0Well<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n

Well then. So glad I dragged my guys to get that flu shot<\/a>. I suppose I deserved to get puked on for that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I heard moaning and the distinct floor creeks announcing the urgent pitter-patter of little feet racing toward me. When I blearily looked at the clock red fuzzy lines across my room, they formed somewhat of a 4 a.m. shape. \u201cAh! … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[23,997],"tags":[696,1385,1743,215,1742],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-151","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1899,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/potty-like-a-rock-star\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":0},"title":"Potty Like a Rock Star","date":"November 12, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I diapered the muppets. For fun (I know \u2013 we get ca-razy here), I let the boys wander around in their diapers while I went to dispose of the evidence. In the 60 seconds I was away, I heard a crash and a cackle. When I returned, Search was playing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Destroy_Milk_10-10-11-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2790,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/toddler-stream-of-conscious\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":1},"title":"Toddler Stream of Conscious","date":"September 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Stream of consciousness refers to the uninhibited flow of sense\u2010perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and memories within our minds. We all have an internal monologue that guides us through our days. (Mine is the narrator of a novel just begging to be written. Are you surprised?) Toddlers allegedly have one as well.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":299,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/soggy-bottom-boys\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":2},"title":"Soggy Bottom Boys","date":"June 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"My son christened me into the world of moms with boys today. He peed on me. (Oh, I am a mom of constant sorrow\u2026) I\u2019d heard tales of such things before, laughed at them. There is even an available item out there called a \u201cpee pee teepee \u2013 a must\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3122,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/sacrifice-to-the-potty-gods\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":3},"title":"Sacrifice to the Potty Gods","date":"February 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The boys want nothing to do with the potty. Rather they seem to be quite enamored with going through 3,000 diapers per year. So we ordered books. (Because heretoforth those \u201cWhat To Expect\u201d how-to guides have always served us so well\u2026) Search and Destroy love them! They can recite them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Potty-Image-277x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1881,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/down-with-daylight-savings\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":4},"title":"Down with Daylight Savings","date":"November 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s that time of year again. I walked into a store at the mall today and was encompassed by \u201cThe Twelve Days of Christmas.\u201d Back off Fat Man! November is Turkey month. But I digress\u2026holiday shopping is not my current gripe. Once again the time change is upon us. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Current Events"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/december-fat-boy-this-month-is-for-my-holiday.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3587,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/down-and-dirty-preschool-pickup\/","url_meta":{"origin":4155,"position":5},"title":"Down and Dirty Preschool Pickup","date":"September 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Preschool pickup could have gone better today. Read ahead at your own risk. I got the day\u2019s rundown when I went to sign the boys out. \u201cDestroy\u2019s in a pull-up because he asked for one to poop in.\u201d Hey! That\u2019s great! Smooth sailing sign out and just another day for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/White-Flag-300x258.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4155"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4155\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}