{"id":4020,"date":"2014-09-22T07:19:50","date_gmt":"2014-09-22T14:19:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=4020"},"modified":"2014-09-21T20:34:57","modified_gmt":"2014-09-22T03:34:57","slug":"how-to-train-your-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/how-to-train-your-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Train Your Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cooper\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Let him grow old.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n

Cooper is crazy. From his very first escape attempt through the streets of his puppy neighborhood,<\/a> to is grand adventure on his third day as a member of our family, our lives became a precision orchestration of keeping the door closed and making sure keys were at the ready to chase after Indy Speed Racer.<\/p>\n

Fast-forward nine years, one black lab, and two tiny muppets later, Cooper\u2019s calmed down quite a bit while the human children have revved their motors up exponentially.<\/p>\n

This past weekend Search and Destroy were in the front yard, seeking to destroy the imaginary Gotham city they\u2019d built (in reality the woeful \u201ccity\u201d comprised my car and our garage door). And as preschoolers hell bent on causing chaos, knees were scraped.<\/p>\n

Destroy, wearing his emotions on his sleeve (and broadcasting them throughout our neighborhood on our recently reconnected Wi-Fi), melted down due to the immediate misfortune of an un-bandaided boo-boo.<\/p>\n

Since we were in the front yard, I couldn\u2019t simply leave the rampaging lads to their own devices. Destroy took matters into his own hands and raced inside as he called back his mission. \u201cI see a helicopter. Ow. Ow. Ow. I\u2019m getting a band-aid!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

He returned two minutes later proudly brandishing a Toy Story bandage nowhere near his wound and immediately got back down to business.<\/p>\n

Moments later, a four-legged creature tentatively tip-toed toward me. Scout, our black lab was sneaking out of the house like a rebellious teenager, testing each step for the telltale creaky floorboard.<\/p>\n

Scout has never worried me. He\u2019s a people-pleaser. Or rather, he only ever wants to be with his people. He\u2019s the kind of dog who would stand on the porch just outside the open doorframe, tapping his paws, desperately trying to be as completely in the way and underfoot as possible. (Unless of course a fellow creature \u2013 be it dog, cat, or leaf \u2013 pass in front. In that case he\u2019d have to go make a new friend, concerns of others be damned!)<\/p>\n

I immediately sat up straight and ordered him back to the house. Although we\u2019ve thought Cooper was over his ding-dong-ditch ways after his most recent cancer diagnosis<\/a>, I had no desire to test this particular hypothesis.<\/p>\n

But when I turned sideways to further shoo Scout back to the house. Cooper was sitting there, staring back at me.<\/p>\n

\u201cHiya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBack inside!\u201d I shouted indignantly, more on principle at this point than any real fear. (In his younger days, Cooper would have already been on the next block.)<\/p>\n

Cooper snorfled at me, audibly passed gas, and harrumphed himself to the ground with a dramatic sigh. His bright brown eyes shone bright against his now snow white fur. And while the outside observer may have thought I was simply protecting the neighborhood from the curmudgeonly old dog grumbling, \u201cGet off my lawn,\u201d to passers-by, I could see his thoughts loud and clear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you guys really are my forever family. Maybe I\u2019ll stay a while.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let him grow old. That\u2019s it. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got. Cooper is crazy. From his very first escape attempt through the streets of his puppy neighborhood, to is grand adventure on his third day as a member of our family, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[638],"tags":[97,1697,1698,1696],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-12Q","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3478,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/out-of-the-mouths-of-babes-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":0},"title":"Out of the Mouths of Babes","date":"July 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Happy Friday. It\u2019s time for the latest installment of the honest truth \u2013 toddler style. Search: Mommy doesn't have brown eyes. Mommy has weird eyes. (Green. My eyes are green, kid.) Me: No splashing. Destroy: That was Mater. Me: Haha, I\u2019m pretty sure you just splashed your toy in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Seriously?"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/SuccessKid-297x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4300,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-doppelganger\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":1},"title":"The Doppelganger","date":"April 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"There is a boy next door the boys have befriended. I was thrilled to find a family lived close to us, as I think it\u2019s an important rite of childhood to run amok with the local youth of the neighborhood. Both boys were eager for their first play date. \u201cCan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"Dukes of Hazzard","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Dukes-of-Hazzard.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2395,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/a-rough-and-tumble-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":2},"title":"A Rough and Tumble Day","date":"April 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The morning brought about a neighborhood walk. We wrestled with the dogs before nap and then filled their little tummies with lunch. An excursion to the park was to follow in the afternoon. The end-goal: Exhaust the little ones. Spring is here. And it was a beautiful day. The muppets\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Rough-and-Tumble-Day.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3229,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/easter-spring-the-season-of-rebirth-and-renewal\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":3},"title":"Easter. Spring. The season of rebirth and renewal.","date":"April 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The sun may be hiding, but its warmth is out in force. So on Saturday, I convinced one of the muppets to head outdoors with me. He wanted to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I thought there\u2019d been enough TV time for the day. So \u2013 Yoho No. Destroy:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrations"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Santa-Clara_Wisteria_03-24-13.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2939,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/out-of-the-mouths-of-babes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":4},"title":"Out of the Mouths of Babes","date":"November 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Search and Destroy are talking up a storm. Pretty much every other comment is bloggable. I have a feeling this will be a recurring series here \u2013 a toddling stream of conscious if you will. Two and half years old. As they discover the world. So let\u2019s kick things off\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/SuccessKid-297x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4402,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/lockdown-comprehension-a-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":4020,"position":5},"title":"Lockdown Comprehension: A Review","date":"December 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Scene: After school discussing the active shooter lockdown \u201cRun, Hide and Defend Drill\u201d at the elementary school. Search: We built a fort and then we hid behind the table and put chairs in front of the door. Destroy: All of us hided in the bathroom. Me: Hid. Destroy: All of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "School"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4020"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}