{"id":4008,"date":"2014-09-09T07:24:12","date_gmt":"2014-09-09T14:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=4008"},"modified":"2014-09-09T12:46:14","modified_gmt":"2014-09-09T19:46:14","slug":"chivalry-isnt-dead-yet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/chivalry-isnt-dead-yet\/","title":{"rendered":"Chivalry Isn\u2019t Dead Yet"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Chivalry\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We\u2019re living in a society of every man for himself. Articles across these here interwebs decry the decay of manners and etiquette. So it\u2019s up to me to raise my muppets to one day serve as productive members of society.<\/p>\n

Search and Destroy. Future gentlemen.<\/p>\n

Friday rolled around \u2013 customary date night. Dad was off on business, so I hit the town with two handsome men by my side. We decided to begin our evening with fine dining.<\/p>\n

Red Robin awaited.<\/p>\n

My dates charged in, clearly an attempt to guide me to our table. There was even a brief skirmish to defend my honor. To the untrained eye, it may have seemed that two preschoolers were having a tantrum over who got to sit next to Mommy. But obviously these two up-and-coming aristocrats were simply concerned about letting me sit with my back to an opening.<\/p>\n

In a gesture harkening back to the days of knights and noblemen, each little man eagerly ripped into his white paper kerchief (napkin) and brandished a sword toward me with hunger-induced vigor. You think I\u2019m exaggerating, but really I was quite impressed. They may have only been turning over dangerous knives that are only for grownups (also known as butter knives to the uninitiated) but they did so with dapper aplomb.<\/p>\n

Dinner came and they even shared a French fry.<\/p>\n

As a reward, we split a Mountain High Mud Pie for dessert. The boys attacked the frozen delectable \u2013 trying to cut down pieces of the pie for me, the way I\u2019ve oft cut up their meat. Never mind the creamy chilled projectiles launching their way over the restaurant via a preschool propelled catapult.<\/p>\n

When it came time to leave, Search and Destroy raced to the door. When I reached above them to push the entryway open, both guys scrambled against it waving me through first. \u201cThank you for holding the door open for me,\u201d I proclaimed proudly.<\/p>\n

Suddenly a gaggle of teenage girls appeared (obviously looking to live it up with a TGIF of endless refill root beer floats).<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m holding the door open for you,\u201d the 38-inch Casanova, Destroy, crowed proudly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d corrected Search. \u201cWe BOTH holding the door open for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the ringing in my ears, resulting from the shrill shrieks at a frequency only high school girls can emit, I took a moment to revel in the cooing as the girls gushed over my muppets\u2019 adorableness.<\/p>\n

\u201cOH EM GEEEEEEEE!!! You guys that\u2019s like the cutest sweetest thing ever. I like can\u2019t even.\u201d<\/p>\n

Good men.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m calling this a parenting win.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re living in a society of every man for himself. Articles across these here interwebs decry the decay of manners and etiquette. So it\u2019s up to me to raise my muppets to one day serve as productive members of society. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[13,23,10],"tags":[672,1683,1684,1685],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-12E","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4360,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-saga-of-destroy-and-the-goose\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":0},"title":"The Saga of Destroy and the Goose","date":"July 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Let\u2019s get the preliminaries out of the way: geese are assholes. Yesterday I posted a picture (see above) of the moment just before Destroy got bit by brethren of the aforementioned foul fowl. Here\u2019s the full story. After a morning spent demonstrating that neither 5-year-old was capable of coexisting peacefully\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/Logan_Goose_07-19-15-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3150,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/pretty-pretty-princes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":1},"title":"Pretty Pretty Princes","date":"March 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"It started on a rainy day many months ago. Disallowed from their preferred activity of stomping through puddles and rolling in nature\u2019s mud baths, Search and Destroy\u2019s teachers directed our favorite whirling dervishes toward the classroom dress-up corner. They went straight for the sparkling tutu costumes. (They clearly take after\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Current Events"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Princes-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3562,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/being-awesome-at-the-disneyland-dumbo-double-dare-adventure\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":2},"title":"Being Awesome at the Disneyland Dumbo Double Dare Adventure","date":"September 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The timing around our summer vacation was twofold. Preschool takes a week off between the end of summer school and the start of a new school year; and I take a great masochistic pleasure in running the Disneyland Half Marathon. So when we returned from Hawaii, our extended family headed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/First-Visit2-292x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3096,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/easy-as-abc-12-poop\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":3},"title":"Easy as A,B,C, 1,2, Poop","date":"February 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"So\u2026this was my night. How was yours? Destroy: Look. There are two lights on. One light is dead. 1\u20262\u20263\u2026 lights! (My son is obviously brilliant.) Destroy: 1\u20262\u20263\u20267\u20269\u2026 (Look at him shunning traditional conventions.) Me: Search, can you count? Search: No. Me: Ok, let\u2019s go take a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4173,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-story-of-santa\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":4},"title":"The Story of Santa","date":"December 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u2018Tis the season. And so the muppets explained the story of the Fat Man to me. Search: Did you tell Santa about our new address so he\u2019ll bring the presents we talked to him about? Destroy: Santa only brings presents to nice boys. You can\u2019t have to sit by the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Holidays"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4115,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/were-going-to-a-dead-mans-party-or-trick-or-treating-the-neighborhood\/","url_meta":{"origin":4008,"position":5},"title":"We\u2019re Going to a Dead Man\u2019s Party (or trick-or-treating the neighborhood)","date":"November 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I spent the morning convincing Destroy that Darth Vader was not a superhero to be sported on superhero day at school. (The boys\u2019 preschool class isn\u2019t allowed to do Halloween costumes.) So when evening rolled around, Search and Destroy were eager to take over the world\u2019s candy supply as the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Celebrations"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Halloween-2014_10-31-14_01-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4008"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4008"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4008\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}