{"id":3785,"date":"2014-02-24T07:57:15","date_gmt":"2014-02-24T15:57:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=3785"},"modified":"2014-02-22T22:05:12","modified_gmt":"2014-02-23T06:05:12","slug":"parents-you-see-at-the-preschool-parade-pickup-a-z","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/parents-you-see-at-the-preschool-parade-pickup-a-z\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents You See at the Preschool Parade Pickup A-Z"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zW5ZV1rClHI\" height=\"315\" width=\"420\" allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re working on the ABCs with the muppets. As you can see, we\u2019re missing some. But we\u2019re moving forward \u2013 and it\u2019s part of the ongoing curriculum at school.<\/p>\n<p>Hey! There\u2019s a teaching moment right there is for all the types of parents one may encounter at drop-off.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><i>A is for Anxiety Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Jittery and heart-racing, they have no idea what they\u2019re doing when it comes to this parenting thing. And oh god, they\u2019re so panicked they\u2019re going to screw it up.<\/p>\n<p><i>B is for Blogging Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Every move is a potential story; entire lives are being blogged.<\/p>\n<p><i>C is for Coffee Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Even her kids know the Starbucks menu. Decaf for the little one and a latte for mom.<\/p>\n<p><i>D is for Disheveled Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Her hair has a mind of its own. She may or may not have remembered to swap out slippers for shoes. And she\u2019ll probably need to readjust the drawstring on her sweats at some point in the parking lot.<\/p>\n<p><i>E is for Exhausted Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>EveryMom. Up late, up early \u2013 mind always racing. She\u2019s bringing dark circles back into fashion.<\/p>\n<p><i>F is for Frazzled Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>What day is it? She probably forgot her kids\u2019 breakfast. Again. She\u2019ll even show up on days that she didn\u2019t have pick-up.<\/p>\n<p><i>G is for Guilty Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Shoulda, coulda, really really wanted to do better. She always looks like she\u2019s second-guessing every child-rearing decision.<\/p>\n<p><i>H is for Hypochondriac Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>She\u2019s the one who will spray you down with hand-sanitizer if you so much as clear your throat in her direction.<\/p>\n<p><i>I is for Ice Queen Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Permanent \u201cBitchy Resting Face\u201d and only a quick simple acknowledgement when you pass her. Get in. Get out.<\/p>\n<p><i>J is for Judgmental Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Yup, she\u2019s looking at you with judgey eyes \u2013 anything from your sports team allegiance to a fellow parent who just parked in the handicapped spot.<\/p>\n<p><i>K is for Killer Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Spiders don\u2019t stand a chance. Apologies for the accidental snailcide.<\/p>\n<p><i>L is for Late Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>\u201cLet\u2019s go, already!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><i>M is for Mom of Multiples<br \/>\n<\/i>They\u2019re the ones repeating everything at least twice. \u201cDon\u2019t hit your brother. Do. Not. Hit. Brother!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><i>N is for New Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>This is the mom looking slightly shell-shocked that small people depend on her.<\/p>\n<p><i>O is for Obsessive Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>She\u2019s got the class schedule memorized. Do not, I repeat, do not mess with the schedule.<\/p>\n<p><i>P is for Potty Training Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>P is for pee. And poop. And Pampers. And prayers. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE THE POTTY!<\/p>\n<p><i>Q is for Quixotic Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Her children are going to change the world. Her ideas will make a difference. (Just as soon as they figure out the potty thing.)<\/p>\n<p><i>R is for Resourceful Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>They say necessity is the mother of invention. She often believes motherhood is the necessity for invention.<\/p>\n<p><i>S is for Super Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Shit\u2019s gotta get done. And she\u2019s on a mission.<\/p>\n<p><i>T is for Teacher Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>She\u2019s got all kinds of innovative ideas on how to impart a love of education unto her offspring. (Like A-Z lists.)<\/p>\n<p><i>U is for Unsure Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>She has absolutely no idea what she\u2019s doing. And often looks a bit bewildered.<\/p>\n<p>V is for Volunteer Mom<br \/>\nIt\u2019s likely the reason for the MomMobile \u2013 gotta have room for future equipment. (And also blankets for tiny ones.)<\/p>\n<p><i>W is for Working Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Heels, skirt and blouse, she\u2019s shepherding the little ones into class for an 8-5 meeting.<\/p>\n<p>X is for Xenophile Mom<br \/>\nForeign foods and maybe even family on another continent.<\/p>\n<p><i>Y is for Yoga Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Well, the pants anyway.<\/p>\n<p><i>Z is for Zombie Mom<br \/>\n<\/i>Brains. This world really needs far more of them.<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s just me\u2026 What types of parents do you see in the pickup parade? And what about you dads?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re working on the ABCs with the muppets. As you can see, we\u2019re missing some. But we\u2019re moving forward \u2013 and it\u2019s part of the ongoing curriculum at school. Hey! There\u2019s a teaching moment right there is for all the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/parents-you-see-at-the-preschool-parade-pickup-a-z\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[22,377],"tags":[1519,1237,1270,388,212],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-Z3","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3259,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-abcs-of-raising-a-3-year-old\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":0},"title":"The ABCs of Raising a 3-Year-Old","date":"April 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"When the muppets were born, they were indoctrinated to a cold, cruel, gravity-filled world. Instead of smiling alligators, bumble bees, and caterpillars adorning nursery walls in bold primary colors, their first ABCs were the red beeping alarms of apnea and bradycardia episodes in an intensive care isolette. Now they\u2019re closing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Miscellaneous&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/ABCs-300x259.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4072,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/its-the-great-pumpkin-preschool-kids\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":1},"title":"It\u2019s the Great Pumpkin, Preschool Kids","date":"October 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I had the week off work. So in a moment of guilt over being \u201cthat parent\u201d (we\u2019re the ones who never attend any of the preschool festivities), I decided it would be a wonderful idea to chaperone the pre-K excursion to the pumpkin patch \u2013 their first field trip ever.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Celebrations&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Pumpkin-Patch_Jack-o-Lanturn_10-08-14-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":492,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/happy-birthday-brother\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":2},"title":"Happy Birthday Brother","date":"July 27, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I was really hoping the muppets would be born today. Today is Uncle Paul and G.G\u2019s birthday. I know the day is a bit crowded, but even Uncle Paul had said it would be fun to share. Twenty-seven years ago Paul arrived early. Not three months early of course, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Birthday&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/07\/brothers_caden-logan_07-23-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2848,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/post-season-baseball-muppet-style\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":3},"title":"Postseason Baseball \u2013 Muppet Style","date":"October 19, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Ladies and gentlemen \u2013 it\u2019s October baseball! The muppets took the (preschool) field presently umpired by the three-year-old class teacher in full Buster Posey regalia (and orange Tod\u2019s\u00a0TOMS). As a born and bred Bleed Blue Dodger fan, I\u2019m not entirely sure how I feel about such impressionable young minds being\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Sports&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2524,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/something-funny-happened-on-the-way-home\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":4},"title":"Something Funny Happened on the Way Home","date":"May 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"You think by making it through the day without a call saying the kids are hysterical that the first day in the Tiny Two\u2019s class was a rousing success. I showed up to the sandbox. The yard doody lady called out Search\u2019s name. Five kids looked up. Because there are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Stories&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/45106433738279584_KNIV5jxT_f-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2444,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/potty-mouths-of-preschoolers\/","url_meta":{"origin":3785,"position":5},"title":"Potty Mouths of Preschoolers","date":"April 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Disclaimer: Yes, I know the boys aren\u2019t *technically* in preschool. They\u2019re in the toddler class at daycare. Prior to having kids I was just as judgey about parents using \u201cschool\u201d for where the tiny tots spend their days. But they are *at* a school. And that\u2019s just easier to say.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Destroy&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/ralphy-soap.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3785"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3785"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3785\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}