{"id":3651,"date":"2013-11-04T07:43:42","date_gmt":"2013-11-04T15:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/?p=3651"},"modified":"2013-11-04T10:20:20","modified_gmt":"2013-11-04T18:20:20","slug":"a-full-days-worth-of-reasons-to-hate-the-time-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/a-full-days-worth-of-reasons-to-hate-the-time-change\/","title":{"rendered":"A Full Day\u2019s Worth of Reasons to Hate the Time Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Crazy_clock\"<\/a><\/p>\n

2 a.m.
\n<\/b>A child begins stirring. You hear a scream. I NEED WATER. Minutes pass that feel like hours. You stumble from your bed \u2013 in the general direction of the bathroom, there may be a water bottle in there \u2013 and head into the wailing boy\u2019s room. Thirst quenched, you go back to bed.<\/p>\n

2 a.m. (An hour later)
\n<\/b>A child begins stirring. You hear a scream. I NEED WATER. Minutes pass that feel like hours. You stumble from your bed \u2013 questioning if this is a dream or merely d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu.<\/p>\n

The same witching hour is upon you once more.<\/p>\n

6 a.m.
\n<\/b>A mischievous laugh startles you from your slumber. You bury your head in your pillow and ignore it. This is why you had twins; let them entertain each other.<\/p>\n

7 a.m.
\n<\/b>You hear a much louder scream. DESTROY SAY NO competing a fraternal scream of I HAFTA GO POTTY!<\/p>\n

8 a.m.
\n<\/b>The time change has screwed with all the non-interweb affiliated devices. (OMG \u2013 those still exist in Silicon Valley?) The coffee maker did not automagically turn on. Time has turned back and yet you must now wait longer for a morning caffeine infusion.<\/p>\n

9 a.m.
\n<\/b>Fight the fading summer light! Homemade waffles on a Sunday morning. And a strong craving for powerful narcotics to dull the pain resulting from the ice cream maker that dropped on your head as you attempted to procure the waffle maker from behind the delectable creator and beside the fire extinguisher. (This totally happened.)<\/p>\n

10 a.m.
\n<\/b>Time is relative. In this case it\u2019s relative to the amount of times a pair of 3-year-olds will throw a fit over the wrong color oatmeal packet \u2013 the correct answer is dependent upon snackiness, which increases in exponential proportion to crankiness.<\/p>\n

11 a.m.
\n<\/b>Despite the latest technological buzzword of a world comprising the \u201cInternet of Things,\u201d your home has approximately 472 items with LED lit clock functionalities that must be changed by hand. You are smarter than the two black plastic < > pinhole buttons. Or are you\u2026 (You are not.)<\/p>\n

12 p.m.
\n<\/b>Naptime. Kind of. Gird your loins for the impending meltdown of non-napping routine-edited muppets.<\/p>\n

1 p.m.
\n<\/b>Wait. Did your spouse already change that clock? Is it 2? Or is it actually 1? Stare at the blinking lights a few minutes more. It is really only noon? Or did I just screw up the manual edit? Damn. I must have pushed reset.<\/p>\n

2 p.m.
\n<\/b>For the love of all things holy how is it only 2 in the afternoon.<\/p>\n

3 p.m.
\n<\/b>Screwing with the time\/space continuum apparently caused Christmas to instantly explode into stores. Perhaps we\u2019re supposed to completely bypassing Thanksgiving this year; you\u2019re certainly not thankful for this involuntary stationary jetlag.<\/b><\/p>\n

4 p.m.<\/b>
\nDogs are freaking out. Will no one ever feed them? They are surely going to die of starvation. Congratulations, you may now clean pee off cardboard boxes in the garage because the pups felt they needed to make their message of displeasure crystal clear.<\/p>\n

5 p.m.
\n<\/b>Daylight\u2019s done. It\u2019s dark outside.<\/p>\n

6 p.m.
\n<\/b>An extra hour in the day is an extra load of laundry! 25 loads in the allegedly 24-hour day. This is how adults party kids \u2013 you excited to be on your own yet teenagers?<\/p>\n

7 p.m.
\n<\/b>No matter what the clock says (did we ever figure out if it was changed), no matter how tired the no-nappers may be, they do not want to go bed. Tonight\u2019s tantrum will be extra exhausting.<\/p>\n

8 p.m.
\n<\/b>It\u2019s still early, but it feels so late. Rant about the time change an hour more. Maybe someone will take my diatribe seriously this time around. That is if they can pause their own time change Twitter snark momentarily.<\/p>\n

9 p.m.
\n<\/b>Fall into a deep, dark slumber \u2013 dreaming of a world with no time changes (Hawaii).<\/p>\n

No one likes change. The time change is one we do not have to stand for.<\/p>\n

I propose to you as I do every one of these confounded weekends colluding against our clocks: Let us all band together. And refuse to ever acknowledge another time change.<\/p>\n

Leave the clocks where they are now forever more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

2 a.m. A child begins stirring. You hear a scream. I NEED WATER. Minutes pass that feel like hours. You stumble from your bed \u2013 in the general direction of the bathroom, there may be a water bottle in there … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[13],"tags":[1436,334,1437,1203],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-WT","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/one-week\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":0},"title":"One Week","date":"June 5, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s been one week since the twins arrived. The time has passed by in the blink of an eye and taken forever at the same time. The routine we have developed is as follows: 9 a.m.: Pump milk for the boys. 9:30 a.m.: Morning visit to the NICU. Quiz the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/06\/logan_8days_6-5-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1199,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/weary-travelers\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":1},"title":"Weary Travelers","date":"February 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Friday was the start of a long holiday weekend. It was pouring rain. The drive to SoCal took five and a half hours. Tuesday, once everyone had returned to school or work, was absolutely gorgeous. It took nine hours to get home. We\u2019re finally home. I\u2019d planned to update you,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Vacation"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/02\/caden_drive_02-22-11.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1246,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/down-with-daylight-saving-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":2},"title":"Down with Daylight Saving Time","date":"March 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s a new millennium. Our culture should grow and adapt as time passes. Today is Daylight Saving. We \u201csprung forward\u201d at 2 a.m. - or rather, we simply skipped over that hour and went from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. I know, it\u2019s dumb. I am anti-Daylight Saving. Now, before\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Current Events"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/Crazy_clock-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2649,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/one-fine-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":3},"title":"One Fine Day","date":"July 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday was an uneventful day. There were no major mishaps, no side-splitting peals of laughter, no ear-splitting major muppet meltdowns. There were no earth-shattering revelations or once in a lifetime experiences. It was a typical day. And our family lived our lives. In What Alice Forgot, she forgot a decade\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/8am-1024x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":174,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/parental-practice\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":4},"title":"Parental Practice","date":"May 21, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Consciousness \u2013 also known as that annoying time between naps. I\u2019ve received a lot of advice on arriving babies. One of the big tips \u2013 get some rest now, because you\u2019ll never sleep once the kiddos arrive. So apologies for the lengthy duration between posts, I\u2019m constantly trying to nap.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bed-rest"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2043,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-live-tweeting-of-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":3651,"position":5},"title":"The Live Tweeting of Santa Claus","date":"December 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was the big day to meet the big man. The muppets and I went to visit Santa. At the mall. The Saturday before Christmas. I\u2019m a sucker for tradition, and I\u2019ve been striving to create our own Stream family traditions around the holidays. And who wouldn\u2019t want an annual\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Holidays"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Santa_2011_12-17-11jpg-214x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3651"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}