{"id":2993,"date":"2012-12-19T07:00:15","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T15:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2993"},"modified":"2012-12-19T07:01:30","modified_gmt":"2012-12-19T15:01:30","slug":"the-need-to-jump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-need-to-jump\/","title":{"rendered":"The Need to Jump"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"cat-jump-fail\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This was the final week of the winter session\u2019s gymnastics class. (NASTICS!)<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll be going back next round. Because Destroy is a big fan. Search seems like he could take it or leave it. (The ever adorable Coach Teresa deemed Search \u201ca good listener\u201d and Destroy \u201cvery enthusiastic.” Yeah, I can read between the lines too.) But where else could Destroy hurl himself off raised beams and yell, \u201cMommy! I\u2019m up high!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh right. At home.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been trying to encourage the little ones to enjoy gymnastics. Because I\u2019m all about the extracurricular activities that burn excess tiny person energy. I am also attempting to simultaneously teach them that the couch is not a pommel horse, the staircase railings are not the uneven bars, the bed is not a trampoline and the light fixtures are not the rings.<\/p>\n

I am failing.<\/p>\n

Last night I heard Jon utter, \u201cGee, how could this end poorly?\u201d<\/p>\n

Destroy had found the giant Diapers.com box (used to ship a single plastic trash can \u2013 but I digress because my rant about that is an entirely separate blog post) and was excitedly taking flying leaps from the cardboard structure half his height.<\/p>\n

\u201cWATCH ME!\u201d<\/p>\n

Saner minds stepped in and removed the collapsible death trap from the equation. So Destroy employed his frustratingly well-developed logical reasoning skills and took to the stairs. He jumped from the first stair.<\/p>\n

Ever so pleased with himself, he gracefully bent his knees and launched himself into the air \u2013 sticking the landing and popping back up with a grandiose TADA as practiced in gym class.<\/p>\n

When I looked back, he was proudly standing on the second step.<\/p>\n

\u201cWATCH ME!\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, no. I knew where this was going \u2013 slowly, but surely, my little daredevil would increase his step challenge by an additional stair. How high could he get? How many steps could he clear. Trial and error baby! Eventually we would end up in the ER.<\/p>\n

How could I be so certain of what would occur? Because the apple does not fall far from the tree. And I have played this game before.<\/p>\n

I was in elementary school. My family had a four-level condo in the San Bernardino mountains. My brother and I were passing the time by doing precisely what Destroy was engaged in. (Other than being older and allegedly knowing better.)<\/p>\n

There were 12 stairs on this particular flight. (Between levels 2 and 3 if you\u2019re looking for specifics.) Six stairs cleared! Success! Next challenge!<\/p>\n

I stood at the top \u2013 staring down each of the dozen steps. I had this.<\/p>\n

I jumped.<\/p>\n

This leap was going to be EPIC.<\/p>\n

It was.<\/p>\n

And it was, because approximately eight steps down was a structural support beam. I leapt. And two-thirds of the way through my flight, I encountered said structural support beam head on. Literally.<\/p>\n

I went down. Straight down. Like a 65-pound dead weight.<\/p>\n

In the days long before Twitter, I was seeing serious birdies. Fully concussed.<\/p>\n

I spent the remainder of that weekend sitting in the marigold-upholstered spinney chair, dazed and confused. Mom wouldn\u2019t let us resume our personal challenge.<\/p>\n

I survived to meet my next concussion years later. (No comments from the peanut gallery.) Our present house has 13 stairs.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m drawing the line early. At one. And that\u2019s why we\u2019ve signed up for a second session of the supervised rubber room<\/a>.<\/p>\n

(My bet is on a vault specialization.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was the final week of the winter session\u2019s gymnastics class. (NASTICS!) We\u2019ll be going back next round. Because Destroy is a big fan. Search seems like he could take it or leave it. (The ever adorable Coach Teresa deemed … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[23,15,394],"tags":[1137,1136,1033,1138],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-Mh","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2942,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/rough-and-tumble-tumbly-bouncing-or-when-toddlers-take-gymnastics\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":0},"title":"Rough and Tumble Tumbly-Bouncing (Or When Toddlers Take Gymnastics)","date":"November 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Destroy came flying off the stairs, as he\u2019d positioned himself just so that he slid down on his stomach, picking up momentum as his rotund little tummy garnered additional speed. He hit the tile floor, leapt up and headed toward the entryway rug at a full toddler sprint that quickly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sports"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3365,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-most-precocious-gymnast\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":1},"title":"The Most Precocious Gymnast","date":"June 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Every day throughout the week Destroy would find the opportunity to burst into the room, inquiring if it was time to go to gymnastics. Until it was time to go, of course. \u201cI DON\u2019T WANNA GO TO GYMNASTICS!\u201d One diaper change and four sandal swaps and we headed out the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Logan_Gymnastics_06-03-13-288x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2822,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/big-boy-beds\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":2},"title":"Big Boy Beds","date":"October 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday morning, when we went to raise our little apocalyptic horsemen from their angelic slumber, we discovered Destroy perfecting his pommel horse routine upon the railing of his crib. Jon: That\u2019s really impressive. Me: I know! That takes a lot of upper body strength. Jon: And flexibility. You couldn\u2019t that.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bed-rest"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/bobs-big-boy-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2800,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/muppet-mousetrap\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":3},"title":"Muppet Mousetrap","date":"September 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It started out with the belief that silence was scary. This was before my sons could talk. Inevitably, the room falls silent as the clattering of toys and chattering of toddlers ceases. The hush of doom blankets the room in a thick embrace \u2013 just long enough for a parent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Home"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/silence-is-golden-unless-you-have-a-toddler-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3409,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/twinsanity\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":4},"title":"Twinsanity","date":"June 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I thought my little angels were upstairs sleeping peacefully. And then I heard stirring through the monitor. Destroy: RAWR Search: Noooo. No rawr, Destroy. We need to sleep now, k? Destroy: rawr. Search: MOMMMEEEEEE! Destroy: Argh!!! He bite me!!! But when they\u2019re not otherwise dogpiling one another in dangerous situations,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Twin-painting-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2857,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/through-the-eyes-of-a-child\/","url_meta":{"origin":2993,"position":5},"title":"Through the Eyes of a Child","date":"October 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The following conversation just happened: Search: ITSY SPIDER! ITSY SPIDER Me: Oh! Are we singing Itsy Bitsy Spider? Destroy: No, mommy. What? The vocal styling\u2019s of Carrie Underwood I do not have, but come on kid \u2013 you\u2019re two. You\u2019re supposed to be entertained by the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2993"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2993"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2993\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}