{"id":2539,"date":"2012-06-07T07:00:51","date_gmt":"2012-06-07T14:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2539"},"modified":"2012-06-07T09:06:11","modified_gmt":"2012-06-07T16:06:11","slug":"just-a-little-too-comfortable-now-listen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/just-a-little-too-comfortable-now-listen\/","title":{"rendered":"Just a Little Too Comfortable. Now Listen\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"
It’s official. I’m \u201cthat mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
Since the muppets have transitioned into the new Tiny Twos class<\/a>, they now receive a daily report briefly detailing their progress. Yesterday\u2019s summary read as follows:<\/p>\n \u201cDestroy is becoming a bit too comfortable with me. He needs to learn listening is important.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n WTF does that mean?<\/p>\n Jon was on pickup duty. And he did not ask enough questions to satiate my curiosity. (The four hours of sleep he\u2019s been averaging likely didn\u2019t trigger neurons to seek out in-depth child-rearing conversations.)<\/p>\n So today I called the school to ask for additional details and clarification. With each number dialed the blog potential of this educational adventure increased.<\/p>\n I. Am. That. Mom.<\/p>\n It runs in the family. My aunt was banned from entering my cousin\u2019s<\/a> middle-school campus without an escort. (She ruffled some institutional feathers there. And I\u2019m sure this was in no way related to her being an elementary teacher for the same district. Yeah. That happened.)<\/p>\n But back to the cryptic Tiny Two report.<\/p>\n \u201cLearn to listen? He\u2019s two! His sole purpose in life is to be ornery. And even if he did listen, I make no guarantees the kid understands English yet. (He presently speaks toddler. It\u2019s totally not the same.) Not to mention it\u2019s presently a victory just to convince the kid to keep his pants on every morning.<\/p>\n \u201cToo comfortable?\u201d Isn\u2019t comfortable a good thing at the place they\u2019re spending a 40-hour week? Oh my god. Did he goose the teacher<\/a>? Did he grab her boobs? (I mean, the boys never breast-fed, so it\u2019s not like they\u2019d have an unhealthy interest in lunch. Boob-wise, I mean.) However, he does occasionally try to pull up shirts to point out BELLY BUTTON!<\/p>\n See \u2013 this is why I need clarification.<\/p>\n I wasn\u2019t defensive. I like to think I was very nice about it, simply requesting the info so we could have a better idea of what we should be working on at home. Don\u2019t make me play the preemie card if the behavior you want is outside their developmental age.<\/p>\n As it turns out, the honeymoon period is over. Destroy has conferred with his brother and the two have scoped out their new digs. He is now testing his boundaries. Literally in some instances, as he makes unscheduled breaks toward the sandbox after hand washing time before snacks.<\/p>\n (Part of me visualizes this with his arms outstretched behind him. Running faster and faster and FASTER before rolling into a little ball to take out anyone else on the playground \u2013 like Sonic the Hedgehog. But I digress\u2026)<\/p>\n Namely throwing toys. (And, trust me on this, the kid can HURL).<\/p>\n Also, his new (for now) friend has a thing for organizing his toys \u2013 stacking them and lining them up. You\u2019ll never believe who takes great pleasure in swooping in to rain destruction upon the neatness.<\/p>\n What? Destroy living up to his namesake? (I pointed this out to his teacher. She laughed politely.)<\/p>\n In short, he’s two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s official. I’m \u201cthat mom.\u201d Since the muppets have transitioned into the new Tiny Twos class, they now receive a daily report briefly detailing their progress. Yesterday\u2019s summary read as follows: \u201cDestroy is becoming a bit too comfortable with me. … Continue reading