{"id":2539,"date":"2012-06-07T07:00:51","date_gmt":"2012-06-07T14:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2539"},"modified":"2012-06-07T09:06:11","modified_gmt":"2012-06-07T16:06:11","slug":"just-a-little-too-comfortable-now-listen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/just-a-little-too-comfortable-now-listen\/","title":{"rendered":"Just a Little Too Comfortable. Now Listen\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/h1>\n

It’s official. I’m \u201cthat mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since the muppets have transitioned into the new Tiny Twos class<\/a>, they now receive a daily report briefly detailing their progress. Yesterday\u2019s summary read as follows:<\/p>\n

\u201cDestroy is becoming a bit too comfortable with me. He needs to learn listening is important.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

WTF does that mean?<\/p>\n

Jon was on pickup duty. And he did not ask enough questions to satiate my curiosity. (The four hours of sleep he\u2019s been averaging likely didn\u2019t trigger neurons to seek out in-depth child-rearing conversations.)<\/p>\n

So today I called the school to ask for additional details and clarification. With each number dialed the blog potential of this educational adventure increased.<\/p>\n

I. Am. That. Mom.<\/p>\n

It runs in the family. My aunt was banned from entering my cousin\u2019s<\/a> middle-school campus without an escort. (She ruffled some institutional feathers there. And I\u2019m sure this was in no way related to her being an elementary teacher for the same district. Yeah. That happened.)<\/p>\n

But back to the cryptic Tiny Two report.<\/p>\n

\u201cLearn to listen? He\u2019s two! His sole purpose in life is to be ornery. And even if he did listen, I make no guarantees the kid understands English yet. (He presently speaks toddler. It\u2019s totally not the same.) Not to mention it\u2019s presently a victory just to convince the kid to keep his pants on every morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cToo comfortable?\u201d Isn\u2019t comfortable a good thing at the place they\u2019re spending a 40-hour week? Oh my god. Did he goose the teacher<\/a>? Did he grab her boobs? (I mean, the boys never breast-fed, so it\u2019s not like they\u2019d have an unhealthy interest in lunch. Boob-wise, I mean.) However, he does occasionally try to pull up shirts to point out BELLY BUTTON!<\/p>\n

See \u2013 this is why I need clarification.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t defensive. I like to think I was very nice about it, simply requesting the info so we could have a better idea of what we should be working on at home. Don\u2019t make me play the preemie card if the behavior you want is outside their developmental age.<\/p>\n

As it turns out, the honeymoon period is over. Destroy has conferred with his brother and the two have scoped out their new digs. He is now testing his boundaries. Literally in some instances, as he makes unscheduled breaks toward the sandbox after hand washing time before snacks.<\/p>\n

(Part of me visualizes this with his arms outstretched behind him. Running faster and faster and FASTER before rolling into a little ball to take out anyone else on the playground \u2013 like Sonic the Hedgehog. But I digress\u2026)<\/p>\n

Namely throwing toys. (And, trust me on this, the kid can HURL).<\/p>\n

Also, his new (for now) friend has a thing for organizing his toys \u2013 stacking them and lining them up. You\u2019ll never believe who takes great pleasure in swooping in to rain destruction upon the neatness.<\/p>\n

What? Destroy living up to his namesake? (I pointed this out to his teacher. She laughed politely.)<\/p>\n

In short, he’s two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s official. I’m \u201cthat mom.\u201d Since the muppets have transitioned into the new Tiny Twos class, they now receive a daily report briefly detailing their progress. Yesterday\u2019s summary read as follows: \u201cDestroy is becoming a bit too comfortable with me. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[23,377],"tags":[672,884,882,883],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-EX","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3759,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/discussing-the-future-of-public-safety-on-a-saturday-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":0},"title":"Discussing the Future of Public Safety on a Saturday Morning","date":"January 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This sunny Saturday morning saw the following discussion in the roles public safety professionals play in our lives. Also, Jon will be teaching Destroy how to drive. \"Mom. Mom. Mom. Mamma. Mommy. Mamma. Hey Mommy! Firemen wear boots. They drive like this. Just like Fireman Sam. I'm a good driver\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/20140201-084134.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2846,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bonnie-and-clyde-before-they-were-stars\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":1},"title":"Bonnie and Clyde \u2013 Before They Were Stars","date":"October 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I bet you think you know the outlaw couple Bonnie and Clyde. You\u2019re picturing a sepia colored old-timey photo aren\u2019t you? With a couple, complete with Tommy Guns, grimacing back at the Kodak Box Camera. Two grizzled Depression era baddies \u2013 legends and lovers of the gangster era. Bankrobers of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":327,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/musical-maladies\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":2},"title":"Musical Maladies","date":"June 22, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"It was bound to happen. Search and Destroy are currently healthy, rosy, little cherubs. So guess who got sick. You guessed it \u2013 Mom. I was at lunch yesterday, after my morning visit with the muppets, when the restaurant suddenly became as warm as the arctic circle during a cold\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/06\/caden_25days_6-22-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":376,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/raise-the-roof\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":3},"title":"Raise the Roof","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, now that it\u2019s been more than a month, the muppets have apparently decided it\u2019s time to pick up the pace. Both kiddos are over three pounds. Their isolettes are open. And we\u2019re checking out the fun-filled concept of a bottle. I continue to be utterly amazed at their transformations.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/06\/caden_06-29-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4320,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/a-little-bit-rock-n-roll\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":4},"title":"A Little Bit Rock-n-Roll","date":"May 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMommy, I need the music.\u201d It\u2019s a refrain that\u2019s part of our daily routine now. We get in the car, the radio magically bursts into commercial, and Destroy demands music. The moment a song begins playing, Destroy starts in with the questions: \u201cWhat song is this?\u201d \u201cWho\u2019s singing?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Logan_Rockstar_05-04-15-200x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3478,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/out-of-the-mouths-of-babes-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2539,"position":5},"title":"Out of the Mouths of Babes","date":"July 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Happy Friday. It\u2019s time for the latest installment of the honest truth \u2013 toddler style. Search: Mommy doesn't have brown eyes. Mommy has weird eyes. (Green. My eyes are green, kid.) Me: No splashing. Destroy: That was Mater. Me: Haha, I\u2019m pretty sure you just splashed your toy in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Seriously?"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/SuccessKid-297x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2539"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}