{"id":2488,"date":"2012-05-16T16:46:28","date_gmt":"2012-05-16T23:46:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2488"},"modified":"2012-05-16T16:46:28","modified_gmt":"2012-05-16T23:46:28","slug":"winecone-wednesday-burning-down-the-house-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-burning-down-the-house-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Burning Down the House Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The mailers have begun arriving. The commercials are blathering on. The political circus has begun<\/span> continues. Next verse? Same as the first!<\/p>\n

Here’s your ticket pack your bags\/ Time for jumpin’ overboard
\nTransportation isn’t here
\nClose enough but not too far,
\nMaybe you know where you are
\nFightin’ fire with fire<\/a><\/p>\n

There is a very good chance the majority of politicians were dropped on their heads as small children. Did you see CubicleView\u2019s post yesterday<\/a>? It looks like they make have taken that Talking Head\u2019s song literally.<\/p>\n

Our governmental powers that be forgot to save money for a rainy day \u2013 and boy is it storming now. Whoops.<\/p>\n

So here is my question. Who are these people who receive a robocall during dinner and think, \u201cWow! If that candidate hadn\u2019t set up a computer to randomly call me and play a recording, I might not have realized how in touch with the community he is. I\u2019m totally voting for THAT guy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Did you see my post on Monday<\/a>? A tremendous amount of winecones at mothers who drop their children on their heads. And also, those mothers likely need more wine.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

So one day I come home from a trip. Wife\u2019s clothes are scattered EVERYWHERE in the closet. What the hell? I notice that shelving rack is gone \u2013 with three of the four brackets there, bent all the way to hell and back. Wife sees me looking at the shrapnel that is the closet rack and says, \u201cOh, I broke the closet.\u201d So there is a winecone for you. If your husband fixes your closet, TWICE, clean out the closet so you don’t break it again!<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: It’s not unheard of to break closets. That’s all I’m saying… For example, one should not try to scale an IKEA closet in search of a hat if one weighs more than, say, 20 pounds. Particleboard winecones will come crashing down upon you. Hypothetically speaking, of course. And a large quantity of wine to husband\u2019s who repeatedly fix the closet. <\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

A Winecone to the lady who left the aquarium, got in the front passenger seat of her minivan, and had her BABY STILL IN The BABY BJORN! What the fuck lady?!<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: Ok, seriously? I\u2019m going with the obvious here. May the waterlogged winecone knock some sense into her. And also, that\u2019s totally illegal. I guarantee you that chick has dropped her kid before. <\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

To the blowhard in my office who has never heard someone else\u2019s idea over his own blathering idiocy. I\u2019m so glad you\u2019re so terribly confident in your knowledge of everything. But just in case you missed it, publicly humiliating others to try making yourself look better? You\u2019re an ass.<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: I have no doubt a winecone strike will result in a sudden rush of hot air. Which is likely flammable. Thus bringing us full circle back to burning down the house. Add a little more wine and isn\u2019t that a great coning \u2013 watching a blowhard deflate in a self-serving ball of flame.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

All joking aside, I\u2019ve got to give some major props to every parent who has dropped, tossed or witnessed a daredevil child leap from great heights. Thanks for making me feel not quite so unfit.<\/p>\n

So to the parents out there (Happy Mother\u2019s Day btw) who aren\u2019t perfect: a kiss.<\/p>\n

And to the friends and family who rebuild our closets when we break them and stand by us when we have a bad day at work: a kiss.<\/p>\n

\u2018Till next week, winecones and kisses!<\/p>\n

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at anervousticmotion1@gmail.com<\/a>\u00a0or tricia@streamoftheconscious.com<\/a> and we\u2019ll add yours next week!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The mailers have begun arriving. The commercials are blathering on. The political circus has begun continues. Next verse? Same as the first! Here’s your ticket pack your bags\/ Time for jumpin’ overboard Transportation isn’t here Close enough but not too … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[478,658],"tags":[849,355,750,632,583],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-E8","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2586,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-space-squirrel-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":0},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Space Squirrel Edition","date":"June 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Has anyone ever looked at you and said, \u201cJust smile. If you smile, you\u2019ll be happy. You can\u2019t be sad with a smile.\u201d This, of course, is bullshit. However, it\u2019s always fun to find something that will genuinely make you smile. And that, dear friends, is Space Squirrel. This awesome\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2146,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-grandma-got-run-over-by-a-reindeer\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":1},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer","date":"January 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you reading\u00a0A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there \u2013\u00a0Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! I know. The holidays are over. (I\u2019m looking at you house on my street that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2686,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-new-york-state-of-mind-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":2},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 New York State of Mind Edition","date":"August 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s here. A year ago I saw the flood of tweets on the BlogHer conference and thought it sounded fabulous. I don\u2019t \u201cknow\u201d (in the face-to-face sense anyway) a single soul going. And it\u2019s happening in Manhattan. I decided to take the plunge and sign up for something that could\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/486533_421716787874113_332710607_n-300x210.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2607,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-independence-day-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":3},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Independence Day Edition","date":"July 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Well if this wasn\u2019t the easiest edition to come up with. It\u2019s the Fourth of July! Hang up your flag, fire up the grill and have a chill holiday celebrating the birth of our nation. In true patriotic style, today\u2019s winecones are thrown in true classic American style. Baseball, PB&J\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/486511_10150888943542257_334113789_n-300x210.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2409,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-goodbye-earl-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":4},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Goodbye Earl Edition","date":"April 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Today\u2019s winecones lack their usual hijinks and hilarity. Because some things are never ok. And sometimes it\u2019s the silent ones who have the loudest voices. Northern California had a very tragic weekend as far as domestic violence is concerned. Four people lost their lives \u2013 separate murder\/suicides \u2013 and two\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2640,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-measure-twice-cut-once-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2488,"position":5},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Measure Twice Cut Once Edition","date":"July 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Fear not. I didn\u2019t forget this week. But I was preoccupied with the furniture. I\u2019m doing this writer thing now. So I decided it was time for a new office setup. A nice cozy writers enclave to craft my well told stories (and throw winecones). Pottery Barn desk I\u2019ve coveted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/Wine-300x234.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2488"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2488"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2488\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}