{"id":2459,"date":"2012-05-04T01:51:42","date_gmt":"2012-05-04T08:51:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2459"},"modified":"2012-05-04T08:41:05","modified_gmt":"2012-05-04T15:41:05","slug":"the-penalty-box","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-penalty-box\/","title":{"rendered":"The Penalty Box"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There are certain actions not tolerated in our household (or at school, hence a prior plethora of incident reports). Bad behavior leads to a stint in the penalty box. Time. Out.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do that, you go to the box.
\nTwo minutes, by yourself and you feel shame.
\nAnd then you get free.\u201d
\n\u2013 Slap Shot<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Search and Destroy decided it was a climbing night. And Destroy kicked it off with a flying leap from the coffee table onto the couch with a victory cry of \u201cJUMP!\u201d<\/p>\n

Discouragement was met with a wicked giggle. Yet I persisted with my Jedi mom mind tricks to persuade him to climb on his play structure. I was unsuccessful.<\/p>\n

He moved on to his rocking Police motorcycle. (It\u2019s been cleaned.<\/a>) With. Authority. Scooting it forward right into me. I looked at him sternly. He laughed. He stood up \u2013 on the seat \u2013 and continued rocking. Then paused. Looked up at me, and raised his hands above his head in a triumphant victory stance.<\/p>\n

Still not recommended living room activities, but\u2026well, he hadn\u2019t killed himself yet.<\/p>\n

Naturally Search took this opportunity to up the ante. With a methodically intense focus on the task at hand, he dislodged the large exercise ball the adults had so brilliantly (so we thought) wedged between the end table and couch to prevent vertical assents. (But inmates are always one step ahead.) The green orb rocketed down the treadmill belt, toward the daredevil Destroy, like an Indiana Jones boulder.<\/p>\n

Both boys took off for the slide, jostling for the ability to climb it. (Sliding *down* is apparently for amateurs.) Search played his trump card. I saw the frustration scrunch up his little face. And he lunged.<\/p>\n

And took a giant bite out of his brother.<\/p>\n

Destroy\u2019s eyes immediately welled up with crocodile tears and he screamed a single sob followed by an extended period of silent screams. Finally he pointed and yelled, \u201cBite! Bite!\u201d as Jon whisked Search to the penalty box.<\/p>\n

Two minutes, kid. By yourself. In the box.<\/p>\n

Thirty seconds in, Search stood up and announced, \u201cAll done.\u201d If only it were that easy\u2026<\/p>\n

After two minutes he got free. He darted around the play structure and decided to climb to the top. Destroy, in his infinite wisdom, followed him \u2013 sidling up right next to him and proclaiming, \u201cNo bite. No bite.\u201d before bursting into a howling wail.<\/p>\n

Faker.<\/p>\n

He eyed me, seemingly displeased that his dramatic theatrics had not produced the desired effect. But was quickly distracted by a renewed attempt at scaling the slide in reverse.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile Search approached the top of the slide. I knew what was coming. He grinned over at me with a dastardly mischievous grin. (Sigh, you are your mother\u2019s son, my child. Karma. Bitch. I know.)<\/p>\n

With an added forward thrust, he rocketed down the slide, directly into his brothers climbing arms – taking them both out. They landed with a thud on the hardwood floor.<\/p>\n

Before bursting into peals of laughter.<\/p>\n

Huh. Well, *that* is not how we expected that particular escapade to end.<\/p>\n

And then Destroy shoved Search who ran over and bit me.<\/p>\n

Back to the box.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are certain actions not tolerated in our household (or at school, hence a prior plethora of incident reports). Bad behavior leads to a stint in the penalty box. Time. Out. \u201cYou do that, you go to the box. Two … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[23,15,10,394],"tags":[672,428,832],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-DF","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1892,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/potty-humor-part-ii\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":0},"title":"Potty Humor, Part II","date":"November 10, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"For those of you eagerly playing along at home, the score is now 4-for-4. And yes, this is the second post in a week dealing with bodily fluids.\u00a0 Search bit another one of his friends this afternoon and served actual time in the official preschool penalty box. It was one\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/most-problems-can-be-dissolved-with-a-warm-relaxing-bath-200x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1996,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/evil-knievel-and-the-peanut-butter-sandwich\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":1},"title":"Evil Knievel and the Peanut Butter Sandwich","date":"December 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"No good ever came of a phone call that began, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, they\u2019re okay.\u201d \u201cDestroy\u2019s had a rough morning\u2026\u201d Miss Stephanie continued. \u201cI felt that I should call and warn you before you came to pick him up as he looks a bit worse for wear.\u201d I forced myself to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Daycare"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/IMG_0591-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3233,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/opposites-attract-except-when-theyre-driving-parents-up-the-wall\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":2},"title":"Opposites Attract (except when they\u2019re driving parents up the wall)","date":"April 5, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Destroy may physically be a carbon copy of his father, but lately it appears my genes have been making an appearance. Tantrums abound. And I may have been a wee bit difficult (and\/or incoherently irrational) as a small (midsize and large) child. I was warned that 3-years-old was a \u201cdifficult\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Caden_Peas_04-04-13-e1365139327656-225x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3381,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/generational-friendships\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":3},"title":"Generational Friendships","date":"June 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"In late December 2011, an old high school girlfriend and I started mentioning that since we were both SoCal transplants in the NorCal Bay Area, we should totally get our kids together for a playdate. Megan, of Never a Dull Second, is now proud BoyMom to two of the cutest\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Text-with-Megan-200x300.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3305,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-incident-report\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":4},"title":"The Incident Report","date":"May 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I opened the green binder to sign the boys out of school. And there was the ominous folded sheet paper. The Xeroxed Incident\/Accident report. With \u201cIncident\u201d prominently circled. Oh goodie. Bubbly blue handwriting scrawled across the faded purple\/black lines: The kids were playing outside. One of them was lying on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Destroy"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4140,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bumps-and-bruises-to-be-expected\/","url_meta":{"origin":2459,"position":5},"title":"Bumps and Bruises To Be Expected","date":"November 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The forecast called for rain. And the California morning had proven rather gloomy. But muppets were going stir crazy. It was mission critical to get them out of the house to expend some of the pent up energy boiling over. Destroy had knocked all the couch cushions to the floor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Health"","img":{"alt_text":"Monkey Bars","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Monkey-Bars-1024x512.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2459"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2459"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2459\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}